DEAR ABBY: My son-in-law insists on walking around naked after his shower. He claims that he's hot and must let his hemorrhoids air-dry. Abby, this man has four children, three of whom are girls ages 9, 7 and 4. My daughter has done everything from plead to scream to get him to stop this habit, yet he still emerges from the bathroom with the announcement, "Turn your heads, girls, I'm naked!"

What more can my daughter do to get him to understand how potentially dangerous this is? -- DISGUSTED IN JAMESON, MO.

DEAR DISGUSTED: I discussed your letter with Dr. Stephen Kuchenbecker, a respected colorectal surgeon in Los Angeles. He informs me that while hemorrhoid sufferers are advised not to rub that tender area of the body, they are encouraged to gently "pat" dry or even use a hand-held hair dryer to be sure the hemorrhoids are free of moisture.

It is not appropriate for your son-in-law to parade around in front of the girls. My suggested aversion therapy: The next time he makes his grand entrance, your daughter and the girls should point at his lower midsection and start laughing. If that proves ineffective, she should buy a long extension cord for her hair dryer, and warn her spouse that if he doesn't dry his hemorrhoids, then she will. I'm sure he'll get the message.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20 and have never had a boyfriend. All of my girlfriends and guy friends have told me that I'm attractive.

My dating history is zero because every chance I've had to date someone, I turned him down for absurd reasons. Either his hair was the wrong style, or I decided I didn't like the way he walked, or the way he laughed, etc.

There is a guy at school who is interested in starting a relationship with me. He's a nice guy, and I think I might be interested as well. But I get sick to my stomach when I think about it.

People tell me I have intimacy problems. I don't want to ruin this, Abby. Please tell me how to be better. -- WEEPING IN W.VA.

DEAR WEEPING: You do appear to have some issues that need to be examined. The quickest way to work them through is to go to the student health center at your school and talk to a counselor about them. Once you are free of your anxieties, you'll be more emotionally available to those who show an interest.

DEAR ABBY: A letter appeared in today's Houston Chronicle in which the writer asked the origin of the term "Pandora's box." You gave the right answer, but not the entire answer.

Yes, the box was a gift to Pandora from the gods, but was given with the warning that it should never be opened. (Some gift! A box she couldn't open -- who could refrain?) When Pandora's curiosity got the better of her, she lifted the lid and released every ailment, sorrow and pestilence known to mankind, so she slammed the box shut. But after all the swarm of evils, one last thing remained inside -- and its little voice begged Pandora to lift the lid once more and free it. When she did, she released the most important item in the box. It was HOPE. -- KATE R., HOUSTON

DEAR KATE: Thank you for telling the whole story, which I had forgotten. How fitting that your letter comes from Houston, a city which has in recent weeks offered so much hope to so many people who needed it.

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DEAR ABBY: Thank you for the safety tips you offered to "Curious in Indiana," who bikes alone. As a female cyclist and mother of a biking daughter, I agree that telling her parents her riding plan (or leaving a descriptive note), and carrying a cell phone are good measures. In addition, she should dress like a boy! Leave the cute little tops for when she's riding with a large group, and instead, wear a bright, high-visibility T-shirt or jersey that can catch a motorist's eye but doesn't shout "female!" from half a mile away.

"Curious" should also be constantly aware of her surroundings. This assumes no headphones, and means she'll know what vehicles are approaching from front and rear and who is in them. She should be ready if a dog runs out, and know if a storm is imminent. A family password is also a good idea, so no stranger can impersonate a "caring messenger" and get too close. -- HAPPY TRAILWINDS IN WISCONSIN

DEAR HAPPY: Thank you! I received a slew of letters and e-mails from readers eager to offer additional safety tips to that girl. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You forgot one very important tip. Wear a bike helmet! If she fell and hit her head on one of those lonely country roads, it could mean the difference between life and death. -- AVID BICYCLIST IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR ABBY: Your suggestions were good, but it might also be wise for that girl to carry Mace or pepper spray for protection if it can be used legally in her state. -- KATHLEEN IN TITUSVILLE, PA.

