DEAR ABBY: Before my grandmother and mother passed on, a "five-generation" picture was taken of Nana, Mom, me, my younger daughter and her little boy. This caused some distress for my older daughter, who feels she should have been included. She was, at the time, without children -- and the decision was made by the photographer.

I'm not sure if this was right or not. Could you please tell me who should be in a five-generation photograph? -- CLAIRE IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR CLAIRE: All members of each generation should have been in the picture. In your case, that would have been your grandmother, you, both your daughters and your grandchild. To have excluded one of your daughters because she was childless was insensitive -- and obviously hurtful. She should have been included as a member of the fourth generation.

DEAR ABBY: On May 11, 2004, cancer took from me the best thing that ever happened to me. My wife and I had been blissfully married for 24 years. I miss her more than I have words to say. However, I have moved on, and I am making a new life for myself. Abby, I am doing OK.

My problem is that some of my relatives, friends and co-workers don't seem to think so. I can't get through a day without one of them saying, "You need a girlfriend," or asking me when I'll remarry. I am not the moping type and exhibit an upbeat persona. (My wife would have wanted it that way.)

How can I politely get across to them that I am comfortable the way things are? I know they mean well, but it's really none of their business. I may find someone new, but it will happen when it happens. -- GETTING BY IN TEXAS

DEAR GETTING BY: To those who say, "You need a girlfriend," say, "When I feel that way, I'm sure I'll find one." And to people who ask when you'll marry again, smile and tell them you'll do so as soon as you meet the right woman. Then change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: I am being married for the second -- and last -- time. I consider myself lucky to have found someone that I look forward to seeing and being with each and every day.

For my first wedding, my mother made me a most beautiful wedding gown that I truly treasure. Would it be tacky to update the same dress for my upcoming wedding? I don't think of it in terms of my ex-husband. I think of it only as something very special from my mom. It has been 20 years, so I would not even consider asking her to make me another. -- AWAITING YOUR OPINION IN KANSAS

DEAR AWAITING: Congratulations on your wedding. I wish you and your intended a lifetime of happiness together. If the idea of your wearing the same wedding gown doesn't bother him, I see no reason why you shouldn't do it. It has been so long since your first wedding that no one is likely to realize it. It's your day, so do as you please.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question I cannot find the answer to. I have asked many people, including the chief of staff of the U.S. Army and Madeleine Albright. Nobody seems to know the answer.

I am 90 years old, and if I don't get an answer soon, it will be too late. My question is: Can nose hair get dandruff? -- JOHN W. JOHNSON, CAPT., U.S. ARMY (RET.)

DEAR CAPT. JOHNSON: Not unless the nose has been "sniffing" dandruff.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: "Had It in Arlington, Wash." (8/29) was upset because her teenaged stepchildren didn't give her husband, their father, gifts even though he was generous with them.

She could change that by inviting them to go shopping with her when she picks out a gift for him the next time they visit. If it's not a gift-giving occasion, that's OK. A "just because" gift is the best kind.

If their relationship is close enough, she might feel comfortable suggesting they get something for him, too -- even if she has to pay the first few times. My guess is that, unless the kids are selfish, insensitive brats, they'll get the message and want to use their own money. The gifts need not be extravagant, just thoughtful.

I get some of my most interesting things in flea markets, consignment shops and closeout stores. -- IT WORKED FOR ME, DUNWOODY, GA.

DEAR I.W.F.M.: You're a smart cookie, who I am sure not only endeared yourself to your husband for what you did, but also his children. And you're not the only smart lady who responded to that letter. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You were right on to say that the husband shouldn't punish his children for what amounts to their mother's poor teaching or example.

I was divorced when my son was very small, and I always helped him get his father at least a small gift for Christmas and Father's Day. His father, on the other hand, never once responded in kind. He seemed to think it was the responsibility of some other man in my life to get me gifts -- first my father (since I moved back home for a short time), then my new husband. Have I pointed this out to my son? Heck, no. Has he noticed? You bet he has!

