DEAR READERS: In the wake of hurricanes Katrina and Rita, and projections from the National Weather Service indicating that there are more to come, it is apparent that too many of our citizens are at a loss about how to prepare for a natural disaster.

Wanting to help not only the hurricane survivors, but also to offer information so that ALL of us will be better prepared for potential disasters in the future, I turned to my friends at the Federal Citizen Information Center in Pueblo, Colorado.

True to form, they have come through with an excellent publication from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security: "Preparing Makes Sense. Get Ready Now." It explains how to assemble an emergency supply kit and develop a family plan that can be invaluable in all kinds of emergencies. The booklet is free. It's available in both English and Spanish, and can be ordered by writing to: Preparing Makes Sense, Pueblo, Colo. 81009, or by calling toll-free: 1-888-878-3256 Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. ET.

For survivors of the hurricanes, and for those individuals who want to help with the recovery effort, one of the best online sources is � HYPERLINK "http://www.FirstGov.gov" ��www.FirstGov.gov�. This Web site has links to help locate loved ones, register online for government assistance, replace your vital personal documents, locate state and local services, as well as volunteer opportunities.

Because scam artists are always quick to take advantage of those in need as well as those who want to help, � HYPERLINK "http://www.FirstGov.gov" ��www.FirstGov.gov� offers sound advice for avoiding frauds and schemes, and making sure the charity that you donate to is reputable. (Free copies of "Preparing Makes Sense" can also be ordered online at FirstGov.gov.)

While my prayer is that our country will be spared future disasters, my goal today is to encourage you to send for this free publication and to further protect yourselves and your loved ones by using the resources at � HYPERLINK "http://www.FirstGov.gov" ��www.FirstGov.gov�. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: At a friend's wedding last weekend, my best friend's husband propositioned me. He said if I ever wanted "something on the side" to give him a call. I was floored. I had always considered him to be a creep, but never thought he would pull something like that.

I told him it would never happen, but if I ever considered it, it certainly wouldn't be with my best friend's husband. He said that that's why I was the perfect candidate -- because I would never say anything to her.

What should I do? I don't want to tell her and have that be the reason she splits up with her husband, but I think she should know her husband is on the prowl. She has two small children with this loser, and although he seems to be a good father, apparently he's a bad husband. -- APPALLED IN HUNTINGTON BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR APPALLED: Considering the number of sexually transmitted diseases there are that can have serious, lasting health implications, you'd be doing your best friend a favor by speaking up. One way to lead into it would be to ask if her husband had had "a lot to drink" at the wedding, because "this is what he said to me." She should consult her doctor about being checked for STDs -- as well as asking for a referral to a marriage counselor, because her marriage is in trouble.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Boy, did I identify with the letter about the Army wife whose husband is being deployed to Kuwait. My husband of 25 years is in Iraq now. It's a short deployment; however, my reaction to it was unusual for me.

At first, I took it in stride. But as the time approached for him to leave, I became anxious and depressed. I consulted a therapist, whom I'm still seeing. I had similar feelings as the wife's. I was scared out of my mind that my husband would not return and I, too, wanted a divorce. I'm still mystified about my reaction. He has been away before, but never in a place so dangerous. I, too, felt he was choosing the military over me and our kids.

The only thing that helped me when we left him at the airport was the knowledge that he really wanted to do this. I thought, if he gets killed, at least he will have died doing what he wanted. -- ALICE IN SOMERDALE, N.J.

DEAR ALICE: That letter struck a chord with many military (and former military) wives. All of them had something important to contribute. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: What that military wife needs to know is that her reaction to her husband's deployment is not uncommon. She is going through the anger/detachment withdrawal stages -- anger at the military and at her spouse for being in the military. It is common to withdraw and/or argue just prior to deployment since it can be easier to be angry than to confront the pain and loss of departure. She's not the first military spouse to have these feelings.

These hardships can seem easier to handle if the family knows they are not alone. The wife should connect with her husband's unit's Family Readiness Group to get helpful information about deployment resources and accurate information about his unit. It really does help to connect with other spouses who are going through what she's going through. If there is no one nearby, she can connect online through � HYPERLINK "http://www.cinchouse.com" ��www.cinchouse.com�.

