DEAR READERS: As promised, today I'm printing my own tried-and-true list of how to meet a potential mate. (Because some of my suggestions have already been offered by others, I'm abbreviating this list.) Read on:

Simply put, decent people are found where decent people gather. You will never meet anyone sitting at home, so get out of the house and become involved. Enroll in an adult education class, take a class in auto mechanics, welding, computer training, sailing, navigation, golf.

Volunteer your services. There are plenty of under-privileged, disabled, elderly and teens who could use a friend. Get involved with your church or a civic organization. Join a political party and volunteer to help at a polling station. (You'll meet everyone in your district!) Join a professional organization -- Rotary, Chamber of Commerce, manufacturing organization or any organization having to do with your profession.

Take dancing lessons -- square dancing, line dancing, ballroom or salsa. Take up fishing or hiking, join a gym or health club. Do some entertaining and ask your friends to bring along a friend. If you have children, join Parents Without Partners.

You may not meet "The One" right away, but you'll make new friends -- and one of them may have a friend who's perfect for you.

DEAR ABBY: A former friend I'll call "June" was the cause of many important relationship breakups in my life -- one of which is mended now. We hadn't spoken for years.

About seven years ago, June was hired at the place where I have worked for the past 12 years. She now tries to find and make up excuses to converse with me, both in and out of work. I ignore her. I am not mean or rude; however, I have complained to our supervisors that I don't want anything other than work-related issues to do with June. They have notified her of my complaints, and she is getting the hint.

Outside of work is another story. I "forgave" June many years ago, but I still do not wish to have her as a friend or acquaintance. Please tell me how to get rid of her. I have considered a restraining order, but she hasn't done anything threatening. -- BEING STALKED IN KOKOMO

DEAR BEING STALKED: The next time June approaches you outside of work, if you haven't already done so, tell her exactly what you have told me. If that doesn't do the trick, change your routine -- the places or the hours that you shop, go for exercise, etc. If the woman still pursues you, then do inform the police that you are being stalked by someone who appears to be unbalanced, because that may be what the woman is, and get it on record.

DEAR ABBY: I was sitting with a friend today, and we began talking about the rising gas prices. After a few minutes she said, "Why don't Americans do what they do in Europe?"

I asked her what that was, and she told me that Europeans take a regular day off from driving -- which not only saves gas but also brings families closer together. What an excellent idea for people here in the United States.

I think it is a simple solution to a growing problem and could make a huge difference. Do you think this is possible? -- JIM H., NAPLES, FLA.

DEAR JIM H.: I certainly do. When people are determined enough, anything is possible. We may not be able to control gas prices, but we can decide how we want to spend our money. For those who need to economize, walking, riding bicycles, ride-sharing and public transportation are sensible solutions.

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DEAR READERS: As promised, I'm continuing yesterday's topic about finding Mr. (or Ms.) Right. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I would like to offer some suggestions to the successful career woman who asked if she and her friends should "dumb themselves down" in order to find a man:

When people let frustration and pouting get the best of them, they give off a bad vibe that no one finds attractive. She needs to continue with her success. She should get out of the house, do things she enjoys, go to parties, parks, sporting events, church, art classes, wine tastings -- whatever! Mr. Right won't magically show up on her doorstep, and she'll be happier in the meantime doing what makes her happy.

It's OK to talk with friends and co-workers about her single status. Do they know she's available and open for suggestions and blind dates? The person she meets may not be Mr. Right, but he may have a friend who could be. Has she tried online dating sites? There's one for just about everyone.

Instead of looking for "Mr. Perfect," look for "Mr. Perfect-for-YOU." Make a list of the qualities that you can't live without and then stick to it. And, last but not least, she should list all the great qualities she has to offer, and post it where she can see it every day. If she keeps reminding herself that she is a catch, she'll get caught! -- HAVE FAITH, COLUMBIA, S.C.

DEAR HAVE FAITH: Your comments are terrific, and I hope the woman who wrote me (and others!) take them to heart. That so many people identified with that letter and reached out is heartwarming. Thanks for wanting to help. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: In my area of about 150,000 people, there's a shortage of women. Many single, successful straight men find it hard to thrive amidst all the noise, pollution and crime of a big city.

