DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I was deeply hurt yesterday when my son told me outright how he trusts his therapist more than he trusts me to understand and help him through the breakup of his marriage.

The circumstances of his divorce and mine from my first wife are just about identical, so I more than understand what he is going through.

When his mom left me, I doubted I would be able to pull myself together, and I see that same kind of thinking in my son. But he thinks just because I remarried (not until he was in college!) that I have no idea what kind of pain he is feeling.

He and I always used to talk about everything in the past. Six months ago he didn’t even know this therapist. I don’t doubt she is good at what she does, but I am beginning to believe she is the one convincing my son she knows better than his own father.

Whether that is the case or not, she cannot possibly know him better than me, and if he just let me tell him about the ways I found to cope and move forward, he would not only save time and money but he would also get practical life advice from someone who lived through how he feels now.

Father may not know best, but he knows a lot. Why not take advantage of me? --- I CAN HELP

DEAR I CAN HELP: Even if you knew for certain your son’s therapist encouraged him to trust only her, I see little being gained by opening that topic with him.

It’s difficult for a parent to see their child struggling, but right now your son is doing what he believes will help him the most. That doesn’t mean he might not turn to you in the future for your advice.

If he does, then you’ll be able to be more useful to him by putting aside your feelings of being slighted and doing your best to help his hurting heart mend.

You’re living proof that healing happens and so do fresh starts.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My mother was married three times. All but the second husband were real fu#k-ups and cleaned out all the money in their joint bank accounts, most of which belonged to my mom as she was the one who had a job and brought in most of the money we lived on.

I saw how wrecked she was when she couldn’t do anything to get back the lost money, and then had to start all over again. That’s why I swore to myself when I was still a teenager to NEVER have a joint account with ANYONE.

Now that I am married, my husband keeps telling me we need to set up a joint savings and/or checking account. I have no reason to think my husband would ever take my money, but after seeing how things went for my mother, there is no way I’m going to put what I have worked for and saved up for myself in the hands of anyone else, even my husband.

Don’t you think there are loads of reasons to keep my money under just my sole control and then move it around as I need to? --- IT’S MY SAVINGS

DEAR IT’S MY SAVINGS: While I know there are arguments for and against couples having joint accounts, overall, if properly and prudently set up and tapped into, they’re be a useful financial management tool. Look at it as part of the partnership you have with your husband.

I see no reason why you shouldn’t establish a single joint account to be used for situations and purposes affecting you both.

I also don’t see a problem with your each having an account set aside for your individual use. A separate account can come in handy and give you the safe haven you require for your own savings.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: I got home from work to find my husband super excited because the last of the Halloween trick or treating costumes he ordered came in. It was a special order for our two-year-old son. A few months ago he decided we all have to dress up as Trump, as a joke. We are the least Trump people you can find, but he thinks it will be funny since all the costumes are totally over-the-top ironic.

I think he is wrong, and people will think we are big Trump supporters or possibly worse, that some of his true supporters will get that we’re knocking him and things will get ugly.

We live in a neighborhood with all kinds of political yard signs all over the place, so someone will take our costumes the wrong way.

Why can’t my husband see what a dumb idea this is, no matter how many times I tell him? --- SO STUBBORN

DEAR SO STUBBORN: We’ve had a few trick or treating Trumps in our neighborhood in the past, so I’d bet your family will likely not be the only ones out, especially in an election year. That may be your husband’s thinking as well.

I believe you’re right however, about people having a range of reactions to a family of Donald Trumps walking down their street. But unless you have reason to believe some of your neighbors would get upset enough to pose a real threat, my guess is most people will take it in the light of their choice and simply see a family having fun on a holiday not meant to be taken too seriously.

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