DEAR ABBY: I loved the letters you printed about "Pennies From Heaven." I have another one for your collection. My grandfather was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, and we knew he didn't have a lot of time left.

On Monday I went to see him. He was semi-conscious, but he knew I was there. When I asked him a question, he would try to answer. When I put my lips to his, he'd give me little kisses. I said goodbye that evening and promised him I'd return the next day.

On Tuesday he was weaker. We felt he was already on his way to heaven. Once again, I said goodbye. On the ride home, I prayed he would go peacefully. My grandmother had a long ordeal in the hospital during her last days. I didn't want Papa to suffer like she did.

On Wednesday morning, my mom called and told me that Papa had stopped breathing. I dropped everything and drove as fast as I could to be by his side, but I was too late. I was unable to say a last goodbye or tell him how much I loved him.

My husband and I own a car reconditioning business. That day, a car was being cleaned for a customer. The employee who cleaned the car found a penny under one of the seats, and because he knew I liked old coins, he placed it on my computer keyboard so I'd be sure to see it when I got back to work.

When I returned to the office, I examined the penny and bawled my eyes out. It was a 1919 wheat penny -- the year my grandfather was born. Although I didn't get to say a final goodbye to him, I feel this was his way of saying goodbye to me.

Ever since that day, I carry that penny in my pocket as a reminder that he is still with me. -- AT PEACE IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR AT PEACE: Although your grandfather was semi-conscious, I am sure he knew you were with him at the last and heard your goodbye. I have received letters from nurses in hospitals attesting to the fact that patients who are comatose often hear and understand conversations going on around them -- and that negative comments can impact upon a patient's progress.

However, I'm pleased that your discovery of the 1919 wheat penny brought comfort. Many readers have shared your feeling of reassurance after finding a "penny from heaven."

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Ted," and I have been happily married for five years. He gets along well with my family, but refuses to have contact with his own mother.

Ted's mother is an alcoholic and generally abusive because of it. (She even hit me once.) She has stolen money from his savings account, and once we had to bail her out of jail. She is also a pathological liar and has caused the whole family a lot of grief.

Ted's father left her, remarried, and is doing well.

Now and then, Ted's mother writes him and sends little gifts to show she's thinking about him. She says she has changed.

Ted doesn't want to give her the chance to hurt him again, but he is filled with so much insecurity because of his past that I think it might be time for them to reunite.

Do you think he should contact her, Abby? -- CONFUSED IN TEXAS

DEAR CONFUSED: I think the decision about whether to reunite with his mother should be strictly your husband's, and you and I should stay out of it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was in a relationship for nine months. It didn't work out. Now it seems like every guy I'm attracted to turns out to be a real jerk. After they kiss me, I fall for them, but they don't fall back.

There is this guy I have liked for several years. He has already made it clear that he wants to kiss me. I'm afraid that if he does, I'll fall for him, but he won't fall for me. What should I do? -- DUMPED IN PITTSBURG, KAN.

DEAR DUMPED: Your problem is that you become attached before you know who those boys are. Slow down. Tell this young man that you'd prefer he get to know you before the kissing starts. Until then, make sure that when you see him, there are other people around -- so it's not so easy to become amorous. If he continues to show an interest, chances are you won't lose him if you kiss him.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 39-year-old married woman with a loving husband who would never cheat on me. I have been having an affair for the last eight years. The other man, "John," is also married, and he has a family. I met John at my part-time job, and he also works with my husband.

Four months ago, I decided I needed to be faithful to my husband and I ended the affair. John has now begun having an affair with one of my co-workers, a woman I consider to be a trashy person. This has hurt me terribly. When I see them, I feel like telling his wife everything -- but this would only endanger my marriage, and I don't want to hurt my husband. Abby, help me get over this affair. -- CAN'T STOP HURTING

DEAR HURTING: What goes around usually comes around, sooner or later. Your "trashy" co-worker will get burned, so be patient and resist the urge to inflict pain. Your former lover is a serial cheater. The ultimate victims are his wife and children, not you. The quickest way to get over the affair is to find another job, realize how lucky you are that your marriage is still intact, and concentrate your energies on your husband and your future.

