DEAR ABBY: I just finished reading the letter from "Sick of the Bad Rep," who is depressed at the thought of having three daughters-in-law when her three sons marry. Well, I have eight daughters-in-law, and I, too, was scared. Yes, mothers-in-law do get a bad rep -- and often it is well-deserved.

When my eldest son married, I knew it was time to cut the cord. So, I cut the strings off a thoroughly worn apron -- a visible sign of my intentions -- and washed, starched, ironed and placed them in a gift box, and gave it to my new daughter-in-law. She was thrilled and let me know it.

I now have seven more daughters-in-law, and they are all precious to me. One after another, they have told me how much they appreciated the manner in which they were welcomed into the family, and my ability to let go.

I agree with you, Abby, that "Bad Rep's" attitude is self-fulfilling. If she has done a good job rearing her sons, she has nothing to fear. Love is not divided; it is multiplied. Her sons' wives will bless her, and she'll have three precious daughters. -- ONE WHO KNOWS

DEAR ONE WHO KNOWS: I have received a bushel of letters echoing your sentiments -- but yours was by far the most original way of demonstrating to your daughters-in-law there would be no competition. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: It isn't just straight couples who have that dilemma. I'm a 48-year-old gay man. Twenty-five years ago I was in my first cohabiting relationship, with "Boyd." His mother made Joan Crawford look like June Allyson. Boyd had been married and divorced years before we met. His father was very pleasant. Boyd and I shared a room when we visited their home. The first time we stayed there, I noticed there were pictures of his wedding everywhere. When his sisters came to meet me, one of them asked why the wedding pictures were out. The four of us had a good laugh.

I am a fastidious housekeeper. The first time Boyd's parents visited us, I cleaned the house from top to bottom. One morning I got up to start breakfast and found his mom cleaning the sliding glass patio doors. I bit my tongue. As I handed her a cup of coffee, she said the sun looked so pretty coming through the doors, but the streaks on the glass had ruined the view. I wanted to slap her, but I hung onto my cool.

When people complain about their mothers-in-law I often share my stories. My point is, a woman can be a bad mother-in-law, be it to her son's wife -- or husband. -- OVER THE RAINBOW, HARRISBURG, PA.

DEAR OVER RAINBOW: I'm sorry your mother-in-law turned out to be the Wicked Witch of the West instead of Glinda. I have a mountain of letters from readers who respect, admire and love their mothers-in-law. They enjoy relationships straight out of the Book of Ruth, which, by the way, contains one of the most beautiful love poems ever written -- spoken by Ruth to her mother-in-law, Naomi:

"Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge. Thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God.

"Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried; the Lord do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me." (Ruth 1:16-17)

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Cliff," is in prison and we're not sure when he'll be out. We have two wonderful children, ages 11 and 13. We are allowed to visit him six times a month and can talk with him on the phone up to four times a week. Despite his incarceration, he is as involved as he can be in our lives.

I have a problem when meeting new people who ask where my husband is. The stigma of having a husband in jail is not something I want to carry in the small town where we live. Plus, I don't think it is something our children's friends should know because they might taunt them.

As happens more times than we'd like to think in this country, my husband was wrongfully convicted, and the explanation is a lengthy one. So, short of telling each person the whole story, what reply can I come up with when asked the whereabouts of my husband? -- NEEDS AN ANSWER IN OHIO

DEAR NEEDS AN ANSWER: You could tell your neighbors that you and your husband are having a "trial" separation -- but please be aware that the cat will be out of the bag the minute one of your children confides their father's whereabouts to a close friend. In a small town, there are very few secrets.

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 and have lived in Texas all my life, until a few months ago when we moved to Las Cruces, N.M. My younger sister, "Janey," and I didn't want to move, but Mother met "Patrick" online and fell in love. We moved to Las Cruces so they could be together and get married someday.

I like Patrick because he's nice to us, but Janey and I don't get along with his daughter, "Rita." She is 15, and says we have stolen her time with her dad. She is jealous because he pays attention to us, and she can't have him all to herself.

