DEAR ABBY: Maybe your gentle words will help me. The love of my life passed on six months ago, two weeks before our wedding. I feel like a walking zombie who can't remember how to smile. My darling died in front of me from a heart attack. He was staring directly into my eyes. He was only 39 -- I'm 36.

We were planning our future together. I'm so lonely without him. Now I feel as if God has taken his life AND mine. I want to join my darling because we promised each other we'd always be together. He promised he would never leave me. And since he was looking right into my eyes, I can feel his soul inside me. I feel nothing but missing him and his love -- our hugs, kisses, touches.

I've talked to my pastor; that was no help. It made me hurt even more.

My love and I were together almost five years. -- LOST WITHOUT HIS LOVE IN ST. PAUL

DEAR LOST: Please accept my deepest sympathy. Although you and your fiance promised each other you would always be together, his time on Earth was tragically short. I am sure that as he looked into your eyes he wanted you to go on -- to honor the love you had together, but live a full and meaningful life.

Yes, he will always be in your heart. No other relationship will be exactly the same. But if you allow yourself, you can and will have a relationship that is rewarding in other ways. Please have courage. Seek an outlet for your grief by joining a grief support group. Your doctor can refer you -- and so can your spiritual adviser.

DEAR ABBY: Every time I see plastic Easter eggs given to young children, it makes me cringe. I am reminded of the time my toddler received a basket containing some of them. Almost immediately one ended up in his mouth, where most things go at that age.

The pointed end of the egg was a "perfect fit." As my son inhaled, the egg got stuck in the back of his mouth, cutting off his breath. He was unable to make a sound while he was slowly being deprived of oxygen. When his little face began turning blue, my husband became alarmed, reached in, dislodged the plastic egg and pulled it out.

I am thankful that we were in the same room and were able to take such quick action. Abby, please warn parents and others that these "toys" can be dangerous for small children. -- THANKFUL IN VENTURA, CALIF.

DEAR THANKFUL: Thank YOU for sharing your close call. Let it be a warning to other parents of small children -- if you have plastic eggs in the house, get rid of them now, before a tragedy occurs.

DEAR ABBY: I am 13. Three of my oldest friends seem to be drifting away. I have a new friend, "Karen," who is super nice. We share the same interests in books, movies and other things. But I'm afraid if I spend too much time with Karen, my other three friends will desert me. I have been friends with them since second grade. They mean everything to me. Help! -- AFRAID IN VIRGINIA

DEAR AFRAID: Part of growing up is making new friends. Not everyone matures at the same rate. Obviously, you are getting something from your friendship with Karen that you are not getting from your three old friends -- and that is a plus. The answer to your problem is learning to budget your time so that you are not seeing anyone exclusively.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My friends and I are in eighth grade. This is our last year together. We'll be going to different high schools in the fall.

"Allie," "Betty," "Carol," "Diane," "Emma," "Fran," "Gail," "Hannah," "Ivy" and I sit together at lunch. The table is pretty crowded, so we took a vote that two people should leave the circle. Allie and Betty had to move to another table. After lunch, Carol said she didn't think it was fair to vote friends out of the circle. I realized she was right, so I passed a note to Diane about not wanting to break up the circle and what Carol had said. I said we should all sit at the same table again. Diane said OK.

The next day, we all got together at our regular table, but Emma and Fran got into a fight. No one liked anyone anymore. The circle was officially broken. Now four of the girls sit at the original table; the rest of us sit at a picnic table. I'm the only one who's friends with everybody from the circle.

It hurts me to see my friends separated at lunch time. Will you please print this letter and let them know it was wrong to break up the circle? I want my friends to reconsider: Remember who your friends are. Think about the good times we've had and that I'm all of y'all's friend! -- BROKENHEARTED IN FLORIDA

DEAR BROKENHEARTED: Your mistake was in taking the vote in the first place. I'm printing your letter in the hope that your circle can be mended. If it can't be, console yourself by understanding that, much as we might wish it, not all friendships last forever. As people mature, they sometimes change or have less in common.

