DEAR ABBY: A couple of months ago, I suffered a heart attack. It happened one morning while I was getting ready for work. I felt a lot of pressure in my chest and thought it was indigestion. I sat down for a few minutes, thinking it would pass -- but then I broke out in a cold sweat and became very nauseated.

My husband took one look at me and insisted we go straight to the emergency room. When we arrived, they gave me some tests and told me I was having a heart attack. I couldn't believe it. Like many women, I thought heart attacks happened only to men.

I didn't know that women can have entirely different symptoms than men. My ignorance could have killed me.

Abby, please urge women over the age of 40 who have a relative who has suffered a heart attack at an early age, or women being medicated for high blood pressure or cholesterol, to talk to their doctors about their risk for heart attacks.

Recognizing the symptoms could save their lives. -- LUCKY SURVIVOR IN DELAWARE

DEAR LUCKY: Thank you for the heads-up. According to the American Heart Association, coronary heart disease kills an estimated 250,000 women of all ages and ethnicities every year.

While some heart attacks are sudden and intense, like the kind portrayed in the movies where the person gasps, clutches his chest and falls to the ground, the symptoms in women are often far more subtle.

The May 2004 issue of the Mayo Clinic Health Letter had an eye-opening item on this subject. It related that a recent survey of more than 500 female heart attack sufferers had shown their warning signs were often not pain-related.

"More than 70 percent of those surveyed reported feeling unusual fatigue. Other ... symptoms included sleep disturbance, shortness of breath, indigestion and anxiety.

"The majority of the women reported they experienced these warning signs for more than one month before their heart attack, suggesting the symptoms were related to a heart problem.

"Less than 30 percent ... experienced chest discomfort before their heart attacks. Those who did described it as aching, tightness or pressure -- not pain. In addition, only 57 percent reported chest discomfort during their actual heart attacks. They were more likely to experience shortness of breath, weakness and fatigue.

"The absence of chest pain may be a reason why some women don't recognize the symptoms of a heart attack or are misdiagnosed when they seek medical care."

For those who may not know it, heart disease is the No. 1 killer of women. That's why it is so important that women discuss heart disease with their doctors.

The American Heart Association has a risk-reduction program for women. To join, call 888-694-3278. Simple lifestyle changes can help us avoid having a heart attack. So make the call. It could save your life.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a 9-month-old son and am expecting another child in three months. My husband, "Matt," works nights, so when I get home exhausted at the end of my workday, I care for our baby by myself.

Matt used to drink a lot, but he slowed down quite a bit when we got married. I still feel that alcohol rules his life because his idea of an evening out is getting drunk. If he has a day off, he spends it drinking, too.

On Matt's birthday, I took the baby and slept at my parents' house so he could have a party with the guys and get drunk. Because of my pregnancy I can't drink -- nor do I want to -- but I didn't want the baby there with a bunch of drunks, either.

Matt and I went to a sporting event together not too long ago. I was embarrassed because he left me sitting alone while he kept going off to buy more beer. Seven beers into the event he was stumbling over the other spectators in our row.

I hate living like this. He says I'm overreacting. Am I? Is this normal for a 26-year-old man? If it is, our marriage is doomed. -- FED UP IN RICHMOND, TEXAS

DEAR FED UP: No, it's not normal for the average 26-year-old man. But it is typical of an alcoholic of any age.

It's important that you contact Al-Anon, a 12-step fellowship of people whose lives have been affected by the compulsive drinking of a family member or friend. To locate a chapter in your area, call 1-888-4ALANON (888-425-2666), or go to the Web site, which is www.al-anon.alateen.org.

Your husband's behavior won't change until he realizes he has a problem and wants to do something about it. Whether you want to spend the rest of your life this way is a question only you can answer. But please realize that a tendency toward alcoholism can be inherited, and be sure your children understand that fact as they grow older.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years, long-distance. We visit whenever possible and plan to live together soon. My problem is, he doesn't trust me. Although I have assured him that I am devoted to him and always have been, he continues to accuse me of seeing other guys. He says he has a "gut feeling" about it. He says I treat my friends, and even strangers, better than I do him. I don't feel that way.

I'm afraid to answer the phone or have contact with people for fear that he will get jealous because he's not the center of attention. He has read my e-mails more than once, checking for evidence. I suspect he may have hacked into my computer. Is there any hope? -- INNOCENT AND FAITHFUL IN L.A.

DEAR INNOCENT AND FAITHFUL: No. If you are smart, you will KEEP your relationship with this young man long-distance. You have described a person who is potentially an abuser. His actions are obsessive and controlling. Even if you live together, you will never be able to fill the bottomless pit of his neediness and insecurity. My advice to you is to end the relationship.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I caught one of my parents using my credit card without my authorization. I checked my credit report and found that four other accounts had been opened in my name without my permission. I am furious.

My first impulse was to seek legal action, but I held back. I come from a Chinese/Filipino family. It is considered a matter of family honor not to disgrace or embarrass one another.

I am torn between reporting it and just taking care of it. But if I take care of it, I am enabling my parent to think that I can just clean up the problem and be OK with it.

I sent a letter asking that the balances be paid off. It was ignored. My other relatives aren't willing to get involved. I love my parent very much, but this isn't right. It has already ruined my chances of having a car or home of my own. What should I do? -- DISCREDITED IN ROCKVILLE, MD.

DEAR DISCREDITED: Your parent is guilty of credit card fraud and should be confronted. If you already have, and got nowhere, then treat this like you would any other crime and report the perpetrator to the police. There are legal remedies you can take.

In case you feel you are alone with this problem, I'm sad to say you have a lot of company. It is important that you waste no time in getting this mess straightened out. Please do not for one moment feel guilty about breaching "family honor." That happened when your parent began to fraudulently use your identity.

DEAR ABBY: My youngest daughter, "Patty," recently married. She and her husband have just started college, so I understand that, between being a newlywed and a college freshman, she is very busy. We rarely see them now. The college is only 50 miles away, and you would think they could call occasionally and come home once a month on a weekend. I offered to let Patty call collect or allow me to provide a calling card for her.

She was active in sports in high school and we went to every game. She was also in a drama group and we never missed a performance. So why is Patty now avoiding us? What can we do to get the closeness back that meant so much to her father and me? -- LONESOME FOR MY DAUGHTER

DEAR LONESOME: You appear to be suffering from a combination of separation anxiety and empty nest syndrome. From your description, your daughter's calendar is, indeed, full -- between being a full-time student and a new wife, with all of the responsibilities that go with it. She might be inclined to stay in touch more if you backed off and stopped pressuring her.

You and your husband have done your job well. Your daughter has been "launched." Now it's time for the both of you to concentrate on your own interests, your own lives and your own marriage. If you do, you'll feel your daughter's absence less and be much happier and more fulfilled.

DEAR ABBY: I am an adult woman who is only attracted to men of other races. I try to date men of my own race, but I can never find enough chemistry with them to have a long-term relationship. Is something psychologically wrong with me? -- LONELY IN ATLANTA

DEAR LONELY: Not from my perspective. "Chemistry" is a complicated thing, and rarely is it rational. However, if this is causing you serious problems, some sessions with a therapist might help you get to the root of it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)