Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: One Sunday, our two elderly dogs (14 and 15) were outside in the yard when a sudden rainstorm came up. One of the dogs ran inside, but the other, "Windom," didn't. We assumed he had taken refuge in the doghouse or under the porch. We live in a rural area and the dogs rarely leave the yard, so when Windom still hadn't come to the door a half-hour later, we began looking for him.

On foot and by car, my husband and I, along with our teenaged son who has a handicap, searched a two-mile radius. No luck. The next day we resumed our search, this time combing the wooded area around our house. Still no luck. On Tuesday, fearing the worst, we continued to look -- checking the ditches up and down the roads. By Thursday, we no longer expected to find him alive.

The following Sunday, one week from the day Windom disappeared, I got up early as usual and went to Mass. I prayed our beloved Windom had not suffered. Although I had accepted the fact he was dead, I still prayed for an answer. All I wanted was to find him and bury him.

After church, I was sitting at the breakfast table with our son when the phone rang. The caller said he had found our dog! My husband was in the shower, and I began running around like a chicken with my head cut off -- grabbing my keys and dashing for the door. Our son hollered the good news to his dad, who of course wanted to come with us. We all hopped into our pickup and headed for the address the man had given.

Only God knows what happened in that week Windom was gone. Somehow he had traveled from our rural home to a busy main road 6 miles away. When Windom left our yard, he was a 65-pound, long-haired mixed breed. After his excursion, he had lost 18 pounds and was an exhausted, dehydrated mess. His hair was so matted and thick with burrs, I had to take him to a groomer and have him shaved. On his first day home, all he wanted to do was sleep and drink water.

Abby, in all the excitement, we failed to get that kind person's name. However, we want him to know how grateful we are that he took the time to stop on that busy road to help a lost dog find his family. We'll remember him always in our prayers. -- ROBERTA JONES, FORESTVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR ROBERTA: While you're at it, you should thank God your dog was wearing current identification and didn't lose his collar. Your experience should serve as an important reminder to pet owners everywhere.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college student who is doing fairly well in school. I'm a good person who is on the right road to success. So why am I always falling for the wrong guys?

I get out of these bad relationships in time, but then I'm left with the pain and hurt they've given me. I can't seem to forgive myself for being so gullible, and this causes me to treat men -- even the good ones -- like they're all bad. What do you suggest I do, Abby? -- GULLIBLE SWEETHEART IN MACON, GA.

DEAR SWEETHEART: First of all, I recommend a "time-out" from men, during which you review those qualities that make your heart beat faster. Then ask yourself if you are holding men to higher standards than you would like to be judged. Too many women make the mistake of judging men by their looks, their athletic ability or their wallets -- and entirely overlook kind, sincere, intelligent and sensitive men who would make excellent "catches."

Having been beaten up emotionally time after time, no one can blame you for keeping your defenses up. However, not all men are abusive, self-involved, dishonest users -- and the price you pay for keeping up your guard can be walling yourself off emotionally. Remember, dating is a learning experience. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Hanukkah begins at sundown. I would like to wish a happy festival of lights to one and all!

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Not long ago you wrote a column that mentioned funny names that match people's occupations. I am submitting two more: Prior to our wedding, my husband and I had the state-required blood tests. They were administered by a Dr. Fix. (We later read that Dr. Fix was caught giving himself one, and was arrested on drug charges.) The minister who married us was aptly named Dr. Comfort. -- ANN B., ARCHER, FLA.

DEAR ANN: Thanks for a "Fixer"-upper of a letter. It arrived with a bushel of mail from other readers offering names that match occupations. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: One of my dearest friends is a professional landscaper of golf courses, highways and schools. His name? Ross Weed! -- BONNIE G. CHAPIN, S.C.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, last name Graves, is a funeral director. -- DIANNE G., RIPLEY, MISS.

