DEAR ABBY: "Divorced but Still in Love" asked if it was possible for a couple who had been divorced to make a go of marriage the second time around. You replied that it is possible, if the couple is willing (with the help of a marriage counselor) to confront the issues that broke them up the first time.

The same thing happened to me and my husband, "John." We were married at 18 and had a child at 21. We were both immature, too young to be married. After our divorce, we still spent time together as a family.

Two years later, I met and married "George." George and I had a child together, but he was not a good husband or father. Several months after I divorced George, John and I rekindled our relationship. We have been together for almost five years, married for 3 1/2 years and are blissfully happy together. John is a wonderful father to both boys and doesn't play favorites. I know it can work the second time around; our marriage is proof of it. -- OLDER AND WISER, TABOR CITY, N.C.

DEAR OLDER AND WISER: Congratulations to you both. Sometimes people fail to appreciate the value of what they have until it's gone. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married at 19. In first grade, I would kick him in the shins and then run like the dickens because I "liked" him. My first kiss was from him on my 16th birthday. After four years of separating and getting back together, he said enough is enough and filed for divorce.

Almost a year to the day our divorce was final, we remarried and have not been sorry. (We had continued to see each other and I became pregnant.)

While I don't recommend having a relationship like ours, we have been happy with our decision. Counseling would have been a great help, but we were too stubborn to get it even after we remarried. Long story short, we have been through a lot over the years -- even almost divorcing again -- but we're more in love than ever. With love and faith, we seem to get through it. -- STILL IN LOVE, WHITTIER, CALIF.

DEAR STILL IN LOVE: I'm pleased things are working out for the two of you -- but the next time you hit a rough patch, please reconsider counseling. It could save you both a lot of wear and tear on the spirit.

DEAR ABBY: My aunt and uncle have been divorced from each other twice. They remarried a third time and now have a healthy marriage. In spite of all their marital trials, their two grown sons are just fine. It just goes to show you that what God has joined, let no man put asunder.

If "Divorced" still loves her ex-husband, and he feels the same, then they should go for it. Today's society has made marriage something that's disposable, when in reality, it's not. It's a soul tie that's unbreakable. And yes, Abby, I agree that couple should seek marriage counseling -- this time to heal the damage of the divorce, as well as what went wrong the first time. -- BELIEVER IN SECOND CHANCES IN TEXAS

DEAR BELIEVER: Not all marriages are "soul ties." Some of them are dysfunctional and abusive. In those cases, divorce is healthier for all concerned. But as this column proves, divorce does not have to be the end. Sometimes, it's just another chapter.

DEAR ABBY: I don't have a problem. I just want to know why do so many weird people write you? -- BAFFLED IN WOODLANDS, TEXAS

DEAR BAFFLED: I don't know. Why did you?

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My fiance's best friend, "Ted," accidentally shot himself in the head in front of another friend, "Matt." Matt blames himself for the accident, even though Ted survived and is doing OK.

Matt and Ted were drinking and looking at Ted's gun. The gun has a history of not ejecting the bullet when you want it to. Ted looked to see if the gun had any bullets in it, and it didn't, so Ted put the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger.

Matt feels that Ted blames him for what happened, although nobody blames him. It was just a stupid accident. Are there any support groups out there that my fiance and I can get Matt into? He's really messed up and needs to talk to someone. -- CARING FRIEND IN MONTANA

DEAR CARING FRIEND: Among the rules of responsible gun ownership are never to point the barrel at anyone and never to presume that the gun is empty. Ted is lucky his stupidity didn't cost him his life. If there is any support group I'd recommend for Matt -- and Ted, too, as soon as he's fully recovered -- it would be AA. It appears both of them have a serious problem with alcohol.

DEAR ABBY: Please print this cautionary tale of infidelity. It involves out-of-town professional conferences. In our small suburb, several marriages have ended on the basis of affairs that were born at these conferences.

In my case, my husband of 35 years confessed that he'd had an "emotional affair" with a single, professional colleague that endured for 20 years. While it was never sexual, they wrote each other letters and love poems -- boxes of them. (She addressed them to his business P.O. box.) They also exchanged gifts, including some he purchased for her during our family vacations and smuggled home.

