DEAR ABBY: I am the godparent of three children from different families. In the past, I have given each child money designated for his or her college fund, along with appropriate event gifts.

Within the last year, the parents of all three godchildren have disclosed to me that they (the parents) used the children's college funds for "family" use –- such as a down payment on a home, a family vacation or home renovation.

I am hurt and bewildered that my friends could do such a thing and destroy their child's college savings. All three of the children are young, and the parents each said something about "replacing" those funds "someday." Now I no longer feel comfortable giving them money, since I do not wish to fund the next family vacation or new car.

How do I address this tactfully with my friends, especially since my no longer contributing to the college funds will be noticed? Please help. -- ELIZABETH IN MOBILE, ALA.

DEAR ELIZABETH: You say you are hurt and bewildered? I'd be furious that the money I had given for a college fund had been pilfered by parents too immature to understand the blessing of compound interest.

Please don't penalize your godchildren for the bad behavior of their parents. Talk to your banker or financial adviser about establishing your own college funds for them -- funds that can't be touched until they are needed for the purpose for which they are intended. There may even be a tax break for you. And if the parents have the bad taste to bring up the subject, tell them the money will be there, but for now, it's safely out of the way of "temptation."

DEAR ABBY: I am 15. My younger brother, "Mikey," is 7. I enjoy watching a television show that is rated PG-13. My parents didn't mind my watching it until a few weeks ago.

Over the last couple of weeks, Mikey has been coming into my room while I'm watching the show. When I ask him to leave, he throws a fit. He then goes into his room and watches it, thinking no one will find out.

Mikey has been imitating some of the violence on the show, and my parents are blaming me for showing it to him. Now they are threatening to take away my privilege of watching the show. What can I do to convince them that I am not exposing him to the violence? -- DAVID IN LIVERPOOL, N.Y.

DEAR DAVID: You should not be punished for your parents' failure to supervise your brother. If you haven't already done so, tell your parents exactly what you have told me. And while you're at it, suggest that they either activate the parental controls on the television set in your brother's room, or remove it entirely so that he can watch only in the den or family room where his viewing can be monitored.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a mother-in-law who asks that an afghan made by her friend be given back? It was given to my daughter and her husband as a wedding gift three years ago. They just got divorced. Isn't this a bit tacky? -- JUST WONDERING

DEAR WONDERING: When a marriage ends, it is not unusual for the splitting spouses to divide the wedding gifts according to whose "side" they came from. Was it tacky of the former mother-in-law to ask? I don't think so, if the request was made politely. However, once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient -– and possession is nine points of the law.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'll get right to the point. I have fallen in love with my sister's boyfriend and he with me, so he says. We have been lovers from the first moment we realized our feelings for each other were mutual, and have been hiding them from my sister ever since.

"Greg" is not only handsome, but he listens to whatever I say, takes it into thoughtful consideration and gives me honest feedback. I have tried to let him go and found it quite impossible. He is the most precious thing in my life and he has my whole heart.

Since this has been going on, I have become more and more confused about how I should act, what I should say and do. However, my love for Greg grows. I don't want to hurt my sister, but we were never very close to begin with. Is this relationship worth my pain and great love? -- LITTLE SISTER IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR LITTLE SISTER: Let's get right to the point. The man you have fallen in love with lacks integrity. He is your sister's boyfriend, and he's juggling both of you. The longer the sneaking around continues, the greater your chances that it will be discovered. And when it is, it will cause a rift in your family and Greg will head for the hills. My advice to you is to end it NOW.

DEAR ABBY: Often, when I have a dental appointment, it will be scheduled in the late morning -- around 10 or 11. I think it would be terrible manners to eat before going, and have the dentist dig through the food in my teeth.

After the actual cleaning and then following the instruction of waiting before the next meal, it could be as late as 1 p.m. in the afternoon before I get my first meal of the day. Some people have good stamina, I suppose, but it is very hard for me to wait that long.

