DEAR ABBY: I am one of those rare individuals who has no interest in music of any kind. I never listen to it, and if it's being played where I happen to be -- I block it out.

I don't sing, hum, keep a beat or dance. I don't even own any CDs. I have always been this way. My former wife tolerated it because I was interested in, and well-informed about, all the other arts that didn't include music.

I am now divorced and dating again. The first thing any date or prospect wants to know is the kind of music I like, and if I like to dance. If I say I have no interest in music, I'm immediately considered a bit weird. I can't fake it, either, because I know nothing about performers, past or present, or the music they play.

What's the best way to handle this apparent negative when I want to date? I'm normal in every other way. I don't hate music; I just don't care about it one way or another. And, are there others like me? -- TUNED OUT IN AKRON, OHIO

DEAR TUNED OUT: I'm sure there are many. One way to handle your problem would be to be honest when asked about your preference in music -- and quickly add, that you do enjoy the theater, movies, art exhibits, etc., and extend an invitation.

However, an even better way to deal with it would be to sign up for some dance lessons. Knowing how to steer a woman across the floor and make her look good is a tremendous social asset for any man. Trust me on that, because I'm speaking from personal experience.

DEAR ABBY: I need your advice about a touchy subject. I am reuniting with my high school sweetheart, "Arthur." We dated 50 years ago. Arthur lost his wife of 44 years a little over a year ago, and started a long-distance relationship with me on the phone and writing letters. He lives in Ohio; I had moved to Florida.

Arthur has asked me to marry him and move into his lovely home, but he has his wife's sister living there. I don't think I could be myself under the same roof as his deceased wife's sister.

Arthur says he hopes I can change my mind, because she has nowhere to go. I have a feeling the family would resent me if I insist she find another place to live. He says if he has to, he will ask her to leave, but that makes me feel guilty. I am 67, Arthur is 70, and the sister-in-law is in her 70s. She works full time and gets Social Security. What do you think? -- IRIS IN FT. MYERS, FLA.

DEAR IRIS: My first reaction to your question was to tell you the woman should leave. Then I got to thinking ... stranger living situations have worked out. Have you met her? Would she welcome or resent you? Wouldn't it be interesting if it turned out you liked each other, and the communal aspect of living together turned out to be a positive and didn't interfere with your romantic relationship with Arthur? I suggest you go for a long visit before making up your mind either way.

DEAR ABBY: The company I work for has recently moved into a new building in a brand-new business complex. My boss wants to have an open house, but right now we're still finalizing items in the building: reception furniture, a few desks, work spaces, art for the walls, etc.

How long is too long since we moved in to hold the open house? -- HELPING THE BOSS

DEAR HELPING: Hold the open house when the place is "presentable." That means, when the furniture is in and the art is hung. Everything doesn't have to be "perfect" -- but it should be close to completion if not finished.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR READERS: On Tuesday, I shared the responses I received from women to a letter from a lady, "No Hugs Please," (9/13) in Alabama. She asked what could be done about "Uncle Harry," a man in his mid-70s who insists on bear-hugging almost all of the women he meets. The letter generated many responses from male readers. And I thought you might be interested to see how they felt he should be "handled." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: May I offer a method that's fast, effective and creates very little attention: When Uncle Harry approaches with open arms, the woman should hold her upper arms close to her chest and slide her forearms up and in front of her breasts. Clenching her fists will provide strength to her upper arms. This position will protect her breasts from contact with Uncle Harry and increase the circumference for her upper body, making a bear hug more difficult.

While holding this posture, she should make direct eye contact and firmly say, "No!" Nothing more. A wishy-washy response will not be effective. He may object, cajole or question, but regardless of what he says, or how many times he persists, her only response should be to repeat, "I said, 'No!'" or, "I do not want you to hug me."

In the unlikely event that he gets loud in an attempt to embarrass her, he's the one who will look like the fool. And anyone who observes the scene will look at her in admiration. -- AN OLD MAN WHO KNOWS WHAT WORKS

DEAR ABBY: Uncle Harry undoubtedly is a sexually abusive pervert. His wife may be "one of the finest Christians in the area," but you can depend on the fact that she already knows about and tolerates his behavior. The other "Christian women" who do not object when he gropes them simply accept his abuse and support his rationalization of "Christian fellowship."

