DEAR READERS: Happy Valentine's Day. Pheromones fill the air! Although my column serves as a trouble dump for folks in dysfunctional relationships, not all of the mail I receive comes from unhappy people. Because it's Valentine's Day -- the day we express love for one another -- allow me to share some of my treasures.

From a technical sergeant stationed in South Korea:

DEAR ABBY: I miss my home and family. I realize more and more how important they are.

I owe a special person some overdue recognition. She has sacrificed and coped with much frustration without complaint or a second thought. She has moved thousands of miles from home to strange countries and managed to ensure that our house always felt like home. She has crammed four sometimes cranky people into a tiny hotel room for a month at a time until we could find suitable housing, improvising because our personal belongings were still in shipment. She has been a single parent while I attended schools to further my career, and she sacrificed countless high-paying jobs as we were again uprooted to satisfy the needs of the military.

During my year away, I've realized how important she has been to everything I have accomplished. While I have been furthering my career and serving my country, she has been raising our children, paying our bills, taking care of our home, managing our bank accounts and holding down a full-time job.

This person is my wife, Kim. She has been through it all -- the disappointment, the frustration, the aggravation and the happiness. Whenever I needed her, she was there. She's the best partner a man could ask for, and I am honored that she is mine.

I want to say to my wife, Kimberly Moonbeams: "I love you. You are the one who deserves the praise and the glory. I can't begin to measure how important you are. You are the glue that has held our family together."

Please, Abby, print this. Let all military spouses, especially my wife, know how important they are to the men and women who serve our great country. -- GRATEFUL MILITARY HUSBAND

DEAR GRATEFUL: I'm pleased to do it. Our soldiers may wear the medals, but the loving families who support them are our unsung heroes.

From Clearwater, Fla.:

DEAR ABBY: I'm one of the luckiest teenagers. I have two wonderful parents who go out of their way to make sure I'm happy and safe. I have the best sisters anyone could ask for -- they are my best friends. I have an angel for a grandmother who makes sure I am spoiled with love.

Please print this so my family will know how much I appreciate and love them. I don't know what I'd do without them. They mean more to me than life itself. I know I can be a burden sometimes, but y'all were always there for me. Thank you, Mom, Dad, Granny, Michelle, Jessica, Tricia and Keri Anne. I love you with every part of my heart and soul. You are more than family -- you are also my friends. --ELIZABETH FRAZER

DEAR ELIZABETH: What a love letter. I'm sure they'll get the message.

From Washington state:

DEAR ABBY: I work in Alaska on a fish processing boat. I'm gone six months every year. My husband holds down a demanding job 40 hours a week, runs our house and takes care of our three super kids while I'm away. I'd like to thank him for all he does. I love you, honey. You're the best. -- MRS. WONDERFUL

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Wavering," whose husband wanted her to accompany him to a swingers' party, was right on. If she goes, not only will the dynamics of her marriage change forever, she may never regain her self-confidence.

My husband talked me into the same thing in 1978, soon after our first child was born. I knew his first marriage had failed due to boredom, affairs, etc., and I naively thought it would keep him from straying. By the late '80s, I could no longer handle the lifestyle and the constant worry about AIDS. I finally got strong enough to say, "No more!"

In 2001, one year short of our silver anniversary, I learned my husband had been having affairs throughout our entire relationship, with or without the parties. We have been separated ever since, but only recently has he admitted that he needs help and is finally getting it -- too late for us.

Throughout our entire marriage, I never felt good enough because my husband always wanted something more. I didn't know until I began counseling, after our separation, that there was nothing I could have done to change his behavior or to satisfy him.

I wish I could take back all the swinging. I am so ashamed. I have herpes, but thank God I don't have AIDS. (By the way, he infected me with herpes before we ever started going to the swingers' parties.) I was too blind to see the truth.