P.S. You have a wonderfully upbeat personality. If you also have an affinity for languages, you'd be a natural for the diplomatic corps.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old woman and live at home with my family. My boyfriend, "Stan," and I have been dating for over a year. We're deeply in love and want to be married someday.

However, I have a huge problem. I'm afraid to stay overnight anywhere other than my house. I get scared and homesick whenever I try to stay overnight somewhere else. I know this isn't normal, and I'm afraid I won't be able to marry Stan because of my fear of living away from home. Please help me. -- HOMESICK IN OHIO

DEAR HOMESICK: You may be suffering from a mild form of agoraphobia. Please consult a doctor, because your fear is not that uncommon and you can be helped through therapy and/or medication.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old son was adopted when he was 3. He'd had a difficult life until then. My wife and I had read stories about older adopted children sometimes having difficulty bonding to new families, and this was a concern for us.

Last week, when he and I were riding in the car, he asked if his grandparents were going to have an Easter egg hunt for him and his brother as they had in previous years. I replied, "Yes, it's a family tradition." He then remarked, "I know what a family tradition is." I asked him to explain. He said, "It's when you do the same old thing -- only it's still fun."

To my mind, that is the best description of a family tradition I've ever heard. Hope you agree. -- MICHAEL IN MARYLAND

DEAR MICHAEL: I do. And it appears that your son feels very much a part of your loving family.

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DEAR ABBY: Spring is here, and once again animal rescue workers are preparing for the inevitable: kitten season. Shelters from coast to coast will soon be inundated with pregnant cats, mother cats with kittens and unwanted litters. I am writing to remind people about the importance of spaying or neutering their cats.

Too often we hear about parents wanting to give their children an opportunity to witness the "miracle of birth," so they allow their cat to have one litter. What most people don't know is that they can reduce the feline population by having their own cat spayed or neutered and still participate in the miracle. All they need to do is contact any private or public animal shelter and offer to become foster parents to a pregnant cat. Their offer will be greatly appreciated.

The shortage of foster homes at this time of year is immense. Most shelters, like our own, provide the foster families with support that includes: education about pregnant cats, testing of cats for feline AIDS and leukemia, medical attention when needed, help with supplies if the foster family is unable to pay, spaying or neutering of the mother cats and kittens, and finally -- finding good permanent homes.

Thank you for getting the word out, Abby, and for all your support. -- JACQUELINE WOOD, MEOW CAT RESCUE IN KIRKLAND, WASH.

DEAR JACQUELINE: You have made a terrific suggestion, one I'm sure many people haven't considered.

Parents who want their children to witness the "miracle of birth" and plan to get rid of the cat and her litter should first ask themselves what kind of message they are sending. By adopting your idea, the lesson would be conveyed that pets are more than expendable commodities -- their lives have value.

DEAR ABBY: I need help dealing with my alcoholic husband, "Tom." He drinks from morning till night. Now my children say he's bribing them not to tell me.

What bothers me most is that he drinks and drives when he has our 10-year-old son, "Tommy," in the car with him. Tommy described several places where his dad bought vodka and 7UP. Another time Tommy told me his father bought him candy at the movies so he wouldn't tell me about the drinking.

My mother-in-law has advised me to approach the matter "positively." She thinks that if I tell Tom I can no longer trust him with the children, he will try to corrupt them to spite me.

I don't want my children to grow up to be liars and substance abusers. What can I do to fight this? -- TOM'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: I agree with your mother-in-law on one point. You should "positively" tell your husband that he will either get help for his drinking immediately or he is out the door. Driving a child while under the influence is child endangerment! That he would bribe his son and encourage him to lie to you is an indication of how much his addiction to alcohol has impaired his judgment.

You cannot "fix" your husband; only he can do that. But at all costs you must protect your children. The worst thing you can do under these circumstances is nothing.

I recommend that you attend some Al-Anon meetings. You will benefit from it. Al-Anon is a 12-step fellowship of men, women, adult children, and children whose lives have been affected by the compulsive drinking of a family member or friend. The toll-free number is (888) 425-2666.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)