Another resource she should be aware of is � HYPERLINK "http://www.militaryonesource.com" ��www.militaryonesource.com� (or 1-800-342-9647), where she can get answers to her questions and help 24/7. (This can include six confidential counseling sessions with therapists outside the military system.) -- KATHIE HIGHTOWER, TACOMA, WASH.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband went to Vietnam for a year, the first thing I did was get a part-time job to keep me busy. I wrote him every day and sent tapes twice a week. Many times, we would leave the recorder running so he could feel like a part of the family when we discussed various "happenings" in the kids' and my day. I taped the kids' concerts and sent them with the comment, "If I have to sit through this, so do you!" All the guys got a kick out of it, and he was the envy of all.

If she feels she needs a support group, she should contact other wives whose husbands are overseas. They can comfort each other. Also, instead of looking for people to help her, she should volunteer to help others less fortunate. She doesn't need a therapist as much as she needs a LIFE. -- VENETA L., GREAT FALLS, MT.

DEAR ABBY: Instead of distancing herself, that wife needs to talk about her fears to her husband. If she does, she may be surprised to learn that they both fear the same thing.

Many times we don't want to do things, but do them we must. I agree with you, Abby; the woman should continue counseling. -- BARBARA IN PORTSMOUTH, VA.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old female who competes in triathlons for fun, fitness and health. I consulted my doctor because I was having foot pain. When I told him I was a runner and was preparing for a marathon race, his response was, "At your age, you could hardly call it a race."

I was shocked. I repeated the insulting comment to my husband, who has never supported me in this nor attended my races. He replied, "Well, you don't actually consider yourself an athlete, do you?"

I am so offended that I want to dismiss both my doctor and my husband. I just finished a race with 5,000 women. Every one of them was fabulous and serious, no matter how old or what they looked like. It was the spirit of the sport that mattered. At what age does one stop being an athlete? -- OLDER ATHLETE, EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR OLDER ATHLETE: When one becomes a couch potato -- perhaps like your husband. According to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary (11th Edition), an athlete is "a person who is trained or skilled in exercise, sports, or games requiring physical strength, agility or stamina." And whether your husband chooses to acknowledge it or not is beside the point.

As for your doctor, I'd say his attempt at humor was demeaning, and he should practice his profession only if he's wearing a muzzle. I wouldn't blame you if you "laugh" your way to another doctor who practices preventive medicine by encouraging, and supporting, his patients' fitness regimens.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 18 years -- 13 of them unhappily. We have three teenage children. I have filed for divorce twice, but allowed my husband to talk me out of it both times -- "for the sake of the kids" and his own emotional health. He has panic attacks and is verbally and emotionally abusive.

I want this divorce more than I want to breathe. I feel I deserve some happiness, too. Please help me. I have been to counseling. My counselor agrees that I need to do this for me, but my husband will use every kind of emotional blackmail at his disposal. Any advice you can give will be greatly appreciated. -- MISERABLE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISERABLE: You have paid good money to a licensed professional counselor, and have been told that for the sake of your own emotional well-being you need to move on. Don't you think it's time to follow through on the advice you paid for?

If you decide to move forward, I urge you to continue with counseling during the divorce process. It will help to guilt-proof you and your children from what you know will follow. A divorce may be best for everyone concerned -- including your husband, once he eventually realizes it.

DEAR ABBY: My son, a rodeo cowboy, wants to know the proper etiquette for a groom wearing a cowboy hat during the wedding ceremony. The ceremony will take place next July in a small Methodist church in Kansas. He really wants to wear his cowboy hat. Can he? -- SUZIE IN SMACKOVER, ARK.

DEAR SUZIE: Hats have become a standard part of many men's wardrobes in recent years, and the rules for wearing them have become less rigid. According to "Emily Post's Etiquette" (17th Edition), "hats can be left on ... at religious services, as required." However, your son should check with the clergyperson who will be officiating at the ceremony, just to be sure it's acceptable in his or her church.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)