Look at the statistics -- the new exurbia is where to find a lot of single engineers, scientists, financial and insurance executives. I know smart women who have moved here just to meet men and have promptly gotten married. (And if they absolutely, positively want to be married, they should consider moving to Alaska!) -- STEVE IN RICHLAND, WASH.

DEAR STEVE: It would certainly be worth an exploratory vacation trip to find out.

DEAR ABBY: Instead of bemoaning their situation, those women should revel in it as I did. I moved my career forward, took up off-road cycling, traveled the world, took classes, went to plays -- you name it. I married for the first time at 36. But I'm glad I can look back at my single years with so many fond memories of the adventures I had. And if Mr. Right never comes along, she may be too busy to notice. -- BEEN THERE IN WISCONSIN

DEAR ABBY: She needs to "broaden her customer base." Someone from a completely different background might be less likely to be threatened by her success in her field. The bonus is twofold. She'll meet a whole new crowd and discover new interests. Nothing is more attractive than a person enjoying herself. -- TRENT IN CATHEDRAL CITY, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: Smart women who have trouble finding men for relationships should join Mensa. Mensa members come from every demographic and have one thing in common: They are in the top 2 percent of the population intelligence-wise. -- HELPFUL READER IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR HELPFUL: Good suggestion. Not everyone finds love in Mensa, but it's a wonderful way to meet other people who value intelligence in both men and women. To learn more about Mensa, log on to www.mensa.org or www.us.mensa.org.

Tomorrow, I'll reprint my own handy-dandy suggestions for meeting eligible people.

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DEAR READERS: A successful, single career woman wrote me recently wondering if she should "curtail (her) professional success, financial wherewithal and IQ" in order to land a husband. She asked, on behalf of herself and her unmarried friends, "how to find true happiness while being true to themselves." Fascinating mail from readers poured in. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: This is MY reaction to that woman's comment about taking a job as an "administrator" so that she won't appear to be so smart. I assume by "administrator" she means the administrative assistant positions that are vital to the smooth running of almost every business and organization.

Perhaps her elitist attitude is what's causing her to be single, and not her job or financial status. Please inform "Miss Thing" that not only are most successful assistants highly intelligent, but many of us know something she doesn't -- how to deal with people! Some of us went to college just like she did, but ended up in administrative positions through downsizing, necessity -- or maybe some of us really like our jobs.

You were right to advise her not to step down the ladder in the corporate world. With her superior attitude, she'd never make it "down here at the bottom." -- ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT WITH AN MBA

DEAR ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT: I understand why you might have been offended by the writer's comment, but please understand that people experiencing a painful life crisis aren't always politically correct.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 30-something male in the same situation. I remember a former psychology professor giving us a lecture that addressed this issue. He said people are often lonely not because nobody loves them, but because they don't love or recognize the ones who DO. He gave an example of a woman who complained that she was lonely and without prospects. Her mentor said, "What about Jim, the checker at the grocery store? He wants to date you." She dismissed it with, "... but he works in a grocery store."

I'm a college-educated professional, also unattached and sometimes lonely. I sometimes remember the nice women who might have been interested in me years ago, but whom I didn't consider because "she was just a waitress," "wasn't a college graduate," "was divorced," etc. I would urge the writer and her friends to ask themselves if they truly are without prospects. -- GEOFF IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR ABBY: I'll bet you $50 those women all go out in a crowd. There is nothing more intimidating than trying to ask for a date when the woman is at a table full of her girlfriends. Few males are confident enough to subject themselves to the typical withering judgment of a clique.

Smart women, if they are truly smart, understand that they need to make themselves accessible! -- J.S., DANVILLE, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: Successful single women with high IQs might scrutinize their criteria for "Mr. Right." Must he have a "certain income," perfect looks, the right connections? Can he have children, a limp, a bald head, be poorer than she is? Are they looking for love without judgment, as they would wish to be evaluated?

Regardless of their achieved status, they must realize that what's on the inside means more. Do they wear contacts, makeup, padded bra, color their hair? They do?

Life isn't "Sex and the City" or any other media-produced 60-minute "life." You can't put yourself on your own pedestal. I found love -- twice -- with "country boys" who ended up having more smarts and giving me more love than I ever hoped for.

If those women stop looking, love will find them when they least expect it. -- BETSY IN PLANO, TEXAS

READERS: More on this subject tomorrow.

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