DEAR ABBY: I think I am going crazy. My husband, "Lou," retired from the travel business two years ago. Since then, he has maintained a friendship with a married woman, "Maggie," who worked in his office. I didn't mind their bimonthly lunches as long as they took place in a public restaurant.

I recently learned, by chance, that they have been having lunch in Maggie's home, have taken a business trip together out of town, and even went canoeing. They also arranged to travel with her husband to select land to build a cabin on. When her husband couldn't go, Lou and Maggie went by themselves.

Lou has become sneaky and secretive about his meetings with Maggie, but he insists that they are "just friends" and that "nobody is going to tell him to give her up."

He finally agreed to go back to meeting her in public, but he complains that I am "suspicious." I know he eagerly awaits their luncheons together because he gets all dressed up and puts on deodorant.

Abby, I am 10 years younger than my husband. I am active and considered good-looking. Although Lou says he loves me, his words ring hollow. I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Am I justified in asking him to give up this "friend"? Should I consider leaving him? -- SECOND FIDDLE IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR SECOND FIDDLE: Maggie may be just a friend, but your husband should consider your feelings first. His lack of candor and secretiveness would make anyone suspicious. Since this is "only a friendship," it's time you were included in these luncheons. Make a point of making yourself available. If your husband refuses, try marriage counseling before you pack your bags.

DEAR ABBY: As I sat on my porch today, I could hear my neighbor beating his children. I called Child Protective Services and reported it.

I have lived here only a few months, Abby, but the child abuser has lived here for about 10 years. Why am I the first person to report it? The other neighbors have certainly heard the screaming, too.

I told the social worker, "It sounds like a leather belt striking the skin." When he asked how I knew what a belt sounds like when it hits skin, I told him that I was abused as a child. For 13 years I was beaten almost daily. No one ever came to my rescue. Our neighbors must have heard my screams, too, but no one did a thing to stop it -- just like the neighbors I have now.

Abby, people must realize that they may be the only ones who can make a difference in a child's life. Children can't stand up to an adult who beats them. Help is available -- and it's just a phone call away. You don't even have to give your name.

I made the phone call because when I was a child I prayed every day for SOMEONE to help me -- but no one ever did. I refuse to allow another child to be treated the way I was. -- GOOD NEIGHBOR IN RENO

DEAR GOOD NEIGHBOR: You were right to speak out. All a person who suspects child abuse and/or neglect has to do is pick up the phone and ask the operator for the phone number of Child Protective Services. One phone call can prevent years of suffering -- and literally make the difference between life and death. Kudos to you.

DEAR READERS: At 2:00 a.m., daylight-saving time came to an end. Did you remember to turn your clocks back one hour? And have you replaced the batteries in your smoke alarms? If not, now's the time!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm an attractive 41-year-old woman with a big problem. I have never had a lasting friendship with another woman. All my close friends have been men. "Jack," my husband of 21 years, hasn't been concerned about this until recently.

A year ago, "Jon" began working with me. Jon is witty, charming and great with my children. He is also good-looking, young and single. We have become close friends, and I find myself in intimate conversations with Jon that I can't have with Jack. We are so alike, it's like looking in a mirror. We've never had sex, and I don't think Jon wants it either.

I've told Jack almost everything about Jon. He says he believes and trusts me. I'm not sure I believe him. Jon and I used to stay after work and talk for hours. I could see it upset Jack because he became withdrawn, so we stopped doing it. Now I try to call Jon when Jack isn't home. Or when I'm running errands, I drop by Jon's house. But it feels like I'm cheating, even though I'm not doing anything wrong.

I want Jack and Jon to be friends, but Jack is almost hostile to Jon. I love my husband and my children. I would never do anything to hurt them -- but I need Jon and he needs me.

