DEAR ABBY: I work for a major airline and saw something today that was very disturbing but more common than you might think. A relative of an 87-year-old lady with Alzheimer's disease put her on a plane with a card pinned to her clothes with her name and information written on it. It was not a nonstop flight, and we were asked to make sure she didn't get off the plane before her final destination. The traveler obviously had no idea where she was going or what to do.

Abby, as you know, things can happen when people fly. Weather and mechanical problems can leave passengers stranded away from home or their destination. Can you imagine how that would affect an already scared and confused lady?

Airline personnel are not baby sitters. People with this mental capacity should be escorted when traveling. Between elderly travelers and inexperienced travelers, we have a lot to deal with during peak seasons. -- CONCERNED AIRLINE EMPLOYEE, AMARILLO, TEXAS

DEAR CONCERNED: I can see why you're concerned. All it would take for tragedy to strike is a flight attendant who is momentarily distracted and a traveler with diminished capacity who follows people off the plane and blends into the crowd in the terminal.

The Alzheimer's Association urges families to always have a caregiver accompany someone with Alzheimer's while traveling. It also offers helpful travel tips for the caregiver. Read on:

(1) Get plenty of rest before the trip.

(2) Dress the patient in clothes that are easy to put on and remove (skirts with elastic bands for women; sweatpants for men).

(3) Have the patient wear an ID bracelet at all times. Information on it should include: name, address and phone number. In addition, inside the patient's purse or pocket, place a card with the name of the hotel or person you'll be visiting.

(4) Be sure to carry pertinent medications, medical records and insurance cards with you. (Also the tickets and money.)

(5) Check all luggage at the curb through to the final destination.

(6) Realize that change may create confusion and disorientation. Be realistic. Know going in that strange people, accommodations, time changes and busy terminals are all known to precipitate panic in AD patients.

(7) Keep the patient's diet and dining times simple and consistent.

(8) Do not travel at peak hours and seasons if at all possible.

(9) Carry a small sign that reads, "Please be patient. My ( ) has memory loss/Alzheimer's disease" to alert others of your special situation.

(10) If the AD patient is of the opposite sex and in a public restroom, ask someone to look in on him or her if it seems like it's taking a long time. Or place an "Occupied" sign on the door.

(11) Be patient. Reassuring the traveler with memory loss may mean reminding him or her repeatedly of where he or she is going.

Readers, for more valuable tips and suggestions, call the Alzheimer's Association toll-free at (800) 272-3900. Someone will be there to help you 24/7.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I received a small settlement because of an injury. My stepdaughter, who works as a teller at my bank, asked if she could borrow $300. I agreed. She took $400 instead and promised to pay me back out of her income tax refund.

Over the next several months, without my consent, she transferred $2,000 from my account to hers. She always had an excuse and promised to repay me.

After a year and a half, I told her if she didn't arrange to pay me back, I would have to take her to court. She and her husband stopped talking to my husband and me, so I filed a claim.

To my amazement, I was invited to present my case on television in a courtroom show.

Well, my husband refuses to go with me. He agrees that I am right, but he will not publicly take my side against his own daughter.

Abby, I need his support. He's the only witness I have. I didn't want things to turn out this way, but they did. What do you think? -- FOOL FOR FAMILY

DEAR FOOL FOR FAMILY: What happened to you was criminal, and frankly, it should have been reported to the police in the first place. Your husband's daughter is an embezzler, and she certainly shouldn't be working in a bank. Now it's time to get a lawyer involved.

Since your husband appears to be camera-shy, ask your lawyer if there's a judge who will hear the case without a camera present. If your husband still refuses to support you, call your local district attorney's office and ask if you can get a victim's advocate to go with you. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: What is up with all these unfortunate women who have out-of-wedlock pregnancies and bad relationships? Most men don't have these problems and don't mention them if they do.

To these women: If you'd get to know your partners and a little about their past, stuff like this wouldn't happen.

Women are like fish. If you have the right bait, they are easy to lure in. Once you've sampled the goods, then you throw them back.

I'm not saying I'm like this, but I have seen it. If the fish were smart enough to see the hook, then they wouldn't get caught! So, Dear Abby, please tell me why some women think they are so smart?

P.S. By the way, I'm in the ninth grade. -- FISHERMAN IN NEWARK, DEL.

DEAR FISHERMAN: Woman aren't fish, and it isn't a question of intelligence. When people of either sex become emotional about a love interest, they often think with their hearts and not their heads. Have you heard the old saying, "Love is blind"? It's the reason the phrase was coined.

DEAR ABBY: There's an uproar at our office concerning potlucks. Is it acceptable for people who don't contribute to the luncheons to help themselves when the food is served? Some of them even fill a plate to take home! Isn't this inconsiderate and rude? -- POTLUCKS

DEAR POTLUCKS: For someone to knowingly help him- or herself to other people's food without it being offered is not only rude but also presumptuous. I'd say shame on them, but people who do it are shameless.

Perhaps when the announcement of the potluck is issued, it should be clearly stated or written that in order to participate, a person must bring a dish.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a junior in high school and have participated in the Souper Bowl of Caring since it started at Spring Valley Presbyterian Church in Columbia, S.C. From putting $1 in the big soup pot at church when I was 3, to taking calls from other young people reporting their group's collections on Super Bowl Sunday, I have seen firsthand that young people can make a difference.

Would you please ask your readers to join this youth-led effort to help the less fortunate? The movement got a huge boost when you spread the word a few years ago.

To participate, people simply give $1 each for the needy as they leave worship the weekend of the Feb. 1 game. Youth group members holding large soup pots stand at sanctuary exits to receive the donations. Best of all, each group (schools do it, too) sends every dollar it collects directly to a local charity it chooses.

Even though the money collected is sent directly to each charity, we ask participating groups to report their totals on game day so the national impact can be measured. Access www.souperbowl.org or call (800) 358-7687 for instructions, to request free posters and to report totals. (We would love for the total to be announced during the game, but we need help to make that happen!)

Abby, an aggregate of more than $20 million has been collected to help needy people since the Souper Bowl of Caring began in our church youth group. This year 28 pro coaches have signed on.

Thank you for encouraging young people, and all people, to make a difference. God bless. -- SHELLEY LONG, YOUTH REPRESENTATIVE, SOUPER BOWL OF CARING

DEAR SHELLEY: And encourage them I do. By giving $1, everyone can be a winner on Super Bowl Sunday. The Souper Bowl of Caring is a laudable example of the good that can be accomplished when individuals join together for a common cause.

I applaud you for your efforts, and hope that your wish for a mention of the total monies raised during the game is realized.

DEAR ABBY: After my father passed away, my husband's brother and his wife did not attend the funeral or the wake because they said they could not get off from work.

The following week, a friend of theirs came in from out of town. They both took off from work so they could entertain him. Abby, their friend didn't even stay at their house, and they had plenty of time to spend with him -- a week and a half!

My feelings are very hurt. It bothers me that they were not there for me, my husband or my children. Am I overly sensitive? -- HURT IN LOUISIANA

DEAR HURT: I don't think so. Funerals are for the living, and when you needed their support, your husband's brother and his wife withheld it.

Now that you know were their priorities lie, do not expect anything from them and you won't be disappointed.

P.S. You have my sympathy.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)