DEAR ABBY: My wife and I would appreciate your help with the following question: I am driving on the interstate; my wife is sitting next to me in the front passenger seat with her seatbelt on. We are doing 70 miles per hour and there is some traffic around us. Suddenly I collapse over the steering wheel. What should my wife do, and in the proper order? -- EDGAR IN SPRINGFIELD, MO.

DEAR EDGAR: What a great question. I checked with the California Highway Patrol, and here's your answer:

1. Lean the driver back.

2. Take control of the steering wheel.

3. Hit the turn signal.

4. Passenger should keep her seatbelt fastened so that she is secure in the vehicle and begin merging to the right, making sure the driver's foot is off the accelerator.

5. Bring the vehicle to a stop on the shoulder.

6. Use a cell phone to call 911 and seek help for the driver.

I would like to add that while doing all of the above, it couldn't hurt to start praying.

DEAR ABBY: My wife insists on baking chocolate chip cookies as a "thank you" for an older couple next door who have been very nice to us -– giving gifts to our 2-year-old daughter and generally being great neighbors. The husband is overweight and diabetic.

I say it's insensitive -– even cruel -– to give food like that to someone we assume is trying –- or should be trying –- to stay away from it. I say we should just send a thank-you note instead. My wife insists it's the "thought" that counts, and that they sometimes entertain grandkids who can eat them, or they can give the cookies away if they don't want them. This question has come up before with other overweight people to whom we've owed a thank-you. So who's right? -- QUESTIONING THE GESTURE

DEAR QUESTIONING: You are. While I agree with your wife that it's the thought that counts, the gift she's giving reflects no thought at all. In fact, it could be considered diet sabotage.

A more suitable gift might be a book, CD or a lovely plant. But if she's determined that it be something from her kitchen, she should pick up one of the American Diabetes Association cookbooks and use it to prepare something that her neighbors can both enjoy. (And because diabetes can run in families, that would include the grandkids, too.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl. I frequently ride my bike for long distances, sometimes alone and often out on country roads. I know it's dangerous for anyone -– especially a teenage girl -– to be alone, particularly out in the country where no one could see me if I was in trouble. Do you have any safety tips for me? -- CURIOUS IN KENDALLVILLE, IND.

DEAR CURIOUS: I can offer several. First, be sure to tell your parents you are leaving for a ride, where you plan to go, and what time you plan to be back. Always carry a cell phone if they work in your area. And, whenever possible, ride with a bike buddy. There is safety in numbers.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 34-year-old single mother of three. After several bad relationships, I decided that one day the right guy would come along and I would just "know," and until then, I'd focus on making my children as happy as I could by myself.

A few months ago, I met "Mr. Right." The feeling I have for him is one that I haven't felt before, and he feels the same way about me.

The problem: Mr. Right is my baby sitter "April's" boyfriend. They have been together on and off about a year. April is very controlling. She starts arguments with him and then doesn't come around for a while. Mr. Right is tired of it. It happened again last night, and he told her to just stay home. He wants some stability in his life and someone to love and grow old with. So do I.

The hard part of this is I really like my baby sitter. Many people don't, but April has never done anything to hurt me. I know the right thing to do would be to tell her how I feel, but people tell me April holds grudges, and I'm afraid she'll hate me. If I must choose between April and Mr. Right, I want to choose Mr. Right. If you have any suggestions that will make this easier, I'm all ears. -- TORN IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TORN: I sure do. The first is, SLOW DOWN. If you want stability in your life and someone to love and grow old with, recognize that getting to know someone takes time.

Mr. Right appears to have quite a bit of unfinished business before he will be free to start a relationship with you. First on his list –- not yours –- should be to officially end his romance with your baby sitter. That way, if there are any hard feelings, they will be directed at him, not you. And unless he's mature enough, and sure enough about his feelings for you to do it, then I have some sad news for you. He's not "Mr. Right"; he's "Mr. Wrong" again.

DEAR ABBY: We moved into a very quiet neighborhood a year ago. Then our neighbor, a divorced father of a 3-year-old boy, reconciled with his wife and they moved back in.

When the father had visitation we allowed our son to go over there once while my husband and I got some chores done. Nothing bad happened. However, now that the boy -– who is the same age as our son -– is a full-time resident, we have become aware of some not-nice behavior on his part. He has tried to get our son to eat dog doo-doo, and has told our boy to be mean to our dogs, which of course, our son would never do.

He is always looking through our chain link fence and teasing our son. I get a bad vibe from him.

We are people who don't like conflict. Is there anything you can suggest so that we can go out into our back yard and again enjoy the peace and quiet we once did before the boy was a full-time fixture? We love our house, but we will move if we must. -- DISGUSTED IN DES MOINES

DEAR DISGUSTED: It would not be creating conflict to pay a call on the mother of that child and ask if she's aware of the way her son is acting with your boy, and give her chapter and verse. If she doesn't talk to the child and discourage his behavior, consider landscaping your property to guarantee some privacy. Only as a last resort should you move.

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DEAR ABBY: Please tell me how to respond to people who sit at a table with me (in my home, theirs or out) and make comments about being full, eating just "because it's there," or "for the flavor" -- and continue to eat? All of my family members are overweight. I am the smallest by far at a size 8. They engage in this often, and it distresses me.

I don't want to jump up from the table, clear away the dishes and tell them to stop eating, but I also don't enjoy hearing them talk about how much they shouldn't be eating while they continue to do so.

Most of them have been advised more than once by physicians to lose weight for the sake of their health. Other than bringing food to share that's low in sugar and fat, is there a way to politely deal with this bizarre behavior? -- FED UP IN HOUSTON

DEAR FED UP: No, there isn't. But you can save your sanity by recognizing idle chatter for what it is and tuning it out. In your own home, you can simply serve less food -- or clear away the tempting leftovers and relocate your guests away from the table. However, in a restaurant or in their homes that wouldn't work. So accept that your relatives won't address their weight problems until they are ready to do so, and try to be less judgmental.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Zack" for a year and a half. We had discussed taking a trip to visit his friends in a couple of months. I'm a very independent person, but recently have had some financial difficulties that I anticipate will be temporary. I explained to Zack that I wouldn't be able to afford the trip. It would have meant paying for my plane ticket, half the cost of the car we'd have to rent and half the hotel bill.

Zack has a steady job that pays very well. I thought he would speak up and offer to pay for at least some part of my expense for the trip, but he didn't. Was I expecting too much, or is he just plain cheap? -- DISAPPOINTED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: It would have been a generous offer, but it appears your boyfriend isn't the generous type. In a sense, however, he may have given you a priceless gift: a glimpse of what life would be like with him in the future if the chips were down. Please act accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl. I love my mom, but she doesn't trust me. Sometimes I would like to talk to her but she never listens. It's like she wants me to mess up so she can punish me.

I once tried to talk to her about sex. She thought I was pregnant! Am I wrong for just wanting to know? Sometimes I don't do anything wrong and I still get in trouble.

I have thought about running away, but this is where my heart is. Is it me? Why won't she trust me? I make good grades. -- BAFFLED IN BIRMINGHAM

DEAR BAFFLED: Your letter made me sad. By now, your mother should have made it clear that you could bring any question to her and she would answer it -- or help you find the answer you need.

Your mother may be uncomfortable talking about sex, or she could be under stress about something else in her life. Please ask an adult friend or close relative to speak to her on your behalf. Your mother may be hard on you because she doesn't want you to mess up. Children don't come with a list of instructions, and she may be going overboard trying to protect you.

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