DEAR ABBY: When I was younger, I got in trouble with the law and spent a couple of years in prison. Because of my slight build and good looks, I received unwanted attention from several of my fellow inmates. It was very traumatic, and it took years of therapy after I was released to come to terms with what happened to me.

I now have a job that I love, but recently the company hired one of the men who raped me in prison. This is upsetting because he recognized me and gives me this horrible smile every time our paths at work cross. I don't know what to do because I really need this job, and if I were to quit, I wouldn't find one in this area that would pay me half as much as I get now. I can't just up and move because I have to care for my mother, whose health is failing. What can I do? -- MANHANDLED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MANHANDLED: It's a pity your attacker was released from prison, because someone like him belongs behind bars permanently. Obviously, your employer is one who believes in giving convicts a second chance. I think you should tell your boss exactly what you have told me. If I were your employer, I would want to know so that I could either get rid of that employee, or arrange that your paths never cross again.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a college professor. His department wanted the faculty to have Web pages with a "personal" touch, so they ordered each faculty member to have a photograph taken to post on them. If they chose not to display their own pictures, they could post a picture of something they like or that represents their particular field of study.

My husband decided to post a picture of Michelangelo's "David" on his Web page. I just about flipped when I saw it. I asked him why he chose that one, and he had numerous excuses, none of them to my satisfaction.

My husband does not teach anything remotely tied to the "David," Michelangelo, art, Italy, Renaissance history, etc. The closest he comes to it is he teaches summer school in Europe and recruits students for his classes over there. I told him he should be promoting his program, not this.

I am not a prude. I've been to Florence and have seen the statue. It's a fabulous art treasure, and I can see why it's famous. I guess my biggest concern is that my husband might be bisexual, and this is his subconscious way of saying so. He hasn't given me any other reason to believe it, but I can't imagine any other reason why a normal heterosexual man would have this picture "represent" himself. Can you please give me your thoughts on this? -- WORRIED WIFE

DEAR WORRIED: You didn't mention your husband's reasons for posting the picture, so I can't evaluate whether they make sense to me. Because his school had no objection to his selection of artwork, I'd say you are overreacting.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- and so is evil. Michelangelo's "David" represents the ideal of perfection in the male physique. Perhaps your husband chose that image because he wishes that's the way he looked -- or not. Would you have been equally suspicious if a female professor had used a picture of the "Venus de Milo"? Sometimes a picture is only a picture.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing in response to "Polar Opposites," who wondered if she should marry her boyfriend because they are so different. (You told her no.)

My husband and I have been married 12 years and a couple for 15. We are the perfect example of why it can work. If there are two people more different than we are, I have yet to meet them.

My husband is an intellectual with an Ivy League education. I never went to college. His family is small and -- well -- not like mine at all, which is huge and loud. He grew up with no religion; I was raised Catholic. As for the other differences she mentioned, they are small and insignificant.

People don't get along 100 percent of the time, regardless of how alike they are. Marriage is about compromise and respect. As long as you have those things, and open lines of communication, it will work. I love that we're so different. My husband gives me courage when I want to hide. I drag him out to play when he'd rather sit on the couch. We each make up for what the other lacks -- and that's a good thing. -- WROTE THE BOOK ON THAT

DEAR WROTE THE BOOK: I advised the young woman against marriage to her boyfriend because her letter reeked of negativity. Not once did she mention what they have in common or that either of them was willing to work on their relationship, and that does not bode well for a successful future. Readers were divided on the issue. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: The differences between them are crucial, and any one of them is a deal breaker. Fighting for what can only bring heartache is foolish, and I think that young woman should be applauded for her wisdom. I know -- I married an "opposite" and have lived to regret it. -- ALLIE IN PORT HUENEME, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: Opposites are often the best pairs! Her description of their differences sounds exactly like my husband and me, and we just celebrated the 27th anniversary of our first date. (My romantic husband celebrates everything that has to do with us.)

Many people tell us we have the best marriage in St. Louis -- which may or may not be true -- but what we DO have is mutual love and respect, and the desire to work hard on our marriage. You told her she has a negative mind-set. Let me add that in addition to that, she also seems judgmental and superior. Her boyfriend sounds like a winner to me. Do you have his number? We have four daughters! -- LAUREN IN ST. LOUIS

DEAR ABBY: After 25 years of marriage to my polar opposite, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, especially when it comes to having children. "Do not be yoked to an unbeliever." It's a choice she'll regret for the rest of her life! -- GINA IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR ABBY: Yes, "Polar Opposite" may have a negative attitude, but it's probably because she's analyzing her relationship with her boyfriend rationally. Happy marriages require more than mutual attraction and love. Differences in family, beliefs, likes and dislikes all can make or break a marriage.

I think they could make it work, and I found her rationality refreshing. If more people were that informed about the realities in their relationships, there would be fewer divorces. I suspect she has just outgrown this relationship and will be happy to move on. You were right to give her "permission." -- DIANE IN PROVO, UTAH

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: This year, for the first time that I can recall, we did not celebrate Mother's Day at my mom's. She was diagnosed with dementia in January. It has been a difficult time for our family, but we were told to continue to honor Mom's routine as much as possible.

It was my idea to plan a family dinner at my house, including Mom's favorite foods. Remembering that one of her favorite desserts is cheesecake, I decided to make one. I searched through Mom's recipe box, but was unable to find her recipe. (Mom was such a great cook, she probably had it committed to memory.)

A friend finally gave me a recipe from your cookbooklet set, and I decided to use it because it looked easy enough. It was!

Not only did my family love the dessert, but Mom told us the cheesecake was probably the best she's ever made! I thought you'd like to know you were a big part of our celebration this year. Thank you, Abby. I'd also like to order three cookbooklet sets -- one for me and each of my sisters-in-law. Can you please tell me how to order them? -- KATIE'S DAUGHTER IN CLEVELAND

DEAR KATIE'S DAUGHTER: How sweet of you to let me know about your Mother's Day. Although your celebration was a success, I'm sure it was tinged with bittersweet. That you are continuing your mother's traditions warmed my heart.

I'm also pleased that the cheesecake recipe -- which my own mother used for many years when she entertained -- was a hit with your mom and the rest of your family. And I agree, it's a breeze to assemble. (I can do it in less than 15 minutes.)

You can order my recipe book set by sending a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Postage is included in the price.

As a recipe lover, I know you'll find more recipes that will pique your interest, and July 4 -- another holiday that families celebrate together -- is coming up soon. (It's my mother's birthday!)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old woman who has been dating a man I'll call "Paul" for almost a year. I love him and he says he loves me, but sometimes I have a hard time trusting him.

Women call him here at my apartment at 4 a.m. They also leave messages on my answering machine inviting him over for dinner. Paul won't call them back if I am around. He says they're "just friends," but then he tells me he doesn't know how they got my phone number. (It's unlisted.) He swears he hasn't talked to any of them in more than a year.

Am I just being insecure? If so, how does someone deal with these feelings of jealousy? Should I believe him and take the chance of drowning, or get out now and go on with my life without him? -- SINK OR SWIM IN ARKANSAS

DEAR SINK OR SWIM: It appears you have fallen in love with a womanizer who has been giving out your private number. If these women were "just friends," Paul would return the calls while you were present and inform them that he's already involved with someone.

What you call your insecurity and jealousy are your survival instincts trying to warn you that he is not on the level. You won't have to worry about sinking or swimming if you climb out of the water now. I've thrown you a lifeline. Please take it.