DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old divorced man dating a wonderful 24-year-old woman. She lights up my life and is very kind to my daughter and me. I love her very much. However, there is a problem -- her 7-year-old son.

Everything seemed fine at first. He got along pretty well with my 5-year-old daughter, playing and having a good time. As time went on, though, my daughter told me about strange sexual comments he made to her. At first I thought he just had a dirty mouth, as his mother lacks somewhat in the discipline department. But this is turning into a problem.

My daughter recently reported that he told her he was going "to have sex with her." He has been investigated by Child Protective Services on two occasions for similar behavior around other children.

So now the children are no longer allowed to be together at all because I refuse to have my daughter talked to like that by anyone. I have her one week on, one week off.

I cannot imagine combining families at this point when her child has so many problems. It's not that I don't want to help him; it's that I need to protect my daughter. I love his mother very much, though, and feel terrible about what she's going through. Is this relationship worth working for, or is this little family "damaged goods"? -- WONDERING IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WONDERING: Because you say you love this woman, the answer to both of your questions is "yes." You have described a boy who appears not to understand what boundaries are, and who very likely has either been sexualized (molested) or exposed in some other way to adult sexual activity. The child needs professional help, and I hope he is receiving it.

I am not sure that the children should be entirely separated. However, they should not be together unless they are supervised by an adult at all times.

Does this mean you should not marry this woman? My advice is to take a wait-and-see attitude. It's not like you are racing down the home stretch toward a finish line. The mother needs parenting classes and the boy needs therapy. If both are successful, you might have a happy life together.

DEAR ABBY: I am 14, and my best friend's brother died recently. The football season will be starting soon, and one of our favorite things to do is hang out at football games. My friend mentioned that it's going to be hard for her, since her brother used to play. (Her brother was 17.) He was smart and funny and a great football player.

I was wondering if you have any suggestions on how I can make this year her best one ever, and what to do when we are at football games and she is feeling sad. -- CARING FRIEND IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR CARING FRIEND: The kindest thing you could do for your friend is let her know that if she wants to talk about her brother, you will be there to listen to what she needs to say. Too often, people are afraid to listen and try to change the subject because it makes them uncomfortable.

You can also make a point of including your friend in any activities you can share, but if she doesn't feel up to joining you, tell her you understand and will ask her again.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband of two years and I are having a tough time raising my 12-year-old brother. My mother passed away two years ago, and he agreed to help me raise him until he's 18. Since my brother moved in with us, we've all had a hard time adjusting. I constantly feel I have to choose between them. My husband is tough with my brother because he says he has to become a man. I try to protect my brother, because the male influence in his life hasn't been the best.

What should I do? Should I let my husband discipline him as he wishes, or should I intervene? -- FRUSTRATED IN CASTLE ROCK, COLO.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: I agree your brother will have to learn to become a man, but right now he is only a 12-year-old child who has lost his mother -– and whose father is apparently nowhere in sight. That you have taken him in is wonderful, but you and your husband need to come to an understanding and an agreement about what "discipline" means. In order for discipline to work, it must also be fair, nonviolent and consistent. Assuredly, you will have to set rules and boundaries for the boy. But you and your husband should seek family counseling to help you during this learning process of raising your brother.

DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, during my freshman year in college, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy. His father and I made the joint decision to place him for adoption. Thankfully, his adopted family keeps me involved with his life by sending me pictures and frequent updates. I have no regrets about my decision.

I am soon to be married to the most wonderful man on Earth. Recently, during our premarital counseling, the question came up concerning how we would tell our children about the son I had. After discussing this issue further, my fiance and I agreed that we would like our children to know about their half-brother from their earliest memory. Our problem is, we don't know how to tell them in a way that will not upset them, confuse them or scare them. Any suggestions? -- JESSICA IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR JESSICA: I do not agree that your children should be told "from their earliest memory" that they have a half-brother who was adopted by another family. It will be easier for them to understand when they are older, and you are talking with them about the facts of life and the consequences of unprotected sex. They need to be able to engage in a dialogue with you about it at a time when they can fully comprehend your honest answers. Please consider what I have said.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 36-year-old man who has been dating a 39-year-old widow for two years. Lately, I thought things were going well between us, but two nights ago she called me to say she is going out with another man.

I have invested my whole self into this relationship and have developed an emotional attachment to my girlfriend's children. I am crushed, despondent and beside myself with sadness. What can I do to feel happy again? -- GRIEVING IN MONTEBELLO, CALIF.

DEAR GRIEVING: I am sorry things didn't work out as you wished. However, not every dating relationship ends up at the altar –- and that is just the way life is.

The surest way I know to get over a broken romance is to distract yourself. Keep busy. Channel the time and energy you devoted to the relationship into activities that will help your church, your community, your career and/or sports so you don't have the time to brood about what "might have been." This works for both sexes.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and 3 1/2-year-old daughter love movies. I'm happy they have something in common to keep them close, but it's just not something I'm into. Most of the time, if they're watching a movie, the volume will go up to simulate a theater, which makes me nervous. So I do the polite thing -– I find something to do in another room. I am always courteous about it; I never flip out or am rude. I respect their love of movies.

So why do I feel guilty when my husband comes to me within five minutes of my leaving the room to make sure I'm OK? It's as if he's always afraid I'm angry. No amount of reassurance has helped him believe me. Any suggestions? -- CAN'T STAND THE NOISE, ONTARIO, CALIF.

DEAR CAN'T STAND THE NOISE: Perhaps you feel guilty because you don't make watching the movie "family time" you can enjoy together. Or maybe your husband feels guilty for turning up the volume when he knows you're sensitive to loud noises.

How about popping in some earplugs and enjoying the party? You might find you enjoy the experience not because of the movie, but because of their pleasure in having you there. Alternatively, consider suggesting another activity where you can all interact and converse with each other instead of just sitting and being entertained.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together eight years. I have left him twice because of his constant obsession with me. When he comes from work, if I am on the computer he gets angry and says I don't love him or want to spend time with him. He doesn't even like our children to be around if we are home.

I recently found out that one of the most important people in my life is going to die. When I told my husband I would be out of town at the doctor's with this person, my husband's first comment was, "I guess this means you aren't coming home tonight."

If I go away -– even overnight –- he calls or pages me nonstop, develops stomach aches, etc. Abby, we can be lying in bed with his hand touching mine, and if my nose itches and I move my hand to scratch it, I get, "Fine, then!"

I don't know what to do, but I can't keep on living like this. He always says he'll change, and for a little while he does. Then the cycle starts all over again. He has suffocated my love for him. But if I leave, he will tell the children (10 and 7) that it's all my fault and he wants to be a family. I don't know what to do. Do you think this relationship is salvageable? -- CAN'T BREATHE IN TEXAS

DEAR CAN'T BREATHE: Not unless your husband realizes that he has a serious problem and is willing to get professional help for his extreme self-centeredness and insecurity.

DEAR ABBY: I was widowed a little over a year ago when my darling wife died of cancer. Because my wife is now deceased, are her siblings technically still my brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law? They are wonderful people, and I still consider them to be part of my family. But are they? -- WONDERING IN PHOENIX

DEAR WONDERING: As long as your wife's sisters and brothers have a place in your heart, they will remain a part of your family. And if you choose to refer to them as in-laws, that's your privilege. I only hope that when you finally meet another special someone that they will welcome her into the family circle.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)