DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to your reply to the gal in her 20s who looks like she's 14 or 15. Will makeup help her with her problem? Maybe. But it won't make her look older. There are some women who will always look young. I'm 41 and look like I'm in my early 30s, and could pass for my 20s if I dressed the part.

Tell her to relax and enjoy her youthful look. It may seem like a problem right now, but when she's in her 40s and her counterparts are starting to show their age, she will still have young guys flirting with her because they think she's in their age bracket. She won't have to wear makeup to cover the wrinkles, and people will tell her she never ages. What a compliment! -- WENDY IN GODFREY, ILL.

DEAR WENDY: I'm sure the young woman will be grateful for your pep talk. You might be interested in reading what other youthful-appearing readers offered on the subject:

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle when I read "No Longer a Freshman's" letter. Your advice was right on, although some people address others as "Sweetie," or "Dearie" as a term of endearment. I certainly take it that way. Regardless of my accomplishments in life and respect from everyone with whom I have come in contact all these years, it's nice to know that part of me exudes a "sweetness," while still being the strong, confident woman I am. -- FOREVER A SWEETIE, LUDLOW, MASS.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in my mid-30s and still get carded for X-rated movies, so I can relate to the problem. My advice:

Don't waste your money on hairstylists or makeup. The hair won't change her looks, and makeup is designed to emphasize them. Trust me; I tried for a dozen years. (I avoid pigtails, though.) At work, avoid greetings like "Hi" and "Hello" and introduce yourself with your title and last name. (Example: "Good afternoon, I'm Ms. Doe. How may I help you?")

At social events, introduce yourself by your first and last names. (Example: "I'm Jane Doe. Pleased to meet you.") Mind your mannerisms. Stand up straight, look people in the eye, give a firm handshake and enunciate when you speak. If it's not someone you'll be dealing with regularly, or professionally, ignore the person's comments. It's not worth your time. And if all else fails, look the person straight in the eye, flash a brilliant smile and say, "You do realize I am ( ) years old?" -- REBECCA IN LOVELAND, COLO.

DEAR ABBY: You advised that young woman to consult a hairdresser, a makeup artist, and to choose more conservative, no-nonsense business attire in the workplace. An image consultant from the Association of Image Consultants International would be the ideal person to facilitate this woman's quest for success in the business world. Such a consultant can coordinate, guide and recommend the right hairdresser, makeup artist, and the best choice in wardrobe that will enhance the wearer.

The Association of Image Consultants International offers consultants who are trained, experienced and competent in the techniques of personal style. She can find one of these talented professionals by visiting www.aici.org. -- DEBRA LINDQUIST

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Summer will be here soon, a time when many Americans travel abroad. I live in Europe, and Americans seem to think that most of us do not understand English here.

Last summer, I overheard a young lady in a restaurant telling her friends about a portion of her anatomy that I shall not mention in a family newspaper. The entire restaurant went silent while she continued on as if no one else had any idea of what she was talking about. Believe me, everyone knew!

Please remind your readers that if a topic is not appropriate to discuss in public in the United States, then it's not appropriate to discuss in public abroad, either. -- EDITH W. IN SWEDEN

DEAR EDITH: I'm pleased to oblige. You are correct that Americans -- many of whom are not fluent in a foreign language -- tend to forget that people from other countries are often bilingual or trilingual.

Many years ago, I spent a summer studying in Italy and had a similar experience. Trapeze dresses (A-line, loose-fitting) were in style that season, and I was walking down the street wearing one of them when an American family (husband, wife, and a boy about 11) approached strolling in the opposite direction. As we passed, the boy said loudly to his mother, "Look, Mom! That lady's wearing a nightgown."

I thought they were going to go through the pavement when I turned around and said, "Thanks, kid!"

DEAR ABBY: I'm a single mother, newly relocated to a small town, new job and new boyfriend. I have been dating "Kyle" for six months and keep running into the same issue repeatedly.

