DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I remember reading about some Please Call Police banners you mentioned in your column. Do you know if they are still available? I am 90 years old, live alone and I can't walk very well. I live in a house on a city block with quite a few vacant lots.

My phone went out, and I had no way to call for help. I turned my U.S. flag upside down because I had read that it's a distress signal that everyone can understand -- but nobody stopped. Finally, I saw two girls walking by. I called out to them and asked them to please go to the police and call about my telephone. Abby, I was alone without a phone for 30 days!

I would like to order a set of those banners for my window in case of another emergency, and I'd also like a set for my daughter who travels alone. Do you know how I can order them? -- CLOSE CALL IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CLOSE CALL: Thirty days isolated in a house with no means of communication? Your letter gave me chills. Yes, the Please Call Police banners are still available. Other readers have written me to say they have been a literal lifesaver in case of an emergency.

I keep two banners in the glove compartment of my car -- one for the windshield and another for the rear window. Although most people have cell phones these days, invariably there are "dead spots" where the phone doesn't work, and it's better to be safe than sorry.

The Please Call Police banners make ideal stocking stuffers and provide a safety measure for people to give their loved ones, but they also assist the Westside Center for Independent Living (WCIL), a nonprofit organization that helps people with disabilities to live more independent lives. They make thoughtful, caring gifts for very little money for Thanksgiving and other holidays, providing security and safety to commuters who travel in good or bad weather.

This year, in addition to the banners, WCIL is offering emergency blankets made of silver-colored Mylar. They weigh 2 ounces, and also fit easily into a glove compartment, backpack -- even a purse. Events over the last few years have repeatedly emphasized the need for emergency preparedness, and the blankets -- in addition to the banners -- would be attention-getting reflective devices if someone is lost or trapped and unable to call out.

The banners and the blankets can be purchased by writing to WCIL. To order, send check or money order (U.S. funds only, please) to: WCIL Banners or Blankets, P.O. Box 92501, Los Angeles, CA 90009. You will receive one banner or one blanket for a $5 contribution and each additional blanket or banner for a $4 contribution. (Please include $1 per total order for postage and handling.) For more information and secure ordering online, visit www.wcil.org and click on the "Police Banners" or "Emergency Blankets" link. Allow four to six weeks for delivery.

DEAR ABBY: I have lived, so far, through eight years of hell with my husband. The one year of heaven was the year before we were married. I won't go into the hell I have been put through, I just want your definition of a real man. If you put this in the paper, please don't reveal my name. - - NEEDS TO KNOW IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: I'm willing to bet that if you asked 10 people for their definition of a "real man," you'd get a different answer from each one. However, to me, a "real man" is a person of the male gender who lives his life with integrity, puts his responsibility toward his family before his own selfish interests, and doesn't have to prove to himself or others that he is a "real man."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I identified with the woman signed "No Hugs, Please," who complained of a man who considers himself a "good Christian" yet dispenses lecherous hugs in the name of fellowship. I am a slim, attractive female who is a United Methodist minister, and three older men in our church fall into the same category. Here's how I handled it:

When one of the men zeroed in on me prior to worship as I was greeting people and proclaimed, "I need a big hug!" I quickly stepped back, pointed to his wife and said, "There ... help yourself!" He's never tried hugging me again.

More often, when I see these predators coming, I simply extend one hand out to shake, and put my other hand on their shoulder to physically keep them at bay. After a brief handshake, I move away. That way, I'm in control of the situation. -- PASTOR IN TEXAS

DEAR PASTOR: I heard from a number of readers of both sexes about how common this problem is. Thank you for sharing with my readers your successful technique. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have worked in the field of violence against women for six years. No one has the right to touch anyone without permission. Once "Uncle Harry" has been told by these women not to hug them anymore, he's legally obligated to cease. He needs to understand that if he continues to hug women who have asked him to stop, he may be breaking the law and could be arrested. Everyone has a right to her (or his) personal space. -- GIGI IN HAWAII

DEAR ABBY: Your response to "No Hugs, Please" regarding thumbtacks in bras was just bizarre. Just because the man is in his 70s and goes to church doesn't mean he shouldn't be held responsible for sexual harassment.

