DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I was out shopping when I got the urge to use the washroom. When I got there, the line was out the door. There was about a 10-minute wait.

As I finally neared the stall, the woman ahead of me in line began to bounce. I could empathize. But right before a stall became available, a woman in a wheelchair rolled in and parked next to us. (Of course, the handicap stall was the next one available.)

The person ahead of me began to walk forward, but the woman in the wheelchair became loud and belligerent about being handicapped, and claimed the stall. The woman in front of me and I just looked at each other -- and then she deferred to the individual in the wheelchair.

Please set me straight, Abby. Should a handicapped individual take precedence over a stall when the washroom line is long? -- MORALLY CONFUSED IN JOLIET, ILL.

DEAR CONFUSED: I'm overjoyed to set you straight. Handicapped stalls are set aside for people with disabilities to use because their wheelchairs will not fit into a regular stall. Without question, the person with the physical disability should have access to it first. Absolutely!

DEAR ABBY: Back in 1975, I was given a fabulous gift -- a bottle of Elvis Presley wine. His picture is on the bottle, and it says, "Always, Elvis -- Gold Record Edition Collector's Series I." It also says Frontenac Blanc D'Oro White Wine -- Product and Vineyards of Italy, imported by International Wine Co., Detroit, Mich.

It has never been opened, but I see the wine slowly evaporating. Do you think anyone would be interested in this bottle? -- DELORES IN HUDSON, FLA.

DEAR DELORES: I took your question to a cellar master/sommelier, who informs me that, because it's evaporating, your bottle of wine may no longer be drinkable -- even if it was stored properly.

However, you might offer the bottle of collector's wine on an auction site because it could interest a collector of Elvis memorabilia. (For example: eBay.) Good luck!

DEAR ABBY: I am 12 and in the eighth grade. I have thought about suicide many times, and earlier pulled out a knife and almost slit my wrists.

If I tell my parents, they won't believe me. They'll think I'm making it up to get attention. If I talk to the school counselor, she'll tell my parents for sure.

I'm afraid of myself when I'm home alone sometimes. Can you please help me? -- AFRAID OF MYSELF, PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR AFRAID: You need more help than anyone can give you in a letter. Preoccupation with suicide is serious and calls for help from a mental health professional.

Because you feel your parents may minimize the seriousness of your suicidal thoughts if you tell them, ask a trusted teacher or school counselor to help you. Perhaps if they hear it from another adult, your parents will treat the news with the seriousness it deserves.

Another option would be to call a crisis hotline when you are tempted to injure yourself. Just pick up the phone and ask the operator to connect you. I wish you luck and a speedy recovery from this illness.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I was so angry after reading the letter about the selfish idiot of a husband who took his mother shopping after his wife's water broke, I had to write. What kind of a spineless wuss is he? His mother should have been told, "My wife and baby are more important than a shopping trip."

As a nurse, I know that after the water breaks, the mom needs to get to the hospital. It's dangerous for her not to. Mother should be sent home and not invited back. She put both mom and baby in danger, and as a mother she should know that. I can't believe a grown woman would be so selfish and manipulative. I hope for their sakes she lives far away. Thanks for letting me vent. -- UPSET IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR UPSET: That's what I'm here for. You're not alone in your sentiments. The responses to that letter were vehement. Read on:

FROM WARRENVILLE, OHIO: The amniotic sac is the only protection an unborn child has from germs, viruses, etc. Even if the woman is not experiencing labor pains, when the water breaks, she should immediately go to the hospital. It was child abuse for "Dana's" husband to delay medical treatment so he could take his mother to the video store. His claim that his wife should have "insisted" is like saying, "You should have stopped me from beating you." He's blaming his wife for his own bad behavior.

FROM COLUMBIA, S.C.: That man is so into his mother I can't figure out how the pregnancy took place. That man needs a spinning drop-kick to the head. What kind of lunatic would act that way? No one wants to raise a child alone, but it would have served him right if his wife had called a cab, gotten herself to the hospital, and had him served with divorce papers right in the delivery room. And he's blaming her for not being assertive enough? You were too easy on him.

