DEAR ABBY: I am a 13-year-old who lives in northern Portugal, and while it's true that the vast majority of teens suffer from depression, mine is different.

Before I went to grade school, I was a happy kid, extroverted and showing some talent for the violin. When I was 6, however, I met a girl who I thought was so beautiful that I couldn't look at her.

As much as adults might insist that love in a 6-year-old is impossible, that is the only thing it could have been. The idea that she didn't love me back gave me many nights of pain and even a trip to the hospital for an emotional breakdown, from which I suffered very badly.

My parents were more supportive of my intellect than anything else. They didn't really have the time for my emotions. My intense, unrequited love turned me into a bitter person who has not been remotely happy in years. I find it very hard to wake up every day, and my family doesn't know the slightest about my inner self. What can I do to ease my pain? -- BITTER 13-YEAR-OLD IN PORTUGAL

DEAR BITTER: You appear to be highly intelligent and precocious for your age. You write like an adult, so I will answer you on that level.

The first thing you must do is talk honestly with your parents about your feelings of sadness, bitterness and pain. They are some of the classic signs of chronic depression. You may discover that, in light of the fact that you were once hospitalized for a breakdown, your parents will not be surprised and will be open to what you have to say. Depression can run in families, and you are probably not the only family member who has struggled with it.

While it is possible for a young child to fall in love -- I did it myself as a child, more than once -- you must realize that not all children do. The object of your adoration may not have been as much "rejecting" as unaware of the depth of your feelings and not mature enough to return the emotions.

Your road to happiness lies within yourself, and with your parents' help, I pray you find it. But before you can begin that journey, you must find the courage to reveal your inner self to the people closest to you.

DEAR ABBY: Last night my wife and I went to a movie. A man in our row was talking, so I "shushed" him, but he continued to talk, ruining the movie for us.

What is the best way to handle someone talking during a movie? Thanks! -- JIM IN OVERLAND PARK, KAN.

DEAR JIM: Talking during a movie is one of the rudest things a person can do, on the same level as answering a cell phone rather than turning it off while a film is in progress.

Because your request for silence was ignored, you had several alternatives: Get up and move to a different location, or inform the theater manager about the distraction so he/she could handle it. Your final solution would be to ask for your money back and see the film another time, or watch it on DVD in the comfort and quiet of your own home. That's what many people are deciding to do these days.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of a man who pulls a chair out from underneath his wife when she goes to sit down? -- SORE BUTT, TEMECULA, CALIF.

DEAR SORE BUTT: Not much. You could have been seriously injured. If your husband thinks it was funny, he appears to be immature and have a warped sense of humor. From now on, seat yourself, because your husband is not to be trusted until he grows up.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Do you believe there is a Santa Claus? My father died in 1966. I would have Mom for two more years. She was ill and developing Alzheimer's when my husband gave me an ultimatum: him or my faith. I chose my faith. When he left, I was left with Mom and two teenagers to support. We lived through some very hard times. Many nights we went to bed hungry.

One day, my son approached me with a bank statement in his hand. "Hey, Mom," he asked, "why are we struggling so hard? You have $3,000 in the bank!" I told him the funeral home had not yet cashed my check. (It was June; Dad had been buried the previous November.) When I contacted them, they informed me that they had already been paid for the funeral.

The lady at the bank looked for hours on her computer, but could not find an error anywhere. She smiled and said the money had been deposited in our account. I asked who had done it. No one knows my account number; there was no way to tell who had made the deposit. Then her smile grew really wide, and she said it had been deposited on Christmas Eve! Now, who would go to a bank on Christmas Eve?

I believe in Santa. He saved our lives. -- A BELIEVER IN OHIO

DEAR BELIEVER: I believe that Santa Claus takes many forms. He is the embodiment of the spirit of selfless giving that is present in most of us -- and which springs to life after Thanksgiving, although this year he appeared before the Halloween candy had been dispatched.

