DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years, and ever since we came home from the honeymoon we have had an ongoing argument. When no one is home, I like to bathe with the bathroom door open because that way I can listen to television while I'm in the tub.

My husband constantly complains that his married kids might walk into the house and catch me bathing. I feel that since they don't live here, they should not walk in, and if they do, it's their problem and it probably won't happen again. Please help settle this. -- "BUBBLES" IN IDAHO

DEAR BUBBLES: If the situation were reversed, I'm sure your husband's "children" would be nonplussed if you walked into their homes without notice and caught them in the act of bathing –- or worse. They shouldn't be entering your house without first calling to see if a visit is convenient. Settle the argument by installing deadbolt locks on your front and back doors and using them when you don't want to be interrupted.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently in a grocery store and noticed that one of the other women shopping that day was a little person. It was clear that she was able to shop on her own, but she had some large items in her cart.

When we reached the check-out line, she was directly behind me. In her cart were some large cases of soda. She was able to get the cases out, but with much more effort than it would have taken me.

I wish I could have helped, but I wasn't sure how to go about it. Do little people find it offensive when a person of average height offers his or her assistance? How should I go about offering my help in the future? -- WANTS TO HELP IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR WANTS TO HELP: Little people are just like big people. Some will welcome the offer; others may not. It is never rude to smile and offer someone a helping hand. The wording doesn't have to be fancy, just "Would you like some help with that?"

P.S. However, if the answer is "no," please don't take it as a personal rejection.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old girl, and I have a little brother, "David," who is 9. David is a real pest. He goes through my bras and underwear, and walks in when I'm taking a shower or dressing. (And yes, the door is closed.) I have tried telling him –- and shouting at him -– to stop and give me some privacy, but whenever I or my parents do, he doesn't get the point. He doesn't mean any harm -– but it's quite childish, isn't it?

Please help me. I'm sure it'll help other readers my age, too. -- FED-UP SISTER, HAIFA, ISRAEL

DEAR SISTER: Your brother isn't a baby anymore and neither are you. He may mean no harm, but at 9, he's old enough to respect other people's property and privacy.

Because neither you nor your parents can make David understand that these intrusions are rude and an invasion of privacy, ask your parents to install locks on the doors of the bathroom and your bedroom. He may be just a child, but you're a big girl now.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I are in love and want to be married. I want to make certain that when I marry it is forever. Have you a list of topics that should be discussed before saying "I do"? We both want to be sure we know and understand each other before making this lifetime commitment. -- JENNIFER IN LAKEWOOD, COLO.

DEAR JENNIFER: I like the way you think. Among the topics that should be aired are:

(1) Are you both ready for a monogamous relationship?

(2) Are you both ready to establish a family independent of your parents?

(3) Are you both self-supporting and capable of supporting each other and any children that come along, should the need arise?

(4) Are your philosophies about child-rearing and discipline similar?

(5) Are your career goals compatible?

(6) Do you think alike about sex, religion and politics?

(7) Do you think alike about money and finances?

If the answer to the majority of these questions is "yes," then your marriage should endure with little conflict.

I recently received a little book in the mail that you and your boyfriend might find helpful. It is very well done, easy to read and jargon-free, and although it was written for military couples whose marriages can be subject to extreme stresses, it can provide food for thought to civilian couples as well. It was written by a former military chaplain, Gene Thomas Gomulka. The title is "The Survival Guide for Marriage in the Military." It can be ordered from www.plaintec.net. The price is $11.95 a copy, and it's worth every penny.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a divorced mother of a 19-year-old daughter, "Dawn," who still lives at home. Dawn recently graduated from high school and has a couple of college credits. Even though she lives at home, she does nothing to help me. She's always out with her friends or they're at my house while I'm at work. Dawn has no job (she says she's still looking), and she has been stealing money from my purse and using my debit card without my knowledge. I have confronted her about it and told her she has to pay me back.

What can I do to make my daughter understand that stealing from me won't be tolerated and that living at home means sharing the housework? -- WIT'S END, ALLEN, TEXAS

DEAR WIT'S END: Your daughter didn't hatch from the egg as a selfish, thoughtless thief with no respect for you. You created this monster by allowing her to get away with murder for years.

It's time for your little girl to start acting like a grown-up, which won't happen until you toughen up. Lock up your purse and lay down the law. Give her a deadline to have a job or get out. When she gets one (and I'm sure you'll be surprised how quickly), insist that she turn her paycheck over to you so you can bank half of it for her. Once she has accumulated enough for first and last months' rent on a place of her own, start "helping" her out of the nest. Until then, her "rent" to you will be paid in household chores.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MY JEWISH READERS: A happy Passover, everyone!

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Chad" for three years. About a year ago I had sex with a couple of other guys. I immediately confessed to Chad and told him how sorry I was for hurting him. He forgave me and told me he had lied to me about touching the strippers at his brother's bachelor party earlier that year.

Now Chad says that because of my mistakes he wants to be free to be with other girls while still dating me. This includes making out, sex, and anything that a steady couple would do. He told me I can do the same, and he only wants his freedom to ensure that I am the one for him. I don't want to do it because I already know that he's the one for me.

Chad says if I don't allow him to do what he wants, I am being a hypocrite, and he needs to see for himself that I'm the one he wants. Yet he also says he would want to see others regardless of what I did. I don't want to leave him, but I don't want to share him, either. What should I make of this? -- LOVES CHAD IN PEORIA

DEAR LOVES CHAD: Make of this that your boyfriend has wild oats to sow, and he no longer wants an exclusive relationship. This young man is not ready to settle down, and he also isn't sure that you're the woman for him. That's a pretty strong message. So, sad as it may be, pack your emotional bags and move on.

DEAR ABBY: I am almost 12. I have skipped a grade, so I'm in grade seven. I read your column every day. Abby, I am NOT one of those girls who "show off" their body, or already have a boyfriend. But I do have a problem. In my opinion, my chest is too big.

I have talked to my mother about this. She says there is nothing wrong with it: "Theirs will be like yours also." My mum and grandmum like buying me clothes, but I am ashamed to wear them -- not because of their style, but because they make my chest seem as big as it is.

Please answer this. I have asked everyone I thought I could ask, but none answered helpfully. Don't get me wrong; I am healthy and everything -- I'm just fed up. -- BIG PROBLEM, HAIFA, ISRAEL

DEAR BIG PROBLEM: Talk to your mother and grandmother again. Although they are proud of the fact that you are developing a womanly figure, they need to understand that you will need some "transition time" to accept the changes that are happening to you. With that in mind, they should accommodate you by helping you to find looser-fitting, less-revealing clothing that you feel comfortable wearing until your classmates catch up with you.

DEAR ABBY: What should I do about a dysfunctional family -- my dear brother and his three-ring circus? His wife never cleans their house; my mother does it when she can. The children, all under 16, are unsupervised and misbehave terribly. The 7-year-old has breathing problems and surgery is pending. She's being home-schooled by my sister-in-law, who has only a sixth- or seventh-grade education. The child is also grossly overweight.

My brother is unwilling to stand up to his wife, who threatens suicide. He refuses to talk to his clergyman or to a counselor. What can I do to intervene? I'm worried about those children. -- WORRIED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR WORRIED: I'm concerned, too. Pick up the phone and call Childhelp USA. The toll-free phone number is (800) 422-4453. Childhelp USA believes it is important to create hope for all children who suffer abuse and neglect, and they can put you in touch with services in your own state that can look into this matter.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $10 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)