DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, after 56 years of marriage, I became a widow. I am only 82. I miss the companionship, but what I miss the most is ballroom dancing. All my friends are widows, or their husbands are too feeble to dance.

I keep house for my divorced son and teenage grandson. I drive my grandson to school in a carpool, take him to the doctor, the dentist, etc. I am blessed with good health and can travel across the country to visit my daughters and other relatives. I play bridge three or four times a week. I am active in my religious community and have many friends of all ages. I love to read, and I'm never bored or lonely.

Abby, what I'm trying to say is: Age is all in the mind. -- YOUNG AT HEART IN ARIZONA

DEAR YOUNG AT HEART: I agree with you. With your attitude you will never be "old" or lonely.

As to missing ballroom dancing, check your Yellow Pages for dancing schools and sign up for some classes. I knew a lady who went dancing well into her 90s. When she attended events, she would take one (or two!) dancing instructors with her. Where there's a will, there's a way.

DEAR ABBY: Both of my siblings and I are in our mid-20s. After years of fighting, bickering and unhappiness, my parents have finally separated for good. My mother has moved in with her cousin.

My problem is my mother is perpetually depressed. This has been going on for years. In addition, she has become more and more reclusive. Her life has become her job, her cat and occasional outings with her cousin, my siblings or me. We have tried repeatedly to get Mom into counseling or involved in any sort of social organization to no avail. Mother is only in her mid-50s and dislikes anything involving "seniors."

Abby, please help. Can you suggest some place or organization to which my mother can turn for help? -- WIT'S END IN WILMINGTON

DEAR WIT'S END: Chronic depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The good news is that, in most cases, it is treatable. Your mother should see a physician for a thorough checkup, and if possible, you should accompany her and explain how restricted her life has become.

DEAR ABBY: I met an interesting, caring, loving man four weeks ago. He is 23 and I am 28. We are very attracted to each other. We have already become intimate, and we have decided to date exclusively.

I realize our relationship has moved awfully fast, and it may not be the smartest thing I have ever done. My problem is, he never wants to go anywhere. He prefers to sit at his home or mine, watch TV, have sex or not -- and he's completely satisfied with that.

I, on the other hand, am a go-getter. I love to be taken out and shown a good time, go dancing, go to the gym, to the movies, the theater and restaurants. I have discussed my unhappiness with him, but he thinks I'm overreacting. Is this a warning sign? What do you think? -- FAST LOVE IN TEXAS

DEAR FAST LOVE: I think you have jumped the gun. Your boyfriend's passivity is a warning sign. Before you forego dating others, you need to know him a lot better. If there are major disparities now in your view of what makes a good time, consider the adjustments you will both have to make if you get really serious.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last week I hit my husband. My daughter saw me do it. My parents were violent when they were drunk, and I swore I would never do that, but it happened.

Abby, can my children forget my mistakes, or are they doomed to keep repeating this violence from generation to generation? Can it stop here if I get proper help? How do I prevent my children from following in my -- and my parents' -- footsteps in this regard? -- SORRY MOM IN CANADA

DEAR SORRY MOM: Your children are not "doomed." They can learn better ways to manage their anger, and so can you. Tell your daughter you were wrong to hit her father, and you regret it. Explain that you are going to see a counselor and learn more appropriate ways to deal with your anger and frustration, and that you'll share what you learn with her and your other children.

Make an appointment with a therapist as soon as possible, and locate the nearest chapter of Adult Children of Alcoholics. (They are in your phone book.) ACA is a 12-step group of people who grew up much as you did. They can help you understand the dynamics of your behavior and assist you in overcoming your learned reaction to problems.

If there's no listing in your telephone directory, write: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Services Organization, P.O. Box 3216, Torrance, CA 90510 for the location of the nearest chapter. You may also go to its Web site: � HYPERLINK "http://www.adultchildren.org" ��www.adultchildren.org�.