Don't confuse spirituality with reality. What can be done about Uncle Harry? Go to court for a restraining order, or continue to be victims. -- NEIL IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ABBY: My doctoral minor was in human sexual behavior, and Uncle Harry's groping is neither normal nor acceptable. His family needs to see he receives adequate professional help, and soon, before he "graduates" to a more serious type of activity.

If this doesn't help, there are two sure-fire remedies: First, the offended ladies should complain to their local police about his unwanted sexual molestations (they're criminal acts). His family might be embarrassed by the press coverage, and a judge may demand professional treatment.

The other remedy is for each offended lady to give him a swift with-all-their-might knee to the crotch. His family may need to see that he gets medical treatment -- and professional help -- but it's better than what some irate husband may do to him. -- PH.D. IN ALBUQUERQUE, N.M.

DEAR ABBY: I know a lady who had the same problem, and after three warnings, she finally became fed up. She was a black belt in karate. Needless to say, it worked like a charm. And after another woman did the same thing to the man, he started being an even better "Christian."

If the men won't put a stop to it, then the ladies have no choice and must act. This type of behavior does not stop on its own. -- ON THE LADIES' SIDE IN N.Y.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, I remember reading about some Please Call Police banners you mentioned in your column. Do you know if they are still available? I am 90 years old, live alone and I can't walk very well. I live in a house on a city block with quite a few vacant lots.

My phone went out, and I had no way to call for help. I turned my U.S. flag upside down because I had read that it's a distress signal that everyone can understand -- but nobody stopped. Finally, I saw two girls walking by. I called out to them and asked them to please go to the police and call about my telephone. Abby, I was alone without a phone for 30 days!

I would like to order a set of those banners for my window in case of another emergency, and I'd also like a set for my daughter who travels alone. Do you know how I can order them? -- CLOSE CALL IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CLOSE CALL: Thirty days isolated in a house with no means of communication? Your letter gave me chills. Yes, the Please Call Police banners are still available. Other readers have written me to say they have been a literal lifesaver in case of an emergency.

I keep two banners in the glove compartment of my car -- one for the windshield and another for the rear window. Although most people have cell phones these days, invariably there are "dead spots" where the phone doesn't work, and it's better to be safe than sorry.

The Please Call Police banners make ideal stocking stuffers and provide a safety measure for people to give their loved ones, but they also assist the Westside Center for Independent Living (WCIL), a nonprofit organization that helps people with disabilities to live more independent lives. They make thoughtful, caring gifts for very little money for Thanksgiving and other holidays, providing security and safety to commuters who travel in good or bad weather.

This year, in addition to the banners, WCIL is offering emergency blankets made of silver-colored Mylar. They weigh 2 ounces, and also fit easily into a glove compartment, backpack -- even a purse. Events over the last few years have repeatedly emphasized the need for emergency preparedness, and the blankets -- in addition to the banners -- would be attention-getting reflective devices if someone is lost or trapped and unable to call out.

The banners and the blankets can be purchased by writing to WCIL. To order, send check or money order (U.S. funds only, please) to: WCIL Banners or Blankets, P.O. Box 92501, Los Angeles, CA 90009. You will receive one banner or one blanket for a $5 contribution and each additional blanket or banner for a $4 contribution. (Please include $1 per total order for postage and handling.) For more information and secure ordering online, visit www.wcil.org and click on the "Police Banners" or "Emergency Blankets" link. Allow four to six weeks for delivery.

DEAR ABBY: I have lived, so far, through eight years of hell with my husband. The one year of heaven was the year before we were married. I won't go into the hell I have been put through, I just want your definition of a real man. If you put this in the paper, please don't reveal my name. - - NEEDS TO KNOW IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR NEEDS TO KNOW: I'm willing to bet that if you asked 10 people for their definition of a "real man," you'd get a different answer from each one. However, to me, a "real man" is a person of the male gender who lives his life with integrity, puts his responsibility toward his family before his own selfish interests, and doesn't have to prove to himself or others that he is a "real man."

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)