Please don't tell me to forget Jon, because this is only a friendship. I want both Jon and Jack in my life. -- WANTS IT ALL IN CEDAR RAPIDS

DEAR WANTS: It's time for a reality check, dear lady. Your relationship with Jon has evolved from a friendship into an emotional affair. Don't blame your husband for reacting the way he has.

Sneaking around will only drive more of a wedge between you and your spouse when the truth comes out. Before you destroy your marriage, find out what happened to the intimacy you once shared with your husband. Only then can you put it back on track.

Hint: A giant step in the right direction would be for you to find another place of employment.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Millie," is being married for the second time. She has asked me to be her maid of honor again and is planning a wedding even bigger than the first.

I am happy for Millie, but since her first wedding, my situation has changed dramatically. My husband was laid off, and I am now the primary breadwinner for our family of five. We are having a hard time making ends meet.

I cannot afford the financial burden of being in Millie's wedding. I don't want her to think I'm making excuses. She has always been there for me. I feel so guilty. What should I say to my friend? -- TORN IN TEXAS

DEAR TORN: Tell her exactly what you have told me. If she is, indeed, your best friend, she will understand. There is no reason to feel "guilty." Your husband was laid off because of the bad economy -- and consequently, your priorities have had to change. That may not be good news for your friend, but it's reality, and your family is not the only one that has experienced this.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Our son, "Michael," is a freshman in college in New York. He is also on the football team. My wife and I traveled from Boston to see Michael's first game of the season. When we arrived, we were joined by his girlfriend, "Liz," a high school junior from our hometown, and her parents.

They stayed the entire weekend and acted like they were part of the family. Liz's dad was giving Michael "fatherly advice" and telling him they were coming back to see more games this fall. They even discussed plans for Christmas vacation. My wife and I had only about one hour alone with our son the whole time we were there.

Liz's parents were high school sweethearts and they seem to think the kids will be, too. We hinted to them that we think they are sexually active, but they insist that Liz is a virgin.

We would like Michael to enjoy his college experience with students his age on campus. We don't appreciate Liz's visits. We would like to say something about this to her parents, but we don't want to alienate Michael. What can we do? -- PARENTS WITH UNWANTED VISITORS

DEAR PARENTS: Forget about talking to the parents. Have a serious talk with your son. Make absolutely certain that he recognizes the importance of birth control, as well as the necessity of finishing his education before he assumes the responsibilities of marriage. Encourage him to get involved with campus activities and meet new people. Then tell him you think Liz is a "sweetheart," but the romance is progressing at a faster pace than you're comfortable with, and that you'd like to spend more time alone with him. Be careful not to say anything negative to your son about Liz or her parents, or you could cause a backlash.

DEAR ABBY: I am 11. My parents are divorced. When I visit my dad's house, he always takes his telephone calls outside. I'm not allowed to answer the phone or be in the same room when he checks his e-mail. I love my father, but I'm scared to talk to him about this because he has a temper.

What do you think is going on? -- CONFUSED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR CONFUSED: It's sad that you are so intimidated by your father that you are afraid to talk to him. Since I don't know him, I cannot say for sure what's going on. However, let me say this: Sometimes when a person keeps something a "secret," it can make it appear more mysterious than it actually is. The subject applies to a lot of parents, so clip this column and hand it to your father. He needs to see it. Perhaps it will help to bridge the communication gap.

DEAR ABBY: I am grieving. My beloved shih tzu, Pretzel, died unexpectedly last Thursday. She was with me for nine wonderful years. I am so grief-stricken I can barely function. I have no children, and Pretzel meant the world to me.

My problem is well-meaning family members and friends who are pressuring me to get another dog. My Pretzel has not been gone for a week, and these people keep asking me for details about her death and saying, "When will you get another one?"

How can I get them to let me grieve in peace? -- HURTING IN L.A.

DEAR HURTING: Tell your friends and family you know they mean well, but it's too soon to discuss the details or consider getting another dog. They need to be reminded that dogs, like people, have special qualities and personalities that make them unique. They are not interchangeable, any more than people are.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)