DEAR ABBY: I am the third woman in my husband's life. "Don" had two loves before me. Last week, his first love, "Kristin," called him out of the blue and told him she'd had a horrible dream about him. She said she had awakened sobbing, convinced he had been severely injured or was in some kind of trouble. Kristin went on to say that she had looked him up on the Internet after her dream, and lo and behold, she'd discovered that he works only blocks away from her. She asked him to have lunch with her.

My sixth sense is usually excellent -- and it is screaming that this gal is on the prowl. Her third marriage is shaky, and I believe she has my husband in her sights. Don disagrees. He says I should trust him; he hasn't seen her in 40 years and it would be a harmless lunch.

I say he would be starting down a slippery slope.

Don and I have been married 20 very happy years. Even though I trust Don that nothing physical will happen, I'm afraid old feelings will be rekindled.

Am I unreasonable in asking Don not to see this woman? -- SCARED ON THE EAST COAST

DEAR SCARED: There is nothing unreasonable about telling your spouse that the sudden appearance of his first love has made you feel vulnerable. It's honest communication. According to my mail, it is not unusual for old flames to flare up again.

According to professor of psychology Dr. Nancy Kalish -- author of "Lost and Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances" -- such romances are wonderful for single, divorced and widowed men and women. The success rate for them is high, 72 percent overall.

However, in her original sample of more than 1,000 men and women, more than one-third of the reunions began while at least one of the people was married to someone else. Her ongoing research since the advent of the Internet and reunion Web sites reflects that that percentage has more than doubled. It should be noted that these people were not always "looking for trouble." What began as an innocent contact simply didn't remain that way. Half of those who said they'd had affairs said they'd had happy marriages and would never have cheated with anyone other than the person from the past.

Conclusion: Married men and women should know the risks before contacting an old love.

DEAR ABBY: Six months ago I lost my wife of 18 years to cancer. I now feel ready to test the waters and begin dating. My problem is I don't know where to begin.

I am in my mid-40s, in good physical shape, and financially comfortable. However, my circle of friends is small, and Internet chat rooms and singles bars have no appeal for me.

Have you any suggestions for someone who wants companionship but doesn't know where to look? -- SINGLE IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR SINGLE: The more people that know you are eligible and looking for a serious relationship, the quicker you will meet someone. Start letting people know that you are now ready to begin dating. Make a list of things that interest you -- anything from cultural events, politics, charitable causes, bowling, square dancing, etc. -- and get involved in some of them. All of them provide opportunities to meet new people.

TO MY MUSLIM READERS: Happy Eid al-Fitr.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I was shocked when I read your reply to "Alone and Terrified," the teenage girl from Columbus, Ga. She had just discovered she was pregnant and was afraid to tell her parents because she was scared of their reaction. You advised her to go to Planned Parenthood. Were you advising her to get an abortion? -- APPALLED IN FLORIDA

DEAR APPALLED: No. That's a matter of personal choice. I urged her to confide in her mother or another trusted female adult, and if she could not do that, to consult Planned Parenthood. The worst thing in the world a girl in that situation can do is nothing. I knew that Planned Parenthood would advise her about her entire range of options. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Why did you assume that the girl couldn't trust her father enough to talk with him? In your mind, any trusted female seems preferable to talking to Dad. And what about the prospective father? -- DONALD C. HUBIN, PH.D., COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR DONALD: If the father was the parent who gave the girl her sex education, then she might feel comfortable confiding in him. However, many young women are self-conscious, and therefore reluctant, to discuss their sexuality with their fathers. Had she felt she could depend on the boy involved, she wouldn't have signed herself "Alone and Terrified."

DEAR ABBY: If that girl aborts her baby, she will most likely suffer for the rest of her life with the guilt she will eventually feel for having chosen abortion. -- LISA S., NEW MILFORD, PA.

DEAR LISA: That's not always the case. Reactions can vary. Although some women experience guilt, I have read that many report feeling a combination of regret and relief.