Two years ago, I received a testimonial regarding Santa Claus from another reader. She confided that the week before Christmas she was sorting through her mail, opening Christmas cards, when she came across an envelope with no return address. At first she thought it was a piece of junk mail, but decided to open it on a whim. When she did, she was stunned to find a Christmas greeting with three crisp, new $100 bills enclosed. The card was unsigned and the postmark indicated that it had been mailed from Flint, Mich. She said that she didn't know anyone from Michigan, and the money was a much-needed Christmas miracle.

So you're not alone in believing in Santa Claus -- you're a member of a very large fellowship.

To all my Christian readers, a very Merry Christmas to you all!

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I live in the same city. I occasionally baby-sit my niece when her regular baby sitter -- a neighbor -- can't, which means when my sister works after 5 o'clock or a family emergency comes up. I have always been happy to play with my niece and I have never charged for my time.

My problem is, my sister has increased her need for my services. When I inform her that I can't do it because of prior commitments, she lays a guilt trip on me about how badly she needs me and I'm the only person she trusts. She begs and bribes to get me to cave in -- then she'll say that she can get a friend to baby-sit "if she must."

I reached the breaking point when she assigned me to baby-sit so she could volunteer for a political campaign and take some evening college classes. I don't want to have to give up most of my spare time to baby-sit. How can I decrease my sister's dependence on me? -- FEELING USED IN DES MOINES

DEAR FEELING USED: Your sister has taken advantage of your generous nature. You can lessen her dependency by being less available and not knuckling under when she pressures you. Please understand that she will continue to take advantage only as long as you continue to allow it.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Daddy died a year ago. He was an avid sportsman who left behind a large gun collection. Mama is planning to sell it, with the help of a close friend of Daddy's.

This friend told Mama a few weeks ago that he thought some of the guns were missing. After some encouragement, she filed a police report. To make a long story short, some of the guns were located in a pawn shop. The thief was my baby sister "Jan's" fiance. He admitted to Mama that he took the guns a month after Daddy died. He had a key to the house and found the key to the gun cabinet, which she had hidden in her underwear drawer.

Mama has not pressed charges because of my sister. Jan claims she "loves" this felon. She says he is "so sorry" and "remorseful" and she knew nothing about the theft. Abby, my sister's 12-year-old daughter lives in the house with them, and her natural father is ignorant of this whole mess. Jan says she and her fiance have been to a counselor, who told them they should stay together.

Mama now feels violated and unsafe in her own home. We find it unbelievable that Jan can even look this guy in the eye, much less continue to live with him. Her financial picture is not good, and our parents gave her money for years that they could not afford. I think the guy belongs in jail, but only Mom can bring charges. As long as this thief is in Jan's life, our family will be in turmoil. What should we do? -- STABBED IN THE BACK IN VIRGINIA

DEAR STABBED IN THE BACK: Your sister's fiance appears to be a sociopath or druggie -- possibly both -- and I doubt whether any licensed counselor told her they should stay together. The man must no longer be allowed in your mother's home, and her locks should be changed to ensure it.

Your niece's father should be informed about everything that has transpired. If he doesn't want custody, your niece should be assured that she can come to you if she needs to talk to you about "anything." Although you cannot force your mother to put your sister's fiance in jail, that is where he belongs. By not pressing charges, your mother is enabling him to continue his criminal behavior.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I both came from "the wrong side of the tracks," but have done better than the odds predicted we could for ourselves and our children. We have a 2-year-old and a newborn, both planned.

Recently, my mother-in-law, "Martha," was arrested by Children's Social Services and my 11-year-old sister-in-law was removed from her care. My husband and I have discussed attempting to get custody before, so this could be a blessing in disguise.

My problem is I do not want Martha in my home. My mother-in-law stole credit cards and bank cards from me when she was our roommate. Because we have babies in the house and are doing so well -- I have a job and am completing my college degree, and my husband is also employed and will be starting school soon -- I do not want this person in my house. We have worked too long and hard for what we have. Can you give us any suggestions? Lord knows we could use some help. -- MEGAN IN MIAMI

DEAR MEGAN: Considering your mother-in-law's history, your reasons for not wanting her in your house are understandable. Because she was arrested for abusing (or neglecting) her daughter, it's possible that she could be considered a danger to the child and ordered by the court to stay away from her and your house. Please look into it. An attorney can help you.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)