DEAR ABBY: The letter from "Worried Friend" prompted me to write. She said her friend "Anne" was in her 40s and still vainly trying to get her mother's approval and love. I, too, allowed my mother to dominate my thoughts and my life. She never approved of who I am. Although I have four successful adult children and have had a successful 28-year career as an educator, nothing I did was ever good enough for Mother.

It took me years to realize that nothing I can do will ever bring her happiness. She didn't find it in her life. But I refuse to let her take away the joy I find in mine.

Anne has more than served her time as a loving daughter. Now it's time for her to live. Love is all around us, and if our mothers cannot provide it, we must seek it elsewhere. -- LOVING, BUT DETACHED, IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR LOVING BUT DETACHED: I agree, but no amount of "telling" that to Anne will free her from her mother's control until she reaches a point where she's ready to hear it. All of the letters I received on this subject echo your sentiments. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My mother is like the one described in "Worried Friend's" letter. When I was 56, I finally acknowledged that Mom's criticism and loathing of me increased proportionately with my efforts to make her happy.

We are now estranged. She lives with my only sibling, a sister, who is furious with me for no longer maintaining the status quo. After the break I struggled with depression, sought psychotherapy and was prescribed anti-depressant medication. Now, a year and a half later, I am healthier emotionally and physically than I have ever been. My life is now based on what is best for me, my husband and my son, who have always loved me for who I am.

I wish Anne the strength and resolve to change, because her mother never will. -- STANDING TALL, SURPRISE, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: My heart goes out to Anne. I, too, wanted my mother's approval and never got it. After Mother died, without realizing what I was doing, I tried seeking approval from my sister -- who was just like our mother. Finally, I realized I will never get approval from her, either.

Because of this long-time-coming realization, I now have peace of mind. Each day is happier because I approve of myself. I have started doing all the things I wanted and needed to do that make me happy.

Please tell Anne's friend to help her to love and approve of herself. It's what saved me. -- HAPPY AT LAST IN UTAH

DEAR ABBY: I had a friend like Anne, whose mother made her life miserable by withholding love and approval. It nearly drove her crazy, until one day her mother died. Anne was 50 by then and had been a doormat all that time for her mother, her daughter, her son and their spouses.

Out of the blue she called me and said she was moving to New Mexico and starting her life over. She and her husband sold their house, packed their van and their dogs, and went to live in a completely new place. I hear from her every few months. While life has had its ups and downs, she's happier than she has ever been in her whole life. I hope Anne's friend doesn't give up on her; she may just be waiting to be set free. -- LAURIE IN PENNSYLVANIA

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing the same dentist for more than 20 years and have been very satisfied. During an earlier checkup, I had been told I had a loose tooth, "but it could tighten up again." I checked the tooth the morning of my most recent visit, and it was fine.

After cleaning my teeth, the hygienist, "Sue," was polishing my teeth when the tool slipped and the metal part hit the "loose" tooth really hard. Sue said, "Oh, sorry!"

When "Dr. Smith" came in for the final check, he said I had a cracked tooth. It was the same tooth. I had not seen a crack that morning, but thought I'd check it again when I got home. There is a big crack across the front of the tooth. If it had been there that morning, I'd have seen it.

I am sure the "hit" cracked the tooth. Only Sue and I know for sure, and I wouldn't know if it hadn't been for the fact that I'd been watching it because it was loose.

Should I talk to Sue or to Dr. Smith or to both of them about this? Should I just get the tooth fixed and forget it? Or should I start hunting for a new dentist? -- DENTAL DILEMMA IN DENVER

DEAR DILEMMA: When Dr. Smith told you your tooth was cracked, you should have spoken up then and asked to see it while you were still in his office. However, because you did not, it's time to call Dr. Smith and tell him what you have told me. I am sure he will want to talk to his hygienist about what happened. (Actually, she should have already informed him.) If the cracked tooth was caused by his employee, it should be fixed without charge. And if it isn't, THEN you should start looking for another dentist.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother of a 1-year-old child. My son's father started using drugs during my pregnancy and still does. I left him when my son was only 3 months old. Our breakup was bitter. He calls my house and curses me out for no reason. I have never done anything wrong to him. He pays no child support because he doesn't work.