While Kyle is very successful in business -- he's never been married or had children -- when we are out and the check arrives, if another friend who may be with us or I don't pick up the entire tab, he pays for his portion only. Only a few times has he actually paid for both of us, but never for the rest of the group. Some of our male friends have been embarrassed by this and have taken the check themselves. Instead of stepping up to the plate and insisting on paying for at least some of the dinners, Kyle nonchalantly will ask something to the effect of, "Do I need to put anything in?"

Abby, I'm usually very accepting of people and try not to make too much of things like this, but lately, my friends have been commenting about it and telling me I can do better than Kyle. What do you think? -- EMBARRASSED IN IDAHO

DEAR EMBARRASSED: I think your friends may be right. You could be contemplating a future with a skinflint. The next time Kyle asks that question, you should say, "I'll say! It's your turn to pick up the check!"

DEAR ABBY: I am 13, and all of my friends are talking about their first kisses. I can't join in because I have never been kissed, and I'm afraid that when I do, it will be horrible. Do you have any advice? I read somewhere that you are supposed to write the alphabet with your tongue. Please help me. -- WORRIED WOMAN, TIFFIN, OHIO

DEAR WORRIED WOMAN: What you read was wrong. Girls who are being kissed for the first time just close their eyes and purse their lips. (You can work your way up to writing the alphabet when you are older. Much older.)

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I had an affair with a married man several years ago. It ended, and now I am friends with his wife. I want very much to tell her about the affair because I feel so guilty about it. I see her every day. She has joined the same church I go to, put her kids in the same school as my kids, and we go to all the same parties and have the same friends.

Everyone knows about the affair except her, and I feel uncomfortable every time I talk to her husband or when conversations arise regarding cheating. I know I'll feel more comfortable around her if I get this off my chest. Should I tell her? -- FEELING GUILTY IN SOUTH NEW JERSEY

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I see no reason to make this woman suffer so that you can feel better. If you feel you MUST confess, confess to someone who won't be hurt to hear the news -- such as a clergyman. They've heard just about everything.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell me how to politely inform our friends that their daughter, "Jane," who is 12 and a special-needs child, needs a bra. My wife picks up Jane and our daughter every day after school, and their teacher has asked us to talk to her parents. Jane's parents seem oblivious to the obvious.

Please help, before the situation gets any bigger. -- PERPLEXED DAD IN TEXAS

DEAR PERPLEXED: The person to discuss this with Jane's parents should first be the teacher. If she has already done so and your friends continue to ignore the problem, then your wife should approach Jane's mother and say something -- and perhaps offer to go shopping with them. It's possible that they are in denial about the fact that their "baby" is becoming a woman.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old college student caught in a turmoil of emotion. My parents were divorced two years ago. It left my mother and me on our own. Not long after, to my great joy, my mom was back in the dating world.

I was shocked the night Mom brought one of her dates home to meet me. She later explained that it was time for me to become aware of her new lifestyle. She was now living her life as a lesbian, and I had to accept it.

I immediately moved in with my father and refused to return my mother's phone calls. I miss her, but I can't come to terms with this. What should I do? -- DESPERATE IN DETROIT

DEAR DESPERATE: Judge not, lest ye be judged.

DEAR ABBY: I recently inherited a substantial amount of money from my great-grandmother. I want to start a college fund for my younger cousins.

Here's the problem: My uncle (their father) has two children with his girlfriend, who also has two children from a previous marriage. I want to give the money only to the cousins who are related to me, and announce what I'm planning on my grandparents' anniversary.

My fear is that I will cause a "bad vibe" between my uncle and me since I'm excluding his "stepchildren." How should I handle this? -- LOVING COUSIN IN ORLANDO

DEAR COUSIN: Rather than make a public announcement of your intention at the celebration, I suggest you speak privately to your uncle and tell him what you have in mind. That you want to share your great-grandmother's bequest with those children who are related to her is admirable -- but the offer should be made with delicacy and sensitivity so that it does not cause a rift in your uncle's family.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)