Have you any suggestions about how not to go hungry and yet not be rude to the dentist? -- CLEAN TEETH, RUMBLING TUMMY

DEAR C.T.R.T.: Enjoy a nourishing breakfast and then thoroughly brush and floss your teeth afterward. If you will be eating out, take along one of those little travel brushes and mini-toothpastes that are sold at markets and drugstores everywhere. That way you won't be hungry, and your dentist won't be grossed out.

DEAR ABBY: The letters you have printed recently about cute comments made by children reminded me of something that happened with my son a while back. My child was a preemie who later developed a condition similar to a hernia. It's common in premature babies.

When he was 3 years old, I took him to a pediatric surgeon to have the condition corrected. (This is when the problem began to manifest itself.) My son was given the typical examination by the doctor for a hernia. At 3, my son stood on the examination table, and, as the doctor examined his testicles, he shouted, "I'm going to tell an adult!"

The doctor looked at me as if I should do something. I told my son, "It's OK, Mommy's here, and this is a doctor examining you, but in any other circumstances, you do exactly what you just did!" The doctor didn't say a word, and I gave myself a silent, "Yes! He understands!"

Kids need to know. -- KAREN IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR KAREN: I agree. And bravo to you for making sure your son understood that important lesson early.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I recently began dating again as a single mother. I met a man I'll call "Mickey" at a singles dance and agreed to meet him at a coffeehouse a few days later because I had decided to date him. However, Mickey followed me home. I saw him pass my house.

A few days later, he showed up at a store where I was shopping, although he doesn't live nearby. I invited him over for dinner, and he showed up again within the week, uninvited, and walked into my house while I was taking a nap! When I confronted him about entering my house uninvited, he said he was "concerned about my welfare." (I have systemic lupus.)

Abby, I dated Mickey a total of four weeks. Since then, he has continuously driven by my house and dropped off presents of books, cards, candy, flowers, etc. I have asked him not to come by uninvited or without calling first, but he just dropped off another book. He appears not to understand that his intrusive behavior is freaking me out. What can I do? Is this considered stalking? He hasn't threatened me, but I'm frightened and wish he'd stop pursuing me. What can I do? -- FREAKED OUT IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR FREAKED OUT: Tell the man plainly that you are not interested in a relationship and you want him to stop dropping by and giving you gifts. If he persists, begin keeping a written record every time it happens and notify the police, because his behavior could be considered stalking. You should also make certain to keep your doors and windows securely locked so you don't have any further unwelcome intrusions. You may also have to screen your calls for a while, and if he calls, do not respond.

DEAR ABBY: I need to know how to handle my mixed-up marriage. My husband is a preacher, and our marriage is falling apart. He cares more for another woman than he does for me. Every time we talk to each other, he always brings her into the conversation. It happens even when he's preaching. All I ever hear is that she helped him with his children when his other wives left him!

I understand that, but that was in the past. All I ever asked of him was to be there for me. Our sex life is terrible. He no longer has anything to do with me.

We have been married only 16 months, and this has gone on for half our marriage. It hurts me because I love him so much. What can I do about this? How can I make him understand? -- HURTING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HURTING: The time has come to stop reacting emotionally and think rationally. Just how many wives has your husband had? And why did they leave him? Could it be that they were treated the same way he is treating you?

Many wives make their husbands "understand" when communication breaks down through marriage counseling, and that's what I recommend for you. I don't know whether your husband still carries a torch for his former child-care provider or if he's actively involved with someone else. But you need more help than anyone can give you in a letter.

DEAR ABBY: I have a family member I love dearly, as does the rest of the family. This person has had an odor problem for many years -- but it is seemingly getting worse. We feel it is not only body odor but also lack of bathing and laundry.

No one in the family wants to be responsible for telling this person about it for fear of hurting this person or making the person upset and resentful. What should we do? -- UNSURE IN MISSOURI

DEAR UNSURE: You must speak to the person. By doing so, you will be helping, not hurting. What would be cruel would be to ignore the problem.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)