DEAR ABBY: The first time I took my grandchildren to their doctor, their regular physician was on vacation. The doctor who was filling in for him was named Dr. Needle. I kid you not. -- THERESA S., SPARROW BUSH, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: When I was in college, the disciplinary dean's name was Dick Justice. -- BRIAN S., NAPERVILLE, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: I have a couple of names that take the cake. I am a nurse in a large hospital in central Wisconsin. We had a plastic surgeon named Dr. Hacker, and if that wasn't enough, his resident was Dr. Wacker. Not surprisingly, their patients required a lot of reassurance. Wouldn't you? -- LORI FROM THE DAIRY STATE

DEAR ABBY: While I was serving at the Marine Corps Schools in Quantico, Va., my best friend took me with him when he had his vasectomy. His physician's name was Dr. D. Nutter. -- PAT M., DALLAS

DEAR ABBY: There is a dentist here in my city whose hygienist's last name is Toothacher. -- GLEN IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: In Portland, Ore., where I reside, there are three orthodontists: Dr. Payne, Dr. Fear and Dr. Rensch (pronounced "Wrench")! -- AMELIA S.

DEAR ABBY: I swear this is true: When I visited my first gynecologist when I was in college (the University of Massachusetts at Amherst), his name was Dr. Clapp. -- V. COOK, BLUE HILL, MAINE

DEAR ABBY: When I worked at a major hospital, from time to time I would see trauma victims with the attending doctor's name being "Dr. Kill." Initially I thought it was a hospital code for victims who might still be at risk. As it turned out, Dr. Kill is a practicing physician. -- SABRINA IN SAN DIEGO

DEAR ABBY: My greatest nightmare of a college textbook was for a class called "History and Systems of Psychology." It was better than a sleeping pill. It put students to sleep in 10 seconds flat. The author? Edwin G. Boring. -- KAY IN MILLFORD, DEL.

DEAR ABBY: My father, mother and sister all see the same psychiatrist, and have for more than 15 years. His name is Dr. Looney. Seriously. -- READER IN HUNTSVILLE, TEXAS

DEAR READER: I'd say Dr. Looney is running a family practice.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My older sister decided to join the Army before going to college. We didn't get along, and I was glad to see her go -- especially since it meant that I'd have a room of my own after always having had to share with her. She was just sent to Iraq.

Now I realize that I really love my sister, and I'm worried sick about her. I also feel really guilty about being happy about her leaving. Having my own room isn't all that great, and when I look at her side of the room and her empty bed, I wish we were still sharing a room and she was out of harm's way.

I want to write her and tell her how I feel and that I love her. But if I write her, I'm not sure how she'll react. I think about her and worry about her all the time. I tried to talk to my mom about how I feel, but she just blew me off and acted like she didn't believe me. Please tell me what I can do to deal with this. -- SAD SISTER IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR SAD SISTER: Your mother is dealing with her own anxieties right now. Do not let another day go by without sitting down and writing that letter to your sister. Tell her exactly what you have told me. I am positive that not only will she be happy to hear from you, she will also be impressed by how much you have matured in such a short time. It's the only way to deal with what's bothering you.

DEAR ABBY: I was driving down the road the other day and noticed a young girl by the side of the road trying to put the chain back on her bike. As I drove past her, I slowed my car and then stopped and backed up to ask if she needed help. She said she almost had it on, so I drove away.

Then it occurred to me later that maybe, in this day and age, I shouldn't have done what I did. I love kids and would never harm a child, and I would never want a child stranded by the side of the road. But at the same time, I question if stopping was safe to do -- with kidnapping and child molestation in the news so often.

Is it OK for a young man (I am 33) to stop and help a child who may need it without someone thinking I am up to no good, and with kids being taught not to go near strangers in cars? -- UNSURE IN SEVERANCE, COLO.

DEAR UNSURE: You are a caring person, forced to choose between idealism and sad reality. You did the right thing by stopping to offer help and, when it was refused, by continuing on your way. However, because you felt the need to do more, you should have called roadside emergency services to let them know there was a stranded cyclist by the side of the road, so they could check to see if further assistance was needed.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter recently gave birth to a baby boy. We would like to establish a college fund in his name, but we have a dilemma. Our son-in-law has two children by a prior marriage. We have an excellent relationship with all of them and do not want to hurt anyone's feelings. However, my wife and I are retired and are not in a position to fund three programs. What do you suggest? -- PROUD GRANDPA IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR PROUD GRANDPA: You are a loving grandparent. Please do not feel awkward because you cannot be as generous as you would like. Talk to your CPA or your attorney and ask for referrals to financial planners whom they trust. When you find the right adviser, discuss your entire situation and ask for recommendations.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)