DEAR ABBY: Please tell me if I'm going crazy. My husband of 30 years recently admitted that he enjoys wearing my undergarments! At first I was shocked, but now I am over it. We went shopping together and bought him several pairs of panties and a couple of nightgowns. He was in seventh heaven.

Our sex life has never been better and we really are enjoying each other -- but still I wonder. -- MIXED UP IN FLORIDA

DEAR MIXED UP: You are not the first wife who has helped her husband cross-dress, and you won't be the last. He is a transvestite -- someone who enjoys wearing clothing that is traditionally worn by the opposite sex. Because your sex life has "never been better" and you are "really enjoying each other," my advice is to stop "wondering" and appreciate that after 30 years of marriage your husband finally trusted you enough to show you who he really is.

DEAR ABBY: My 6-year-old grandson, "Andy," was "Daddy's boy" before his father and my daughter divorced. Now "Andrew" (the father) refuses to see Andy or even call him by name. I asked Andy if he misses his daddy a lot, and he nodded yes. It's overwhelmingly sad.

Distance isn't the problem. It's that Andrew has remarried and has a new son. Andy was named after his father; his new brother was given the same name!

I don't understand why Andrew is so cruelly punishing the boy. Andy has questions about the father he loves that we can't answer, and a brother he has never seen.

I hope Andrew will change his mind. He wants no contact with Andy or our side of the family, but I hope the rest of the family will stay in touch with the boy. My grandson needs all of his relatives even more now that his father chooses to be out of his life.

Abby, please print this so Andrew's family will know they are wanted and needed, not to take sides or to judge, but to love a child who is theirs, too. -- CONCERNED GRANDMA

DEAR CONCERNED GRANDMA: Your former son-in-law's actions are very revealing. They illustrate how shallow his commitment was to his firstborn child. In case your former in-laws miss seeing this letter, call them and tell them exactly what you've told me.

If the paternal grandparents choose not to continue their relationship with Andy, you and your daughter should seriously consider enlisting a male relative from your side of the family to spend some time with the boy.

If that's not possible, consider Big Brothers, an organization that provides caring volunteers willing to become mentors and give of their time and friendship. To contact a chapter near you, write: Big Brothers Big Sisters of America, 230 N. 13th St., Philadelphia, PA 19107; or visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.BBBS.org" ��www.BBBS.org�.

DEAR ABBY: I am thinking about trying something unusual, and I would like your opinion. I am a divorced mother of two who is fortunate to have an excellent relationship with my ex-husband and his wife. We all believe that the children come first.

For many reasons, I believe the best arrangement may be for all of us to live together. I have found a house with a lovely remodeled basement with a separate entrance. I could live there, and my ex and his wife could have the upstairs. We would not have to venture into each other's space unless invited, but the children would have easy access to all of us.

Obviously, there are details to work out, but we think we are all mature enough to handle them. Have you ever heard of this working? -- L.C. IN MISSOURI

DEAR L.C.: No, I haven't. What you're contemplating would require an unusual degree of maturity and civility, but that doesn't mean it can't be done. However, I can't help but wonder what might happen if you brought another man into the equation. Would everyone be as comfortable then?

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, after 56 years of marriage, I became a widow. I am only 82. I miss the companionship, but what I miss the most is ballroom dancing. All my friends are widows, or their husbands are too feeble to dance.

I keep house for my divorced son and teenage grandson. I drive my grandson to school in a carpool, take him to the doctor, the dentist, etc. I am blessed with good health and can travel across the country to visit my daughters and other relatives. I play bridge three or four times a week. I am active in my religious community and have many friends of all ages. I love to read, and I'm never bored or lonely.

Abby, what I'm trying to say is: Age is all in the mind. -- YOUNG AT HEART IN ARIZONA

DEAR YOUNG AT HEART: I agree with you. With your attitude you will never be "old" or lonely.

As to missing ballroom dancing, check your Yellow Pages for dancing schools and sign up for some classes. I knew a lady who went dancing well into her 90s. When she attended events, she would take one (or two!) dancing instructors with her. Where there's a will, there's a way.

DEAR ABBY: Both of my siblings and I are in our mid-20s. After years of fighting, bickering and unhappiness, my parents have finally separated for good. My mother has moved in with her cousin.