DEAR ABBY: Please remind every bike rider to wear reflective clothing, and ensure that their bike has front and back lights. Most important, they need to observe the rules of the road. A bike is just like a car and needs to stop at lights and signs. It will help that 13-year-old ensure her own safety. -- WALTER J., SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA

DEAR ABBY: "Curious in Indiana" should check to see if there are any bicycle groups nearby. It's a great way to find like-minded teens and instant friends.

In the '70s, as a bike leader for the American Youth Hostels, I was trained in first aid and bike repair -- both of which I used on the long-distance trips I led. (That was in the days before cell phones.) As a mom today, I'd prefer that my daughter was not alone on the road. -- DR. J., KALAMAZOO, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: She should be sure to carry water, as well as some form of ID when she rides. It should include her name, her city or town, home phone number or the number where her parents can be reached, her blood type, and any allergies or medical conditions. (The information can be worn around her neck, engraved on a bracelet or attached to her shoe.) -- MELODY IN IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: That cyclist should make sure she knows how to change her own flat tire, and carry all the tools necessary to do so every time she rides. (She should always check to be sure the glue in her patch kit hasn't dried out.) The more she can learn about "out-there repair," the less chance she'll have of being stranded somewhere she'd rather not be. -- FELLOW CYCLIST, LEMONT, PA.

DEAR ABBY: My son, who is the same age, rides his bike and hikes in an area where cell phones are not reliable. We gave him a walkie-talkie with a seven-mile radius, and it's much cheaper than a cell phone. -- COUNTRY MOM, STEVENS POINT, WIS.

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DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of four children, ages 18 to 25. A "practice" they discuss among their friends is the "rite of turning 21," which is to drink 21 shots of hard alcohol.

I'd like to think my children are intelligent and informed enough to know how dangerous this could be, but when I mention it, I get the standby, "Everyone does it" or "It's fine."

I worry myself sick over this, not only for my own kids, but for all young adults. Please shed some light on this practice. Perhaps they will listen to you.

I'm not naive enough to think they won't drink, but 21 shots is not the best birthday gift to themselves. -- WORRIED MOM, MISSOULA, MONT.

DEAR WORRIED MOM: Your children are mistaken. Binge drinking isn't "fine" and not everybody does it. Rapid consumption of alcohol, particularly in large amounts, is extremely dangerous. It has been known to cause severe illness, coma and even death.

This is a topic that has appeared in my column before, in the form of letters from concerned members of the health-care profession and from grieving parents. The rite of passage that your children are discussing can be a "passage" right out of this life and into the next. Only a fool or someone very immature would take that kind of risk.

DEAR ABBY: I have been living with "Angelo" for six years. His dog passed away in May. Frankly, I was relieved because the dog had been the main focus in Angelo's life and the cause of many problems and fights. I had considered leaving him over it, but didn't want to give up on the relationship.

After the dog's death, things got much better. Angelo and I started going places without the constant "... have to get home to the dog."

He started talking about getting another dog, but I told him I was against it. Well, some members of Angelo's family and some of his friends urged him to get another one. They said I'd grow to love it. Last month he took them up on it. He is now entirely focused on the new dog, and I feel betrayed. I told Angelo it was either me or the dog, but the dog is still here. What should I do? -- BETRAYED IN WESTCHESTER, PA.

DEAR BETRAYED: Now that you know how little Angelo respects your feelings, you should move. When you told him it was you or the dog, and he got one anyway, he gave you your answer.

DEAR ABBY: I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. He is my best friend and lover. He is also a dwarf. My problem concerns how to deal with the public.

When we are out, people make comments and faces. I am aware of it, but I'm not sure my husband is. When I catch people staring, I give them a dirty look. How should I handle this? I am considered attractive, and people who don't know us well ask why I am with this wonderful man. -- OFFENDED IN ORLANDO

DEAR OFFENDED: Your husband is probably aware of the stares, but has grown used to them by now. If someone is so rude as to question you about why you married him, be truthful. Say: "I don't measure my men from the top down; I measure them from the eyebrows up. And when you get to know my husband, I'm sure you'll also appreciate what a wonderful person he is."

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