DEAR ABBY: Our family is getting a foreign exchange student -- our first. Out of the blue, my parents decided he would get my room, and I'd have to share my sister "Susan's" room with her.

Susan is a year and a half older than I am. She has a bad attitude and calls me a geek and a nerd. Her friends are mean to me, too. I am not looking forward to rooming with her, but I don't want to seem selfish, so I'm going along with it. What can I do to get through 10 months of this?

Also, how do you interact with a foreign exchange student? Do I help him learn English, or just stay out of his way? I really have no idea. Thank you for any help you can offer. -- WARY IN THE WEST

DEAR WARY: You appear to be more mature than your older sister, who tries to make herself feel important by picking on her sibling. While I am sure she's no more thrilled than you are at giving up her privacy to accommodate the exchange student, I'm sure you can get through the next school year by showing respect for each other's boundaries and making an extra effort to learn to share.

The best way to interact with your foreign exchange student would be to offer your friendship -- and any other help he needs to adjust to his new surroundings. Introduce him to friends, show him around the neighborhood, and answer his questions just as you would like him to do for you if the situation were reversed.

This will not only be a learning experience for the young man, but also for you and your family. Hosting a foreign exchange student will open your mind and expand your horizons in ways you can't imagine. It could also be the beginning of a lifelong friendship.

Consider this: Ten months with your sister is a small price to pay for what will be an extremely rewarding experience.

DEAR ABBY: I am being married in a month. Is it a good idea to take my 4-year-old son on the honeymoon? I can't get comfortable with the idea of leaving him behind with my mom and his father. My fiance has no problem taking the baby on our honeymoon. We have lived together since the baby was 6 months old, and he loves him as his own.

Everyone is telling us this is a bad idea. We're planning to be away for 12 days. I'm worried my son will miss us so much that he'll be traumatized. I don't know what to do. Plus, my son's father isn't very consistent about discipline and routine. I need your advice. -- DESPERATE MOM IN MIAMI

DEAR DESPERATE MOM: Please get a grip. A 4-year-old boy is no longer a "baby" -- and between your mother and his father, your little boy will be fine. A 12-day separation will not traumatize him, and it is time you should be devoting to your new husband. If there is any "missing" going on, I'm willing to bet it will be your own separation anxiety manifesting itself, not his.

Although your son may cry when you leave, your mother and the boy's father will know how to distract him. All you need to do is make clear to your son that you want him to have a good time while you're away, and Mommy will be back soon.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: Fourteen years ago, when my daughter was 4, my older sister, "Jennifer," was visiting. She was conversing with people at my dinner table, and my 4-year-old daughter was seated next to her. Jennifer was swearing and using vulgar language. (When I was younger, we could never even say "jeez" in front of Jennifer's children.)

My daughter tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Aunt Jenny, you shouldn't be saying words like that in front of me." My sister turned to her and said, "Listen, you little s---. You can't tell me what to say and not to say!" I haven't spoken to Jennifer much since that evening. She sent me a T-shirt soon afterward that said, "Get over it!"

Well, 14 years later, I still haven't. She never apologized to me or my daughter. My niece (Jennifer's daughter) thinks we should talk. I can't imagine anything I could have done in my younger years to have her retaliate in such a way. My niece says I should just let it go. Help! It still bothers me. -- SUE IN OXFORD, CONN.

DEAR SUE: Your sister should have apologized, but obviously she wasn't big enough to do it. What happened 14 years ago was extremely regrettable. However, enough water has flowed under the bridge since then to have washed away your sister's sins. I agree with your niece. It's time to let bygones be bygones. However, when your sister is under your roof, never give her anything stronger than apple juice.

DEAR ABBY: My life has been a roller coaster. I am 27, have three lovely kids and am in my fourth marriage. I have finally found my soul mate. However, our relationship is rocky.

I love this man with all my heart, but we do not have what I consider a true marriage. We have our own money, pay our own bills and live our own lives. How can a marriage work like that? We have our ups and downs just like everyone else. One of our arguments recently became heated, and I don't know how to let it go and move on.

Will my marriage work? I am desperate! This is my fourth, and I really want it to work. What can I do? -- ON A ROLLER COASTER IN PARIS, TEXAS

DEAR ON A ROLLER COASTER: Ask your husband if he also wants the marriage to work -- because if the answer is yes, you both have a lot of work ahead of you. Your relationship sounds more like a partnership than a marriage. And if the argument you mentioned escalated into a physical altercation, there are serious anger issues to consider.

If your husband is willing, the two of you should start talking with a licensed marriage and family counselor as soon as possible. If he's not, then consult one alone, because you may have married the same man four times.

DEAR ABBY: I am curious about why so many people exaggerate their height. A lot of movie actors and professional athletes do this. They all say they are taller than they actually are. What gives? -- DAN IN PERTH AMBOY, N.J.

DEAR DAN: They mistakenly associate height with masculinity, and therefore sex appeal. Of course, the true measure of a man is from his eyebrows up, and sex appeal is based far more upon what's between the ears than on the tape measure.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR READERS: Yesterday, I printed some of the reactions I received to a letter I got about a disabled person whose wheelchair overturned, and who was left lying on the sidewalk by passers-by who failed to offer assistance. Today's responses are examples of how little it takes to help someone in distress, and how each of us is capable of assisting someone in need. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My aunt was driving her power scooter up the new access ramp at the local library when it suddenly flipped and landed on top of her, pinning her down like a beetle on its back. When she looked up, she found herself staring into the face of a smiling young man whose first words were, "What's wrong with this picture?" It turned out he was the engineer who had built all the walkways.

On her next visit to the library, true to his word, the problem with the ramp had been corrected. If that gentleman happens to read this, I just want to say "thank you." You made her day. -- GRATEFUL NIECE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: Last fall, I fractured my ankle badly and was in a wheelchair for almost two months. I call it my character-building experience. I never realized how hard it is for the disabled to get things done. However, my experience with people was the complete opposite of "Horrified's."

People would dash in front of me to open doors. I can't count the number of times I heard, "Do you need my help?" from complete strangers. I always believed there were wonderful people in the world, and my experience confirmed it. -- GLAD I LIVE IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR ABBY: I have witnessed the opposite of what happened in Dover, Del. As I sat in an airport waiting for my flight to leave, I heard a loud crash and turned to see someone fall down the steps of an escalator. I started toward her, but saw at least five people closer than I was rushing to her. Every single person in the immediate vicinity responded instantly with compassion. -- SACRAMENTO FLIER

DEAR ABBY: "Horrified's" letter reminded me of a quote that I came across years ago. It changed my way of thinking about life and has made me a braver person. It goes something like this: "I wondered why 'somebody' didn't do something. Then I realized, I was somebody."

Sometimes people are self-conscious about taking public action. They assume it will be taken care of by someone who is more experienced or assertive. Perhaps people need to be reminded that we are all "somebodies" with the power to help and make a difference, however small that action might seem. -- CAROL IN POTSDAM, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: I was at a traffic light and noticed a man near the side of my van had tipped over in his wheelchair. He had no legs and was stuck between the fence, the ground and the bus stop bench.

I told my 4-year-old daughter not to move, put on my hazard blinkers and went to offer assistance. I picked up his wheelchair and was struggling to pick him up, and still nobody helped. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a truck whipped into the nearby parking lot and the driver picked the man up in one swoop, put him in his chair and left in seconds!

I have a bulging disc in my back, but still I was determined to help the man in the wheelchair. I am still amazed at the kindness of the person who came to the rescue of both me and the man who had the accident. -- CINDY, OUT WEST

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)