My compliments to you for acknowledging your problem and seeking assistance. You are two-thirds of the way toward resolving it.

DEAR ABBY: Honesty pays. I received a call today from a gentleman who had picked up a large cardboard box that I had left at the recycling center.

When he removed the Styrofoam "peanuts" to pack his merchandise, he discovered a large summer sausage from a well-known company. Instead of playing "finders keepers" and enjoying the sausage himself, he took the trouble to look at our address on the packing label and find our telephone number in the directory.

How fortunate for him that he was so ethical! The sausage had been a Christmas gift from 2004, which we had overlooked when we unpacked the box. It sat in a storage area, unrefrigerated, for a year when we decided to recycle. Had he munched on that morsel, he would surely have gotten his "just desserts."

Instead, he received a nice chocolate fudge cake from us as a reward for his courtesy. -- OVERHASTY RECYCLER IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR OVERHASTY: Yes, honesty pays. And the man received a sweet payoff for his virtue. Thank you for relating a morality tale we should all digest.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "SHOULD I CONTINUE OR QUIT?": The answer to your question will be found in this profound statement that originated with Sir Winston Churchill: "To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour." Enroll at your earliest opportunity and complete the preparation to fulfill your dreams.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My niece is stationed with the Air Force and she never writes to me. My mom hears from her at least once a week, and when I ask about "Nicole," she says, "Oh, she doesn't say much."

Well, the other day, I happened to talk to my niece's stepdad, and he told me that Nicole got married two months ago to some guy who's a jerk, and that he has been deployed to Iraq. My mother knew all about it and never told me! That really ticks me off.

Mom has always been that way -- sometimes out and out lying about things. She's also the stingiest person I know. I think this is the last straw. Do you think I should stop speaking to her?

We were never close. She has always preferred my sister and brother over me and made it quite clear that she did. I'm a middle-aged woman, but I still smart when I think of the way she has treated me. Don't suggest therapy, because I am in therapy. -- FURIOUS IN KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR FURIOUS: Try to calm down. If you were not notified about the wedding, it may not have been an occasion that your niece and her parents were "celebrating." It may also not last -- which is why your mother may have wanted to keep it quiet.

You are in therapy; your anger at your mother is something that you should be discussing with your therapist. And because your mother has always treated you as someone "less than" your siblings, perhaps it would be better for you both if you took a break from her for a while -- at least until you and your therapist figure out what it is you really need to say to her.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 33, have a great job, a good head on my shoulders, and I am in love. My boyfriend of a year and a half, "Steve," just told me he loves me and wants me in his life –- but he does not want children.

Abby, two weeks after we met, I told Steve that within the next five years I wanted marriage and a child. He said if things went well, he saw no problem with it. Steve was unemployed for a year, but he recently found a new job and his prospects look good. He still suffers a bit from depression related to the unemployment, but he's always treated me like gold.

My birthday was two weeks ago, and I was somewhat depressed about it. A week later, he hit me with this. I realized we'd reached an impasse, and because I thought I was being rejected, I said goodbye to Steve the next day. He was dumbfounded that I left, and it's killing us both. I appreciate his honesty, but I really want a child before I am 40. Not having a child would tear me apart when I'm older.

Steve is still calling, wanting to work it out, but he isn't relenting on his stance. I refuse to see him until he changes his mind. He did offer, "Let's try it for six months and see if I change my mind," but that's just postponing the inevitable. I love Steve with all my heart. What should I do? -- LET DOWN IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR LET DOWN: Talk to Steve and see if he can explain the reason for his hard-line stance regarding children. It may have something to do with his long period of unemployment, which can shake the confidence of anyone, regardless of gender.

If he is afraid he can't live up to the financial responsibility of parenthood, it's possible the two of you could reach some agreement because you are not financially dependent on him. If it's something else, counseling might resolve the problem. However, if it doesn't, you and he will know you did everything you could to try to work things out, and you can go your separate ways with fewer regrets.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)