DEAR ABBY: How does one make friends after college? This may seem like a dumb question, but I'm having a hard time.

Right after I graduated, I married a wonderful man and moved halfway across the country, leaving all my close friends behind. Having been raised an Army brat, I never had trouble adjusting to new situations until now.

My husband is my best friend and a great companion, but I miss having girlfriends in my life -– to cry over silly movies with, and go shopping, and share "girl talk."

I am working two jobs, so time is scarce, and I don't have the money to join a gym so I can meet people. My day job provides limited contact with the public, and at both jobs my co-workers are decades older than me.

So far, the only people I've met my own age are all single, and they like to party and do singles things. I'm happy with my guy, so of course I'm not into that.

Ideally, I'd like to meet other couples so I can make some female friends, and we can send "the boys" out to do macho things. I'm hoping you can help me, Abby. -- FRIENDLESS IN THE TEXAS PANHANDLE

DEAR FRIENDLESS: Please don't write off the possibility of forming friendships with older people. They can be great mentors and can also have children or extended family who are your age.

Since your time for socializing is limited, consider exploring relationships at your place of worship or among your husband's co-workers.

DEAR ABBY: My children are grown. They moved out a few years ago, but now they're back. They do not want to take care of themselves, and do nothing physically or financially to keep the house in order.

I would like to sell my home and work overseas for one year in my profession. If I don't do it now, I never will.

Please tell me how to get these overgrown "children" out of my house and off my back. They have their own money and they have friends. I don't know how to handle this. I'll take your advice. (I have for years.) -- USED MOM IN MINNESOTA

DEAR USED MOM: Be firm. Give your adult offspring a deadline to be out. Then put your house up for sale and take the job overseas. Please don't feel guilty for doing so. You have earned the right to experience your dream. Your children are adults now. It's time they learned to survive on their own. It's an important part of growing up.

DEAR ABBY: I was dating someone special for six months. I'll call her Meg. I fell deeply in love with her and thought we had a future. Meg said she loved me, too.

A few weeks ago, she got upset with me and said I wasn't smart enough or intuitive enough to know she needed $3,000 to buy a car. Meg said if I really loved her, I would have picked up on her "hints" and given her the money without hesitation. The truth is, I probably would have, but I'm not a mind reader. Now she's done a complete 180 on me and hung me out to dry.

Abby, Meg never calls me "honey" or "sweetheart" anymore, and never seems to have more than a moment to spend with me. I love her, but don't know what to do. I don't know how much more rejection I can take. What do you make of her behavior? -- BLINDSIDED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR BLINDSIDED: Count yourself lucky. You are finally seeing the real person beneath the loving facade. Bluntly put, your lady friend is a gold digger. Ease your broken heart with the thought that you're $3,000 ahead of the game. This "romance" was not meant to be.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am an attractive 33-year-old, unattached woman who is extremely shy and lonely. Please don't tell me to look for companionship in church (done that) or clubs, which don't exist in my small town.

The nearest singles group is a 30-mile drive, and the "pickings" there are slim. Most of my friends are married and preoccupied with husbands and busy households. We might meet for coffee or an occasional meal, but not often.

The few single girlfriends I have are romantically involved and do not want to leave their boyfriends even for an hour, so I am stuck every weekend at home by myself. I tried an Internet dating service. All the responses I got were from men 50 and older -- even though I requested no one over 37.

I am beginning to doubt myself as a person -- fearing that no one will ever want to get close to me. My attitude is starting to affect my job performance.

Abby, am I asking too much to want someone to cuddle up with at night; someone to be there when I've had a rough day; someone to go bike riding with or for a day at the beach?

Can you help me? Please tell me what I can do. My birthday is coming up. All I want in the whole world is to spend it with someone who cares about me. -- LONELY IN A SMALL TOWN SOMEWHERE IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LONELY: Any experienced fisherman knows that in order to be successful, you have to row your boat to where the fish are biting.

Take a look at a map and find a medium-to-large city that you think might offer you a chance for employment and the opportunities to mix with interesting people your age. Once there, get involved in activities where "nice people" meet. (Volunteer work is a good choice.)

Sitting around in a small town brooding about feeling isolated is a waste of precious time.

P.S. If you feel your shyness is limiting your opportunities, I urge you to get counseling. It would be the most valuable birthday present you could give yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-mother-in-law, Thelma Barcal, lived in Sioux City, Iowa, and took delight in telling this true story from the 1920s about a pair of young twin girls who lived next door to her on -- I believe -- Jackson Street.

Thelma took great pride in the flowers she grew in her backyard. Evidently the twins liked them, too. In fact, they liked them so much that one day they picked most of them.

The next thing Thelma knew, her doorbell rang -- and there stood the twins at her front door wanting to sell her own flowers back to her!

Those precocious twin girls grew up to be "Dear Abby" and "Ann Landers." Thought you might enjoy this little trip down memory lane. -- ALICE MOSES, HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR ALICE: I did, indeed. I'm not surprised that my mother and my aunt were so enterprising at such a tender age. However, I'm relieved the two "hot petal pushers" decided to devote their talents to something legitimate before they were "busted" for their entrepreneurship. (Both were too short to look good in horizontal stripes!)

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: How can people observe the first anniversary of Sept. 11 in a personal way with family and friends?

This question has been posed to the White House Commission on Remembrance by teenagers and seniors alike. In response, we have developed a special remembrance, centered on the theme "Stand With Courage."

Real courage is born of necessity in a crisis, exemplified by the actions displayed by the passengers on the fateful United Airlines Flight 93, or the men and women who ran up the stairs of the collapsing buildings in the call of duty. It is reflected in the bravery of the wives, husbands and children who have continued with their lives after the devastating loss of their loved ones.

Every one of us can observe the anniversary of the attacks by pausing for a personal moment of remembrance, which includes the symbolic ringing of a bell three times (once for each site) and an informal candlelight vigil. Suggestions for such a remembrance are available on the commission's Web site at www.remember.gov. These ideas include gathering with loved ones for dinner, saying a prayer for the families of those who died, driving with headlights illuminated or displaying the American flag.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face," Eleanor Roosevelt once said. "You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'"

We can continue to affirm our strength as a nation by renewing our faith and courage on this first anniversary of the attacks. -- CARMELLA LA SPADA, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WHITE HOUSE COMMISSION ON REMEMBRANCE

DEAR CARMELLA: I would like to join you in extending my deepest sympathy to the families and friends of the people who perished in the attacks on the World Trade Center, the Pentagon, and the plane that went down in Pennsylvania; also those brave souls who sacrificed their lives trying to rescue others on that horrific day.

As much as we might wish otherwise, we must be prepared for "the next thing that comes along." To me, that means also supporting those young men and women who have put their personal lives aside and have assumed roles in our military to protect us all from terrorism.

Often this has been done at great expense to themselves, as they put family lives and careers on hold in order to do it.

I have been told repeatedly that the greatest morale booster for our service members stationed far from home is mail call.

A simple and easy way to express our gratitude to these brave and idealistic men and women is to e-mail them a personal message of support via www.OperationDearAbby.net. This Web site is an official program of the Department of Defense, and is noncommercial.

People who don't know how to operate a computer can ask a friend who has one to help them do it, or they can go to a public library or computer store and ask for assistance.

Simply type in: www.OperationDearAbby.net, select "send a message," and start writing.

I'm reminded of a quote from President John F. Kennedy's inaugural address: "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."

Today I would like to paraphrase it: Ask not what your country can do for you; ask instead what you can do for those courageous individuals who so selflessly and bravely serve our country.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)