FROM FORT BRAGG, N.C.: That letter brought back memories. After we had our second child, my mother-in-law, "Dixie," talked my husband into leaving me alone with our 2-year-old so they could take a two-day trip to visit his brother. I was invited, too, but having had a C-section less than three days before, I wasn't ready for a three-hour car ride. I was in tears when my mother arrived a few hours later.

A few weeks before the birth of our third child, I informed my husband that if he left me again, our marriage was over. He assured me his mother wouldn't ask. Sure enough, a couple of days later, she did. (This time he told her no.)

I was able to make my point clearly to her a few years later. Dixie had a hysterectomy. When I visited her in the hospital, I invited her to accompany me to my brother-in-law's house three hours away. She wasn't amused, but she got the point.

FROM FORT WORTH, TEXAS: A man who would leave his wife home alone while she's in labor so Mommy can go on a shopping spree does not deserve to be called a man. I can tell you right now, my wife would divorce me over that one!

FROM RICHMOND, VA.: I'm one of your male readers. The first thing the wife should have done when she awoke was hit her husband over the head with a bedpan. Better yet, tell me where he lives and I'LL do it. I have a feeling that new mom now has two children to raise.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 53-year-old man who, thanks to child abuse from his stepfather, is very confused and hurt today because of what he did. I don't know whether I am gay or straight. (I have several children.)

I never said anything about the sexual abuse he put me through because my mother was a violent person, and she needed him so much I knew she'd never believe me. The abuse didn't stop with just him. My three stepbrothers abused me as well.

My real brother shot and killed himself at age 35 because of my abusive mother and stepfather. I have two sisters who have nothing to do with me because of "rumors" about my past and present. I now have a great doctor, and hope to soon find a good therapist.

My question to you is, am I gay because I didn't fight back and tell my stepfather no? -- SCARRED IN NEW YORK

DEAR SCARRED: When an adult, particularly a parent, abuses a child, it is NEVER the child's fault. An adult is an authority figure and physically more powerful. Not fighting back was your way of surviving the sexual assaults; it does not mean that you are homosexual. A therapist will help you to understand this, and I hope you find one soon.

DEAR ABBY: My son "Bill" will graduate from college in a few weeks. His mother and I divorced when Bill was 10. Part of our divorce agreement was that we -- his mother and I -- would pay for Bill's college education. I paid 60 percent; she paid 40 percent.

I have since remarried, and my current wife thinks that a graduation gift is not necessary because my son will be graduating from college debt-free. She thinks that paying for Bill's college education is enough of a "gift." Part of me understands that concept, yet another part of me thinks that my son deserves some sort of a gift. I was thinking of a monetary gift -- in the $500 to $1,000 range. What do you think I should do? -- CURIOUS DAD IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CURIOUS DAD: Unless she's earning the money that's being given, your current wife should keep her thoughts on this subject to herself. Write a check for whatever amount you wish, and enclose it in a loving letter to your son telling him how proud you are of him and that you love him.

DEAR ABBY: I am very confused right now. When I was 15, I was raped and became pregnant. My father made me give the baby away. Ever since, I have always wanted to know how she was doing and where she was. (I am now 21.)

Recently, my grandmother told me that my daughter is fine and that she lives close by. I was never told because they were afraid I'd want her back and it wasn't possible. Abby, I am very upset that they have never told me where my child was or that the couple who adopted her didn't mind me coming to visit or spend time with her.

I told my boyfriend what happened. He accepts that I have a daughter. Do you think I have a right to be angry because my family didn't disclose my child's whereabouts because they thought it was "better" that I didn't know? -- CONFUSED IN CAMBRIDGE

DEAR CONFUSED: Your feelings are justified, and you have a right to them. However, I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive your parents for what they did. You were a minor, and they may have been trying to spare you some pain.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)