I'm also curious as to who a "fine" Christian such as Uncle Harry is married to. A woman who turns a blind eye to her husband's lecherous behavior is nothing but a fine example of denial! -- ZERO TOLERANCE FOR LECHERY, GOLDEN, COLO.

DEAR ABBY: Uncle Harry, the older man who loves to hug women, pretending it's not sexual, won't be put off by simply being told, "Don't hug me." He'll laugh and hug harder, just to prove he's in control.

I've found it useful to pretend I don't know there's any sexual component behind such behavior. Example, call out nice and loud, "Ow! You're hurting me!" no matter how gently he hugs.

If you accuse him of improper intent, he'll only deny it. But if you state that he's causing you physical pain -- he can't deny that. It worked for me with a former co-worker who was a lot worse than Uncle Harry. -- MILLIE IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: Tacks in bras? Please say you were kidding. That's the old passive-aggressive way women dealt with men in the past because they were afraid to stand up for their rights and feelings. Imagine a child trying to hug you with those tacks. Besides, the sight of little points sticking out of my bra and dress is enough to send me into hysterics. -- DEALT WITH IT VERBALLY IN FLA.

DEAR ABBY: I loved your reply regarding lecherous Uncle Harry. As long as he doesn't over-hug, he won't get the "point." Thanks! -- K.J. IN WINDSOR, COLO.

READERS: Today you have seen what the women have to say. On Thursday, I think you'll be equally interested in seeing the responses I received from the men!

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 38, a mother of three, and my husband and I have been married 16 years. I'm an only child. Daddy passed away 10 years ago.

Now my mother, who is 74 but in good health (according to her doctor, whom I talk to regularly), insists that she "must" come and live with me. My husband has made it clear that she's not welcome. Mamma has caused untold trouble with virtually every family member over the span of her lifetime, and is cruel and verbally abusive. Her presence in our home would not be positive for our children because she is critical, demanding and impossible to please. I talk to her daily (we live seven hours apart), and every day she tells me how "mean" I am because I won't allow her to come and live with us.

Abby, I am currently working on my MBA. I would not be where I am without the love and support of my husband and three children. I cannot ask them to bear the burden of my mother, but her constant nagging is making me physically ill. What do I do? I would deeply appreciate and respect your advice. -- TORN APART IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TORN APART: For the sake of your family, do not allow yourself to be guilted into letting your mother move in. Offer to help her find a nice residence for active seniors or an assisted living facility if she feels she needs one. (Her doctor might be able to recommend some good ones.) Your mother appears to be a master at guilt and manipulation, and you may need professional help to fend her off. You are both adults, so stop letting her treat you like a naughty child. If necessary, make an appointment with a psychologist to help you through this difficult period.

P.S. Daily phone calls seem excessive. You will feel better if you do not talk to your mother as often as you have been.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl, and for almost three months I have been e-mailing a 16-year-old boy I'll call Derek. Derek tells me how much he likes me and how much he would love to date me. I feel the same way, but when I talked to my parents about it, they did not approve.

The reason is Derek's sexual past. He was having sex in his last relationship, which lasted a little over a year. My parents are concerned that he will expect that from me.

I explained to Derek that if we were to date, I would not go that far. He respected that and promised that he would never force me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with. I explained this to my parents, but they still don't trust him.

What can I do to show them I'm trustworthy enough to date an older guy and I can make good decisions for myself? – NOT A CHILD IN CASCADE, MONT.

DEAR NOT A CHILD: Your parents know you are not a child, and their concern is not that you are untrustworthy. They are concerned about Derek's trustworthiness, and whether he is mature enough to make the right decisions regarding his relationship with you in light of the fact that he was having sex with his former girlfriend for more than a year.

Although it is nice that Derek wouldn't force you to do anything you weren't comfortable with –- which could be regarded as rape, by the way -– you should ask yourself if you would both be ready to deal with the consequences if you did "get comfortable." At 14, you might be ready to socialize as part of a group, but not one-on-one. And one way to earn your parents' trust is to put some trust in their decisions.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)