I think I need therapy. I don't think I'm emotionally strong enough to be in a relationship with anyone else, and I need to talk about what's going on with me. I blame myself for getting involved with my son's father. I thought he was a nice, trustworthy guy. How could I know that he'd choose drugs over taking care of his child? -- STRESSED-OUT SINGLE MOM, ALEXANDRIA, VA.

DEAR STRESSED-OUT: You are asking intelligent questions. That you are looking for answers before you become emotionally involved again is laudable.

You can find low-cost mental health services by contacting your county Department of Social Services or the Department of Mental Health. The number(s) should be listed in your telephone directory.

P.S. In the meantime, please be a little kinder to yourself and change your phone number. No rule of etiquette says you have to listen to the drug-fueled ravings of an addict.

DEAR ABBY: I know that a GED is equivalent to a high school degree; however, is it misleading to indicate -- on a resume, for example -- that you graduated from high school when you obtained a GED after the fact? -- WONDERING IN KEARNS, UTAH

DEAR WONDERING: Not only is it misleading, it would be a mistake. Many businesses these days do background checks on job applicants, and when it turns out that an applicant lied on his or her resume, they are rejected. Honesty is the best policy.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: In America today, there are 20.8 million people living with diabetes. Because there are often no symptoms, nearly one-third of them -- 6.2 million of those people -- don't even know they have diabetes and won't find out until one of its devastating complications develops. An additional 41 million people are at risk for developing type 2 diabetes.

The good news is that diabetes and its complications can be prevented or delayed, but awareness is vital.

Left untreated, the complications of diabetes include heart disease, stroke, kidney disease, blindness and amputation. But they are not inevitable. Early diagnosis and treatment are crucial to preventing or delaying these complications.

Please help us to spread the word to the millions of Americans who are living with this disease and don't know it, or who are at risk. Thanks for sharing this information with your readers, Abby. It can help to improve the lives of millions of Americans who might already have diabetes and not know it, and prevent the disease in millions more. -- ROBERT A. RIZZA, M.D., AMERICAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION

DEAR DR. RIZZA: I'm pleased to pass the word along. I had a conversation recently with David Boyer, M.D., a respected retinal specialist here in Los Angeles, in which he confided that one of the most difficult things he has to do in his practice is to inform a patient that his or her eyesight cannot be restored, and that the cause was previously undiagnosed diabetes.

Today, March 28, is the American Diabetes Association's 18th Annual Diabetes Alert Day. Readers, go to � HYPERLINK "http://www.diabetes.org/risk-test" ��www.diabetes.org/risk-test� to take the ADA's online assessment, or call toll-free (800) 342-2383 for more information. Do it for yourselves, for your family and for me.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a junior in high school, starting to seriously consider and contrast colleges. I live in a Chicago suburb and I love city life.

The University of Illinois at Chicago seems like a reasonable option for me. However, I have fallen in love with the University of Tampa in Florida.

There are so many factors to consider that I feel like crying when thinking about choosing between these schools. I enjoy trying new things, and I think I'd like Tampa. My family doesn't have a lot of money, so visits home would be limited to Christmas and possibly spring break. At UIC I would only have a 20-minute train ride to get home. I could do that every day if I wanted to.

My mom worries that I'll get homesick, and so do I. Is it better to stay with the comfortable, or try to expand my horizons -- even if there's a possibility I might hate it? Please give me your opinion. -- NICKY IN ITASCA, ILL.

DEAR NICKY: If your only reason for staying home is the fear that you "might" be homesick, then I think you should gather up your courage and leap from the nest. That's how fledglings learn to fly. It takes courage to leave the familiar and strike out on your own, but it's a great part of growing up.

However, there may be more things to take into consideration than you mentioned in your letter. Do you have the grades to get into both of these schools? And can the finances be managed? These should also be factors in your decision.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)