My problem is my mother is perpetually depressed. This has been going on for years. In addition, she has become more and more reclusive. Her life has become her job, her cat and occasional outings with her cousin, my siblings or me. We have tried repeatedly to get Mom into counseling or involved in any sort of social organization to no avail. Mother is only in her mid-50s and dislikes anything involving "seniors."

Abby, please help. Can you suggest some place or organization to which my mother can turn for help? -- WIT'S END IN WILMINGTON

DEAR WIT'S END: Chronic depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. The good news is that, in most cases, it is treatable. Your mother should see a physician for a thorough checkup, and if possible, you should accompany her and explain how restricted her life has become.

DEAR ABBY: I met an interesting, caring, loving man four weeks ago. He is 23 and I am 28. We are very attracted to each other. We have already become intimate, and we have decided to date exclusively.

I realize our relationship has moved awfully fast, and it may not be the smartest thing I have ever done. My problem is, he never wants to go anywhere. He prefers to sit at his home or mine, watch TV, have sex or not -- and he's completely satisfied with that.

I, on the other hand, am a go-getter. I love to be taken out and shown a good time, go dancing, go to the gym, to the movies, the theater and restaurants. I have discussed my unhappiness with him, but he thinks I'm overreacting. Is this a warning sign? What do you think? -- FAST LOVE IN TEXAS

DEAR FAST LOVE: I think you have jumped the gun. Your boyfriend's passivity is a warning sign. Before you forego dating others, you need to know him a lot better. If there are major disparities now in your view of what makes a good time, consider the adjustments you will both have to make if you get really serious.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Last week I hit my husband. My daughter saw me do it. My parents were violent when they were drunk, and I swore I would never do that, but it happened.

Abby, can my children forget my mistakes, or are they doomed to keep repeating this violence from generation to generation? Can it stop here if I get proper help? How do I prevent my children from following in my -- and my parents' -- footsteps in this regard? -- SORRY MOM IN CANADA

DEAR SORRY MOM: Your children are not "doomed." They can learn better ways to manage their anger, and so can you. Tell your daughter you were wrong to hit her father, and you regret it. Explain that you are going to see a counselor and learn more appropriate ways to deal with your anger and frustration, and that you'll share what you learn with her and your other children.

Make an appointment with a therapist as soon as possible, and locate the nearest chapter of Adult Children of Alcoholics. (They are in your phone book.) ACA is a 12-step group of people who grew up much as you did. They can help you understand the dynamics of your behavior and assist you in overcoming your learned reaction to problems.

If there's no listing in your telephone directory, write: Adult Children of Alcoholics World Services Organization, P.O. Box 3216, Torrance, CA 90510 for the location of the nearest chapter. You may also go to its Web site: � HYPERLINK "http://www.adultchildren.org" ��www.adultchildren.org�.

My compliments to you for acknowledging your problem and seeking assistance. You are two-thirds of the way toward resolving it.

DEAR ABBY: Honesty pays. I received a call today from a gentleman who had picked up a large cardboard box that I had left at the recycling center.

When he removed the Styrofoam "peanuts" to pack his merchandise, he discovered a large summer sausage from a well-known company. Instead of playing "finders keepers" and enjoying the sausage himself, he took the trouble to look at our address on the packing label and find our telephone number in the directory.

How fortunate for him that he was so ethical! The sausage had been a Christmas gift from 2004, which we had overlooked when we unpacked the box. It sat in a storage area, unrefrigerated, for a year when we decided to recycle. Had he munched on that morsel, he would surely have gotten his "just desserts."

Instead, he received a nice chocolate fudge cake from us as a reward for his courtesy. -- OVERHASTY RECYCLER IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR OVERHASTY: Yes, honesty pays. And the man received a sweet payoff for his virtue. Thank you for relating a morality tale we should all digest.

CONFIDENTIAL TO "SHOULD I CONTINUE OR QUIT?": The answer to your question will be found in this profound statement that originated with Sir Winston Churchill: "To each there comes in their lifetime a special moment when they are figuratively tapped on the shoulder and offered the chance to do a very special thing, unique to them and fitted to their talents. What a tragedy if that moment finds them unprepared or unqualified for that which could have been their finest hour." Enroll at your earliest opportunity and complete the preparation to fulfill your dreams.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)