DEAR ABBY: Every once in a while, you print ordering information for "Please Call Police" banners. I would like to purchase some to use as stocking stuffers this Christmas for my daughters and nieces, and also one for myself. I am single, disabled, and occasionally drive on the highways. Once I found myself stuck in the middle of nowhere. When I tried using my cell phone to summon help, I learned I was in a "no reception" area. It's tough being a woman alone these days. Having the banners in my glove compartment will give me peace of mind. Thanks, Abby. -- GERRI IN BUTTE, MONT.

DEAR GERRI: I'm pleased to reprint the information. The "Please Call Police" banners have proven time and again to be a genuine lifesaver in an emergency. Your orders will not only provide a safety measure for you and the people you love, but they'll also assist WCIL in providing much-needed services for individuals with disabilities. (I keep two banners in my glove compartment -- one for the windshield and one for the rear window.)

The banners can be ordered by writing to the Westside Center for Independent Living, a nonprofit organization that helps people with disabilities to live more independent lives. You will receive one banner for a $5 contribution, and another banner for each additional $4 contribution. (Please include $1 per order for postage and handling.)

To order, send a check or money order (U.S. funds only, please) to: WCIL Banners, P.O. Box 92501, Los Angeles, CA 90009. Allow four to eight weeks for delivery. For more information, visit the WCIL Web site at www.WCIL.org and click on the "Safety Banner" link.

DEAR ABBY: My ex, "Arnold," and I broke up two years ago, after he bit part of my ear off during an argument. I had been trying to help him, but that was the last straw. I finally had to end it.

I moved away and am using a mailing service, but Arnold won't stop harassing me. He had a stamp made with my name and mailing address on it, and he is sending me thousands of subscriptions. It has cost me more than $6,000 so far and the police are involved. This has been happening for 15 months.

How should I handle this? I'm afraid that changing my mailing address will damage my credit. -- WORRIED IN VAN NUYS, CALIF.

DEAR WORRIED: First of all, stop paying for subscriptions you didn't order. Call the U.S. Postal Inspection Service (the number in your area is listed in your telephone directory) and speak to a fraud agent. The Postal Inspection Service is the law enforcement branch of the U.S. Postal Service, and what your ex is doing could be considered fraud.

DEAR ABBY: I met this boy, "Austen," through a friend. He has decided he "likes" me. I made it clear that I didn't feel the same way, but agreed that we could be friends.

My problem is Austen calls constantly and keeps me on the phone for hours. I try to get him to leave me alone, but then I feel sorry for him because he doesn't have many friends. I have tried to tell him to call less often. It worked for a while, then he started up again. Austen is obnoxious and annoying, and I want him to leave me alone. How can I tell him this without hurting his feelings? -- HAD IT IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR HAD IT: Be direct. Tell Austen that his calls are no longer welcome and you want them stopped NOW. If he persists, repeat the message and get off the phone. He may be lonely, or he may be stalking you. If he refuses to "get the message" and continues to barrage you with calls, your parents may have to involve the police to put a stop to it.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I read with concern the letter from "Sleeping Beauty's Mother-in-Law," whose son locks his 5-year-old daughter in her bedroom when he leaves for work so his wife can continue sleeping.

When I was a child, it was my job to lock my younger brother in his bedroom after he had eaten breakfast and before I left for school. I did it because my mother also wanted to continue to sleep.

Unbeknownst to me or my mother, my brother had found a cigarette lighter. He had it in his room one morning when I locked him in. To make a long story short, he started a fire in his room that resulted in his death. I have lived with the guilt of this tragedy for nearly 20 years, despite years of therapy.

The grandmother who wrote that letter has good reason to be concerned for the well-being of her grandchild. Please remind your readers that children are not a convenience. They require the supervision of responsible people who will care for them unselfishly. -- FLORIDA FAMILY THERAPIST

DEAR FLORIDA THERAPIST: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your little brother's death. It was not your fault. The responsibility was your mother's. You were only a child yourself, and obeying her orders.