The usual warning signs of infidelity were absent. There were no unexplained absences, no telephone receipts, no money missing from our joint account, no lipstick on his collars. The only clues were my husband's defensiveness -- and his vague complaints about "something" wrong with our marriage. Yet he refused marriage counseling. Our sex life became passionless, our communication nonexistent. However, to the outside world, we appeared to be a model couple.

My husband is ashamed and remorseful now. We're finally seeing a therapist, who is helping us rebuild our marriage. However, 20 years of deception are difficult to overcome.

My advice? If your mate is less than enthusiastic about having you accompany him or her on trips to professional gatherings, be suspicious. Go to counseling on your own, if need be. And do not be as trusting and naive as I was. If my spouse can cheat, anyone's can. -- SADDER BUT WISER IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR SADDER: As your letter shows, emotional affairs can be as devastating to a marriage as sexual ones. Although your spouse's affair occurred at business conferences, I receive many letters and e-mails regarding online affairs where the people don't always meet in person. The time and energy poured into these relationships are stolen from the spouse and family.

A THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Marriage is like an empty bowl; it will remain empty unless you put more into it than you take out. Although it is possible to give without loving, you cannot love without giving.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My oldest sister, "Daisy," is married to an emotionally unstable man. I'll call him Dwight. Dwight's claim to fame is bragging that he can kill people with his bare hands.

Last year, at a family get-together, he grabbed my sister-in-law "Myra" from behind without warning, pulling her hair, getting her into a choke hold and physically hurting her. Myra barely knows Dwight. She was terribly frightened and upset, and ended up pressing charges against him.

The next day I called and asked Daisy about it. Her reply was that Dwight often shows off his "abilities" by grabbing people. Abby, her husband is old enough to know better. He's in his late 50s, but Daisy's attitude was "boys will be boys."

Because Myra pressed charges, Dwight was arrested. Daisy hasn't spoken to me since. She won't return my phone calls or acknowledge birthday cards and has generally been giving me the silent treatment for a year. Is it right for her to hold me responsible, since it was Myra who pressed charges? -- SNUBBED SISTER IN BURBANK

DEAR SNUBBED SISTER: What Dwight did was childish and dangerous. Martial arts were intended as a form of self-defense, not a way of getting attention at social gatherings. For an adult to have such a lapse in judgment is shocking, and he deserved to be arrested. Your sister should direct her anger at her husband, where it belongs, instead of at you. Myra was right to press charges. I hope it taught Dwight a much-needed lesson.

DEAR ABBY: I am 41 years old and in my seventh month of pregnancy. I am a professional, the second-highest ranked woman in my office. I have prided myself on my professionalism during my pregnancy and didn't announce it until I was 21 weeks along.

One woman in my office insists on calling me "Little Mother" and rubbing my stomach. I am not comfortable with her touching my abdomen and have asked her not to refer to me as "Little Mother." I explained I didn't want others in the office to hear such comments.

Today, in our office lobby, she again made the "mommy" reference and rubbed my stomach -- with both hands. I lost it. I told her to stop it and leave my stomach alone. Now she gives me funny looks and says I am not happy being pregnant.

Abby, I have worked all through my pregnancy. I don't want anyone making a big deal of it. I feel the woman's conduct is unprofessional. I have tried hard not to let my pregnancy interfere with my work life, and I feel she is not allowing me the dignity and professional respect I deserve.

Where do people get the idea that rubbing a pregnant woman's stomach is acceptable? I wouldn't do that to someone I considered a friend, much less a co-worker. Ditto for the "Little Mother" comments. Your thoughts, please. -- PREGNANT PROFESSIONAL IN HOUSTON

DEAR PROFESSIONAL: Believe it or not, your complaint is not unusual. I have heard from many pregnant women complaining that people they barely know -- even complete strangers -- feel entitled to touch their abdomens. I have no idea why anyone would feel entitled to invade someone's personal space that way.

As to the "Little Mother" moniker -- since you have spoken to the woman and she persists, take her into your office and tell her in no uncertain terms that you consider her behavior disrespectful and unprofessional, and if she does it again you'll complain to the human resources department or the boss.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)