We teach our kids by example. What the stepmom could do is talk to the kids and say, "Your dad's been generous to you. Would you like some help in getting him a present for his birthday, to say thanks?" -- KAREN IN SALEM, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: I could not believe your response to "Had it in Arlington, Wash." You said, "Children behave as they have been taught, usually by their mothers." How incredibly insulting to mothers everywhere. Let me tell you that when I went through a divorce, it was their father who "taught" them such despicable behavior!

My ex-husband was so bitter, he did not want my children to give me anything -- on birthdays, Mother's Day or Christmas. In fact, I was the one who took them to the store and gave them money to buy gifts for their father on each and every occasion, even though it was not reciprocated.

At one point, my son asked me as I drove them to the store to get a gift for their father's birthday, "Why do you care, Mom? He doesn't care about you!" Let me add that the Christmas that I gave them enough money to buy everyone (including me) gifts, their father would let them spend only $10 on a gift certificate for me, regardless of what they knew I wanted and they had wanted to buy for me! Shame on you, Dear Abby, for making such a hurtful comment. -- UPSET IN BRIGHTON, COLO.

DEAR UPSET: I offer my apology if what I said you took personally. It was simply an observation and not intended to be hurtful to anyone.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Cindy," and some of her friends have been playing the "choking game" where you deprive yourself of oxygen by tying something around your neck in order to get high. They say it's safe because they do it with someone else there to make sure they're OK. However, last week there was an article in the paper about a boy who died doing it.

Cindy asks me to monitor her when she does it in our room. I don't want to help her, but she says she's "hooked" on the high she gets. I'm afraid if I refuse, she'll do it anyway. I love my sister very much and would never forgive myself if something happened to her.

Cindy and I have an understanding. We don't tell our parents on each other, and she hasn't told on me when she's known things that would get me in trouble. However, I think I should make an exception when her life may be in danger. Do you agree? -- WORRIED SISTER, RANCHO CORDOVA, CALIF.

DEAR WORRIED SISTER: The fact that Cindy says she's hooked on the high should tell you that if she gets a strong enough craving and you're not around, she's likely to play the game alone. What she's doing could be considered a form of Russian roulette. Because we don't allow people we love to take foolish chances with their lives, you should inform your parents immediately.

DEAR ABBY: I am 19 years old. I have seen you help many people through your column, and I'm hoping you can help me.

I have been with my fiance, "Jeremy," for three years, and I used to be crazy about him. Now that our wedding day is approaching, I'm beginning to have second thoughts about our entire relationship. He constantly has to know where I am and what I'm doing. He also has a temper. If I don't make him first priority all the time, he gets mad and we end up in a huge fight.

I am about ready to call it quits, but I'm afraid because of the emotional state he is in. The last time I tried to end the relationship, Jeremy tried to kill himself. I need to know if I should say "I do" even though he and I aren't exactly getting along right now. -- TRAPPED IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR TRAPPED: To marry someone because you are "afraid to call it quits" is the wrong reason to marry anyone. You have described a young man who is immature and self-destructive. It's time to call it quits, but before you do, contact Jeremy's family -– preferably his parents -– and warn them that their son may need psychiatric help once you tell him the wedding is off. (It's the truth.) Then tell him in the presence of your family and, because he is unstable, put some distance between the two of you after you deliver the bad news.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my late 20s and have a close bond with a younger female cousin of mine. We are good friends and enjoy being together.

Sometimes when we go to a restaurant or a movie together, people give me funny looks. I guess they assume I am an adult who is taking advantage of a young girl. What can I do to get people to realize she's just a younger cousin? -- OLDER COUSIN IN THE WEST

DEAR OLDER COUSIN: Ignore them. Evil is in the eye of the beholder. Don't make something your problem when it's really theirs.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)