Please tell "Wavering" NEVER to give in. Due to his sexual addiction, it's possible that her husband is already cheating. -- FOOLED FOR YEARS

DEAR FOOLED: Thank you for the powerful testimonial. While some couples argue that swinging opens up new doors of adventure, I see it as slamming the door on what should be a precious, meaningful, mutual demonstration of love between husband and wife.

Regret is the cancer of life. You cannot change the past. I hope you are still in counseling because it will help you to forgive yourself for your mistake.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl who feels taken advantage of by my neighbor, "Tammy."

I baby-sat for her. But when it came time to pay me the $20 she owed me, Tammy said she didn't have the cash on her and promised to pay me the next day. Well, she never did. Recently Tammy told me she'd pay me for dog sitting. She still owes me that money, too.

I am sick of doing jobs for her without getting anything in return. Am I selfish for not wanting to help Tammy any more? Is it wrong to expect to be paid at the end of the job? Or should I let things slide and think of it as pure generosity? -- UNPAID HELP IN KNOXVILLE

DEAR UNPAID: No, you should not let it slide. Your neighbor is taking advantage of your youth and inexperience. The next time she asks to hire you, make it clear that until she makes good on the money she owes you, you are not available.

DEAR ABBY: We've included our 2 1/2-year-old child's voice on our answering machine greeting. Recently an attorney advised us against this because of all the weirdos out there.

What is the safest message to put on an answering machine these days? -- CONCERNED PARENTS

DEAR CONCERNED: An adult male voice should say, "Please leave your name, number, the time and date that you called and a brief message, and we will get back to you."

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I would like to reassure "Darlene in Dallas," the 12-year-old girl who is looking for ways to make boys realize she is more than her ample bustline. I feel her pain. I have been full-busted most of my life, beginning with a DD prior to high school and continuing up from there.

As an image consultant, I advise my clients how to dress for a particular effect.

First, she should not be ashamed of her figure. She is special and beautiful -- and not just because she is well-endowed. She doesn't need to wear tents, but she should choose tops that skim the body rather than tight or low-cut garments that accentuate her cleavage.

Interesting jewelry, hair clips or headbands will draw the eye upward to her face and take the emphasis away from her chest.

If she has shapely legs, she should wear skirts and pants with funky patterns. That, too, will draw the eye away from the bustline.

And above all, she should learn to love herself. I wish her my best. She is not alone. -- DIANE D., NORWICH, CONN.

DEAR DIANE D.: Bless you for lending your expertise. A number of readers responded to that letter with helpful suggestions. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Tell her to buy some "birth control glasses." A pair of unflattering glasses will stop any boy dead in his tracks. My sister got a pair of nonprescription glasses for that very reason. -- WALLY IN AUSTIN

DEAR WALLY: Really? My mother used to say that men who DON'T make passes at girls who wear glasses are asses. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Darlene in Dallas" to ask her mother or another adult to take her to a lingerie store for a proper brassiere fitting. There are bras specifically designed to minimize a woman's size. Good support is a necessity for large-breasted girls and women to prevent back, shoulder and tissue/nerve damage. I know this from experience. -- BEEN THERE, TOO

DEAR B.T.T.: What a great suggestion. I'm sorry I didn't think of it.

DEAR ABBY: I must take issue with your response to the 12-year-old girl who wants boys to like her for who she is and not because of her big bust. You suggested she "impress them with attributes she wants them to notice ..."

A 12-year-old wants to attract boys, and you want to give her a healthier way to do it. As a psychologist who works with children and adolescents, I have seen firsthand the devastating consequences of sexual behavior in those who are so young. That girl should focus on developing interests other than boys. She should explore her talents, get involved in helping others through volunteer work, participate in sports, spend time with her girlfriends, talk to her brother, father, pastor or rabbi -- anything other than worry about better ways to attract boys. -- Ph.D. IN YORBA LINDA, CALIF.

DEAR Ph.D.: I agree that ideally Darlene should be encouraged to focus her attention on developing her talents and personality. However, at 12 she IS receiving attention from boys, and she needs to learn how to handle it NOW.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)