DEAR ABBY: My name is "Johnny." I am 18 and currently incarcerated. I was locked up last March and won't be out for another five months. I'm facing a terrible problem when I get out and I need your help.

I have a girlfriend, "Brianna," who I love with all my heart and will do anything for. We have been together since I was 14. She has been with me through everything. She's now pregnant with my baby. Her cousin and her best friend are also pregnant. They all know each other is pregnant, but the cousin and friend haven't told Brianna that I'm the father. She has been asking questions, but they tell her they're "not sure." They insist that it's my place to tell her.

My mother secretly pays for each of the girls' doctor visits and everything they need, but she says she can't keep sneaking around doing this.

It's killing me knowing I'll have to hurt my girlfriend. I don't want her to leave me because I love her, and she has both of my cars, my motorcycle and the house I bought. I'm afraid she will destroy them when she finds out. I'm so worried I can't sleep. Please tell me what to do. -- JOHNNY-IN-A-SPOT

DEAR JOHNNY: As I see it, you have three choices: ask to join a witness protection program, beg for an extended sentence -- or start acting like a man and take responsibility for your actions. Count on your girlfriend being upset when you tell her. That's a normal reaction to finding out the person she loved and trusted cheated on her with two other women -- her best friend and her cousin.

While you're talking, suggest that she do nothing rash, because you may have to sell the cars, the motorcycle and the house to live up to your financial obligations to all three of your children.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of three children. I'm having a problem with my 4-year-old child, "Josh," who has an attitude problem.

Josh beats up on his two siblings. When his little sister plays with him, he often hits and kicks her. When she gets up and walks away, he starts screaming her name -- then walks over and hits and kicks her some more. When his big brother comes home from school, Josh starts beating on him, too. He's just a mean kid.

I have tried everything I know to steer him away from this kind of bullying. I have put him in time-out, during which he screams at the top of his lungs and then proceeds to get up and start trying to hit ME. I have spanked him, for which he has also hit me. (He was spanked again.) I have taken away things he likes to play with, his allowance, his TV time, and I have grounded him. None of it seems to work.

I have told his father when he comes home from work, but he doesn't believe me. Any advice you can offer would be appreciated because I've reached the end of my rope. -- MOTHER AT THE END IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOTHER: Because you have done everything you can do to discourage your son's violent behavior, it's time to take him to his pediatrician for a medical evaluation. If everything checks out, ask for a referral to a child psychologist. Do it now, before he's big enough to seriously hurt someone.

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DEAR ABBY: My parents divorced when I was 5, after my father was sent to prison on drug charges. He was released a couple of years ago. When we were little, Mom never talked about him. She never told us what he did that landed him in jail. After his release, my sister and I didn't want to see him.

Eventually, I met a wonderful guy I'll call "Mike." Mike's aunt is a loving woman and we have a warm relationship. Then she met and fell in love with my father.

Now that I have spent time with them, I have heard the whole story. Mom was my father's partner in dealing the drugs. My father didn't implicate her in any of the charges because he wanted her free to raise me and my sisters. I was shocked, because Mom never told us any of this.

My mother refuses to be anywhere near my father, or at any gathering where he is present. Because of this, Mike and I have postponed having a wedding, baptizing our son or giving him a first birthday party. My father doesn't understand why, since he and Mom are both remarried, she can't just move on with her life.

We want our son to enjoy both of his grandparents. I have considered holding these events and inviting both of them, and letting them know I want both of them to be part of my life. Please tell me what to do. -- IN THE MIDDLE IN INDIANA

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: The first thing you should do is have a talk with your mother and tell her exactly what your father told you. She may not want to be around him because she doesn't want to face her past, or he may have abused her -- but give her a chance to explain.

You should not put your life on hold trying to please your parents. You are all adults now. So have your wedding, baptize your son and celebrate his special events. If they can't be in the same room together, then invite them to alternate events.

DEAR ABBY: I am about to be divorced from an alcoholic. At the time I filed, he said he would get his own place and move the furniture he wanted out of my home. (Some of it is hand-me-downs from his family.)

Now that things are in the final stages, he still hasn't saved any money and shows no sign of getting a place of his own. He's staying with friends and has very limited space.

According to the divorce agreement, we have settled all property disputes, and whatever each has in his or her possession belongs to him or her. I have a lot of his possessions -- mostly furniture.

I don't want or need this stuff. He still says he wants some of it and expects me to hold it indefinitely. I am ready to move on with my life, and can't do it in a house filled with all of his belongings. I have tried to be nice and have been repaid with alcoholic rampages. What should I do about his belongings? -- TRYING TO MOVE ON IN FLORIDA

DEAR TRYING TO MOVE ON: Discuss this with your lawyer. Have your lawyer contact his lawyer, and give him a date after which the furniture must be out of your house. Make it plain that if it isn't out, it will either be donated to charity or put in storage under his name and at his expense.

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DEAR ABBY: My wife spends all her spare time with a female friend I'll call "Cassandra." Last August they went to Nicaragua for two weeks, at Cassandra's expense. They are planning a trip to Puerto Rico next month. Again, Cassandra is footing the bill. They spent a week together in Louisville at a church-sponsored activity. They give each other oil massages in our bed and make frequent bets with each other with the massages as the payoff.

They spend as much as three hours a day communicating, whether it be via phone, e-mail or text-messaging. They see each other a minimum of once a week, plus at church, and we live 50 miles apart.

When they're together, I can repeat a question four times or more and never be acknowledged. They make special dinners and buy each other gifts. The items my wife receives are many times what we can afford. When they're on the phone or e-mailing, dinners have been burned and normal things that should be done around the house don't get done.

Do you think there is something I should be concerned about here? -- WONDERING IN ILLINOIS

DEAR WONDERING: Yes, I do, because you do not appear to be first on your wife's list of priorities. You and she -- and probably her girlfriend -- are overdue for a long and very frank talk.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I expect our first child in three months. His mother is already pressuring us to let her baby-sit, and eventually have the child for summers and vacations. The problem is, her negligence and poor judgment while raising her own children led to them both being physically and sexually abused. She continues to be friendly with anyone who will be friendly with her, including the family members who abused her children.

There is no way I'll ever let her be alone with my child. My husband supports my feelings. But we don't know how to tell her that her services are not needed or wanted without causing hurt feelings. -- SETTING LIMITS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR SETTING LIMITS: When she asks to baby-sit, tell her nicely that you already have made other arrangements. Ditto for extended vacations. Explain that she's welcome to visit when it's convenient for all of you. However, if she insists on knowing why she can't take the baby, repeat exactly what you have told me. Your child's safety is more important than your mother-in-law maintaining the fantasy that her children's upbringing was normal.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for three years. His 27-year-old daughter, "Jan," wants him to give her a wedding reception because at the time she was married, two years ago, they were not on speaking terms. (She was married by a justice of the peace with no family present.)

Jan now has two small children. I think at this late date, a wedding reception would not be appropriate. I have suggested we give her a generous cash gift as a belated wedding gift -- and she can do what she wants with the money, including throwing herself a party. My husband dreams of giving her the memories of a reception with her dad. What do you think? -- AGAINST IT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR AGAINST IT: Considering that Jan was not even speaking to her father at the time of her marriage, it's presumptuous of her to be hitting her father up for a reception now. A cash gift would be more generous; and a "wedding reception" under these circumstances would be a charade.

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