DEAR ABBY: I just read the letter from "Edith in Sweden," regarding the American woman who was talking loudly in a restaurant there, thinking no one could understand what she was saying. You commented that Americans need to understand that many people in other countries can understand English. I have had the opposite experience. Foreigners need to understand that sometimes Americans can understand them, too.

My daughter was assigned to NATO security, and while I was visiting her in Italy, the two of us went shopping in a town near Naples. The owner of a pottery shop was talking to a friend as we browsed. My daughter translated the conversation for me, in a whisper. "She's saying she can't stand the Americans and the Brits, and wishes they would leave." The woman then approached us, all smiles, and asked if she could show us something. My blue-eyed, red-haired daughter replied in fluent Italian, "Thank you, but there's nothing in this shop that we could possibly be interested in," and we left. -- AMERICAN MOM, NAPERVILLE, ILL.

DEAR AMERICAN MOM: I don't blame you for leaving -- I couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough, either. The reactions from readers about that letter are amusing and fascinating. Putting a foot in one's mouth appears to be a universal trait. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My son, an 18-year-old college football player of Italian/Irish heritage, was sitting in an airport in Austin, Texas, during a layover. A family from Japan was sitting next to him, complaining about their flight and their food, and finally, that someone nearby smelled bad. My son turned to them and, in perfect Japanese, said, "Yes, something does smell funny." He said they looked at him in shock, got up and literally ran away. He said the same thing your writer did: People shouldn't automatically assume others don't speak their language, even those visiting our country. -- DORIS IN KAILUA, HAWAII

DEAR ABBY: That letter reminded me of an incident in Munich. We were invited to dinner at a nice restaurant by a German friend. Our host, as is customary there, brought along his miniature poodle. As we passed one table, an American woman said loudly to her companions, "I wonder why the Germans always bring their pets to a restaurant?" I leaned over and said, "Probably because they have better manners than some of the people." She was speechless. -- RALPH IN SANTA BARBARA

DEAR ABBY: My mother is from Germany, and I speak German. I vacationed there with my husband, two children, my mother and my in-laws. On the way home, my father-in-law and I went to the flight desk to check in. The woman behind the counter told us our plane had left two hours before! Then, in German, she said to her co-workers that we were stupid Americans, and she'd make us stay another night and take a flight the next day. I replied in German that we were not stupid, and we'd take a flight that day. Her jaw dropped, and her boss came over and ran with us to the next flight. -- CAROL IN PORTLAND, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: Our local paper ran the letter about foreign languages from a woman in Sweden, and your reply, which alluded to "bi-" and "trilingual" people.

If people speak many languages, they are multi-lingual. Three, of course, is trilingual. Two is bilingual. But what would you call a person who speaks only one language? American! -- DAVE IN ST. JOSEPH, MICH.

DEAR DAVE: Not necessarily!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, when our daughter, Stacy, was in the eighth grade, a contest was held at her school to see if they could win one of the flags that had flown over the U.S. Capitol.

Our daughter, who is now grown, won the prize for the best poem. We thought you might like to print it on Flag Day for your readers to enjoy. We think its message is one that is worthwhile. -- STACY'S PROUD PARENTS IN NEW YORK

DEAR PROUD PARENTS: I agree with you. It is not only worthwhile, I found it touching. Readers, this poem was read into the Congressional Record during the second session of the 89th Congress. Read on:

THE FLAG

(By Stacy Frank, Grade 8)

This flag of red and white and blue

May not mean very much to you.

But as for me this banner flies

And with its mighty voice it cries

Out to peoples far and near

To proclaim our freedom here.

A small beginning, I agree,

But like the acorn to the tree.

Thirteen states we had at first,

But as our country grew, our thirst

For land and freedom did not stop.

That land did well; produced a crop

For countries of the world to share

And then they knew our flag was fair.

And underneath this starry wing

Foreign peoples help to sing

The greatest story ever told,

The story of our country bold.

Of its birth into the world

And of its wondrous flag unfurled.

And over the world there ne'er will stand

The flag of any other land

That will mean as much to me

As this flag of liberty.

DEAR ABBY: I am 19, and I'm wondering if you could give me some information. When I was in high school, one of my teachers told us about a little program where we could write to soldiers -- you know, a comforting letter to let them know there are people out here who support them.

I have moved several times since then and no longer have the address. Today I mentioned it to my grandmother, and she remembered that she had recently seen in your column a Web site to write to our servicemen. Do you still have that Web site available? If so, would you please let me have it? I'd very much appreciate it. -- A FRIEND IN NEED, LAKE HAVASU CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR FRIEND IN NEED: I certainly do have it. The Web site your grandmother referred to is OperationDearAbby.net -- and it has been up and running since 2001. If you go there and click on "Send a message," you can send as many messages of support to as many branches of the armed forces as you wish. They will be read by military service members around the globe.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion for "Wondering in Cleveland," whose Aunt Irene goes prowling through drawers during family gatherings. Rather than excluding her from future family get-togethers, how about leaving notes in all the drawers that say something like, "Hello, Aunt Irene. We hope that all our drawers pass your inspection!"

That ought to embarrass her enough to get her to cut it out without having to actually confront her. -- DAUGHTER OF ANOTHER SNOOP IN KENTUCKY

DEAR DAUGHTER: That's a cute idea -- another reader suggested stuffing the medicine chests with marbles. But several people wrote to point out that the woman could have a problem far more serious than bad manners. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You said Aunt Irene was just nosy and should not be invited back if her behavior continued. I suspect that the poor lady may suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Her behavior seems too over-the-top to just be that of a nosy person, and it fits someone who has OCD. If that's the case, what Aunt Irene needs is professional help. -- ANOTHER VIEW, NEWPORT BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: My grandmother is in the late stages of Alzheimer's disease. Before it became obvious to those who weren't aware that she had it, she would often wander away during dinner and other family get-togethers. We would find her in bedrooms or bathrooms. She thought she was in her own home and not intruding on anybody.

"Wondering's" uncle may have seemed embarrassed when approached about the situation because he is not yet ready to divulge some touchy information. I'm offering this as food for thought that may help them in understanding the aunt's strange behavior. Locking the doors to the bedrooms would also be a good solution. -- LAURA IN NEW PORT RICHEY, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: I had the same experience with my mother when my uncle passed away. I took her to the funeral 1,000 miles away. He was her only brother. She became restless and wandered from room to room, opening closets. My aunt was very annoyed and embarrassed by her behavior. I thought her uncharacteristic behavior was caused by grief.

It turned out my mother was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's patients live in a state of confusion. They prowl around trying to find something that makes sense to them. They misplace valuables and look in drawers and closets for them, and they also forget what they are looking for.

Your advice to leave her out of family gatherings and tell her it is because of her behavior would be cruel. If she has Alzheimer's, she has no power of reasoning or logic, and her feelings would be very hurt. I took my mother into my home for the last five years of her life. It was the most difficult task I have ever done, but it was character-building because of the patience I had to learn. Aunt Irene will need a lot of love and understanding if she, too, has this disease -- if that is what it is, and I'm betting she does. -- JAYNE IN WACO, TEXAS

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