DEAR ABBY: Our friend, "Jake," and my husband have helped each other out for years. Jake repairs our cars; my husband helps him out with his computer needs.

The last time we had trouble with our car, Jake said he'd look at it. He called later and said we needed new brakes, some adjustments, and that some of the fluids needed to be changed. He estimated the cost would be about $200.

When Jake finished the repairs, he brought our car back (instead of our picking it up like we usually do) and left a bill in the car for $400 -- $100 for brakes and fluids, $300 for labor.

We were shocked. Jake never charged for his labor before, and my husband has never charged Jake for working on his computer. We contacted a nearby auto repair shop to compare prices, and they quoted less than Jake charged us. Now we don't know what to say or do. Help! -- BARTERING BLUES

DEAR BARTERING: Too bad Jake didn't warn you in advance that he was renegotiating the arrangement. Give him his money, and in the future, charge for any help he requests for his computer. You don't have to end the friendship -- just take a giant step backward and take nothing for granted.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: When we were in our 20s, my best friend "Debbie" was an actress in several movies and television shows. Then she married, started a family and retired to be a stay-at-home mom. However, when she was just starting out and was desperate for work, she had a nude role in a movie. It wasn't pornography, but it was graphic.

Her sons are now in high school and college.

Last week, I was searching for her new e-mail address and did a Web search on the Internet. I found several pictures of her that had been taken on the movie set -- and those pictures could definitely be called pornographic.

I doubt if Debbie knows they exist, much less have been posted on the Internet. She is not much of a Net surfer, but her sons are. Should I tell her? Or should I keep my mouth shut and hope for the best? -- WORRIED IN WOOSTER, OHIO

DEAR WORRIED: If there were nude pictures of YOU on the Internet, wouldn't you want to know? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Better she should hear the news from you.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old single woman who was in a serious relationship for three years with a man I had known for nearly a decade -- since we were children. We parted on bad terms a year and a half ago.

My friends and family tell me what a wonderful, funny, beautiful person I am -- that I have a great personality and I should begin dating again. They are always trying to set me up with someone. Sometimes the thought is appealing, but when the time comes to call or approach a guy, I get scared. I have been asked out, but I never go.

A part of me likes being single, but sometimes I get lonely and wish I could find the courage to ask a guy out. My mom keeps asking me if I've met anyone. I know she wants me to be happy, but I'm scared of being hurt again, so I lie to everyone and tell them I'm fine. But I can't lie to myself.

Can you give me some words of advice to boost my confidence? -- BURNED IN VICTORIA, TEXAS

DEAR BURNED: Only this: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As my dear mother used to say, "If you want a place in the sun, sometimes you have to put up with a few blisters."

Dating is a selection process, and hopefully we learn from our errors. Although you parted on bad terms, the relationship you had was a learning experience. It taught you what you DON'T want in a relationship, and that's a valuable lesson. Please don't give up now. You have only just begun. You may have to "kiss a few frogs," but it will all be worth it when you finally encounter Prince Charming. Just call me ... "BEEN THERE IN BEVERLY HILLS"

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have no children. Our friends' children are teenagers and are good kids. We often include them when we invite their parents to dinner at our home, or when we meet for a bite after work. We enjoy doing this on occasion, but our friends tend to assume that their kids have a blanket invitation to come along.

I would like to have an adults-only dinner gathering at our home. Is it OK to say that when I extend the invitation? -- HOSTESS, ANYWHERE, USA

DEAR HOSTESS: Of course it's all right. If you choose to host a dinner party, you are within your rights to specify that you want the evening to be an adults-only affair. And since you make an effort to include the children at other times, there should be no hard feelings.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)