Please tell me how I can let her know we're not stealing her father and that he still loves her. -- STRESSED IN LAS CRUCES

DEAR STRESSED: As much as you might wish to put Rita's fears to rest, the person who must reassure her is her father. Tell Patrick privately what you have told me. Or better yet, clip this letter and tell him you wrote it. If he's unable to allay his daughter's concerns, some sessions with a family counselor would be a wise investment.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is 12 and starting to want to wear makeup. She is quite a tomboy and would rather play basketball than do "girly" things.

She wore makeup to the movies last weekend, and her father was very upset. He ordered her not to do it again. She tells me kids are making comments about her because she doesn't dress like a girl or wear makeup. Abby, I don't see anything wrong with her wearing it once in a while.

What's your take on this? Is her dad right, or am I being too easy? Is there a compromise? -- MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: Get a cold compress for your husband, because I have news for him. His little girl is growing up, and right on schedule. Now, I don't know how much makeup your daughter wore to the movies, but for someone her age to wear lip gloss and a little mascara is not unusual. Moderation is the key.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: "Double-Jointed in Dayton," who complained about how difficult it is to buy a bra, touched upon a subject that has been my pet peeve for years.

Why is it that if a woman wears a 32-A and really doesn't need to wear a bra at all, she has her choice of white, black, beige, navy, shocking pink and turquoise, as well as plaids, polka dots and leopard prints? But if a woman is a 42-D (or more) and requires a bra every waking moment, she has a choice of -- white.

The lingerie industry is missing out on a large (literally) part of its potential customer base. Sign me ... THE WOMAN IN WHITE, LONGPORT, N.J.

DEAR WOMAN IN WHITE: When I printed that letter, I thought I'd do it as a hint to the lingerie industry. Little did I know that the letter would hit a nerve with so many women. My cup runneth over ... Read on:

DEAR ABBY: While you're on the subject of bras, may I add my 2 cents? I want to tell you how inconvenient it is for large-sized women -- 200 pounds -- when our size is always displayed near the floor on the racks. Every store puts the small sizes at the top of the rack. Not only are the items we need hard to reach, but it's also hard to locate what I'm looking for while bent over. Thanks for letting me have my say. -- BETTY IN SAN JOSE

DEAR BETTY: I agree. It is shortsighted to expect all heavy-set women to be farsighted -- or limber.

DEAR ABBY: I am very slender and small-busted. Underwire bras hurt. Just try to find a 34-B that doesn't have underwires. -- BRA-LESS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR BRA-LESS: Do what I do. Emancipate yourself by using a razor blade and removing the wires.

DEAR ABBY: When someone asks if there is a "Satan," I always respond, "Yes. Who else would have invented women's undergarments and shoes?"

Truly, the manufacturers have no concept of reality when it comes to brassieres. Those of us old enough to remember the 1950s know what real torture is. That was the day of the bullet-shaped bra! No wonder the first act of rebellion in the women's liberation movement was the burning of bras. -- RUTH L. IN FRESNO

DEAR RUTH L.: We don't have to look back to the '50s to remember those bras; all we have to do is rent an old Madonna video. She wore hers on the outside, no less, so no one could miss the point.

DEAR ABBY: I wish manufacturers would design something that fits real women instead of Barbie dolls. The strap adjustments are only the beginning of the problem. We women are not fooled for one minute as to why those sharp little hooks are always right in the dead center of our backs. We know it's to keep us gals from relaxing for even a minute. It's pretty hard to lean back and feel comfortable with those little devils fracturing your spine! I'm sure I'm not the only one complaining. -- DISGUSTED CUSTOMER

DEAR DISGUSTED CUSTOMER: You're not. And if the garment manufacturers are reading, here are a few other tips from well-endowed readers. They'd like wider strap options, straps with better support and no elastic, straps that are placed a little more to the center so they don't slip off the shoulders. Listen up!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)