If it's forgiveness you are looking for, I forgive you. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The letter from that grandmother gave me chills. My daughter-in-law gave birth to two children, but had only one when she met my son. The other had been locked in his room while she slept. Somehow he got tangled in the cords on the blinds while he was playing and strangled. When she awoke, she found her son dead.

My daughter-in-law lives every day with the knowledge that her son died as a result of her negligence.

No child -- or adult, for that matter -- should be locked in a room. Without supervision, children often do things they're not allowed to do -- such as jump on the beds and perhaps bounce to the floor, hitting the corner of a piece of furniture on the way and getting injured. Just knowing you are locked in and unable to get out (trapped) can also be psychologically damaging. -- A READER IN ALASKA

DEAR READER: It goes without saying that a caregiver should be awake and capable of supervising the child. Anything less is child abuse.

Whether "Sleeping Beauty," the mother in the original letter, suffers from mental illness, depression or substance abuse, an intervention is called for. Because the parents seem oblivious to the danger, I advised the writer to notify Child Protective Services. While some readers felt this was drastic, it is better to take action and ensure the child's safety than to do nothing and regret it forever.

DEAR ABBY: If a woman proposes to a man, who should buy the ring? -- DEB IN KNOXVILLE

DEAR DEB: Call me old-fashioned, but if the man is a gentleman he should buy the ring. And if he refuses, the woman should enter into that marriage with her eyes wide open and no illusions about what her future will be.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Ned," and I have been having the same argument for years. I care for our kids and handle all the housework. The only chore I refuse to do is mow the lawn.

Every spring, I buy flowers, plants, trees and herbs to plant around our large yard. I plant them, mark where they are, do the watering and weeding, and show Ned where I've planted them. Without fail, in the middle of summer when my plants are flourishing, my husband will mow them over.

The first few times it happened, he said, "Oops! I didn't see them." Later, he admitted he didn't feel he should have to bother remembering where I planted and go around them. I think he acts this way because he wants me to take over the mowing.

It hurts me that Ned would deliberately destroy something I care about. I feel like he's trying to destroy part of my personality, and it makes me really depressed.

If you're wondering why I refuse to mow, it's because I do EVERYTHING else. My list of chores is already endless. I also think it's particularly mean of Ned to wait until my plants are established and growing beautifully before he mows them. What do you think? -- READY TO TRANSPLANT, ST. JOSEPH, MO.

DEAR READY: It appears you are married to a horticultural grim reaper. Since you have enough to do without adding mowing to your list of chores, a practical alternative might be to hire a neighborhood teenager to do the mowing next summer. If that's not feasible, consider placing a decorative medium-sized rock border around your planted areas so your husband can't mow them down. (Hoe-hoe-hoe!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a receptionist in a law firm. There are times when I am very busy, but there are long stretches when there is nothing to do.

Is it proper for me to read during the downtime? I feel awkward when my boss sees me reading. -- BORED ON THE JOB

DEAR BORED: Ask your boss if there are other tasks he or she would like you to do at your desk during the slow periods, or if there is any objection to your reading. If there is no objection, sign up for night classes and use the downtime to study. In no time at all, you could upgrade your skills and possibly your salary.

DEAR ABBY: Is it just me, or has the world gone "tip crazy"? I find tip baskets on the counter at the local coffee house, the yogurt shop, the juice shop -- even near the cash register in the cafeteria in my office building.

It seems that even though these people are paid to perform these particular services, they think they should be tipped on top of it. Where will it end? Should I expect tip canisters at the doctor's office, my car mechanic's or the post office? I can't afford to tip everyone I come in contact with. What is proper tip protocol now? -- ALL TIPPED OUT

DEAR ALL TIPPED OUT: Tipping is discretionary; it is not required. Employees doing counter work are paid minimum wage and need the money. If the service is cheerful, prompt and efficient, put some change in the tip jar. If you can't afford to tip and doing so would cause you hardship, don't do it.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)