DEAR ABBY: Here in California a girl recently died because rather than going to her parents for help, she went to Planned Parenthood. Secrets should never be encouraged. Parents are the teen's best option. -- DANA S., ESCONDIDO, CALIF.

DEAR DANA: All medical procedures, and that includes abortion, carry some risk. According to reports I have read, the girl died of septic shock after taking RU-486. However, abortions are far safer today than they were 10 years ago -- and certainly safer than when the procedure was illegal and performed in back alleys.

My heart goes out to that girl's parents, and I agree that parents should be the best option. However, not all families are the kind we saw on "Leave It to Beaver," and many girls are afraid to confide in their parents.

DEAR ABBY: You should read "Grand Illusions," George Grant's expose of the racist roots of Planned Parenthood. Not to have advised that girl to visit her local Crisis Pregnancy Center was misleading. -- LENORE IN MANHATTAN, MONT.

DEAR LENORE: Margaret Sanger, who founded the tiny birth control clinic that was to become the Planned Parenthood Federation of America, became a family planning crusader because she felt it was vital for POOR women (and that included women of color) to control their fertility and not be forced to have large families they couldn't take care of. A woman who is not in charge of her reproductive life is not in charge of her life. According to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, the average woman, without birth control, would have between 12 and 15 pregnancies in her lifetime.

Planned Parenthood's mission is to help women make the right choice for THEM. For some, that means carrying a pregnancy to term. For others, it means using birth control. And for still others it can mean having an abortion. It is a matter of personal freedom and deeply personal choice.

P.S. I would advise women to go to Crisis Pregnancy Centers if I were convinced they wouldn't be forced to watch color videos of aborted fetuses.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My letter concerns a beautiful 17-year-old girl. She was the apple of her father's eye, one of my daughter's closest friends. She was popular and enjoyed sports. She had a bright future ahead of her.

She, her boyfriend and another couple opted for a nice dinner and a party instead of attending the homecoming dance. At some point during the evening, these kids made a tragic mistake -- alcohol became a part of the "fun."

The police said alcohol, excessive speed and wet pavement led to the terrible crash. The car hit two trees at nearly 60 mph, and this lovely young girl died at the scene. Her boyfriend is paralyzed. The 18-year-old driver of the car died the following morning. They had dropped off another teenager just minutes before the crash. She didn't realize until morning that the ambulance she heard wail by her bedroom window was for her friends.

I wish every teen would see what I witnessed at the funeral -- the grief-stricken father, the mother in shock, other family members numb with disbelief. Maybe it would save some lives. We as parents could offer little comfort to our devastated children. Half the high school was there, not a dry eye in the place. Many teens seemed on the verge of collapse.

This calamity is repeated every year in this country. It has to stop.

Teens: I BEG you. Please don't drink and drive or ride with anyone who has been drinking.

Parents: Promise your children that while you don't condone underage drinking, a safe ride home is just a phone call away -- night or day. Assure them that this ride comes without lecture or punishment of any kind.

So many lives will never be the same. The grieving families will never fully recover. Please, Abby, print this letter as a warning. Life is fragile. Life is precious. Don't waste it -- don't take chances. -- MOURNING IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR MOURNING: My deepest sympathy to all of the families who were affected by this senseless tragedy.

Teens who do not drink credit their families as the biggest influence for making that intelligent choice. Youth whose parents discuss alcohol (and drug) use with them -- regularly, knowledgeably and specifically -- are less likely to engage in substance abuse than teens whose parents say little or nothing about the subject. Knowing your children's activities and friends, and the parents of their friends, is also important.

I urge every parent and other adult caregivers to ask the government's National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information for a free copy of the booklet "Keeping Youth Drug Free." It can be obtained by calling toll-free: 1-800-729-6686. (It can also be read online at www.health.org.)

With more than 2,200 young people ages 16 to 20 dying in alcohol-related crashes every year, we must make a greater effort to prevent this waste of human life.

To my young readers: Please don't shrug this off. Make smart choices, because if you don't -- it CAN happen to you.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)