DEAR ABBY: I am a young mother who is stuck at a fork in the road. Whichever path I choose will lead to guilt and regret.

I love my son more than anything, like any mother does, but he always wants to be at his father's house -- no matter what. My son asks me four times a day -- or more -- when he will return to his father's house. I feel as though he wants his father more than me. His father tells me he has to force our son to return to my house.

Abby, I have done nothing but pour sweat and love into my son. I have done everything a 20-year-old can do to raise my boy.

My problem is, my father works for a college, and I can attend for free. But it's 840 miles away. Custody has never been established between my son's father and me, and he does not want my son to go with me. My son does not want to come, either.

I have never been to college. I work for $8 an hour and have been for three years. The thought of leaving my son kills me. I want to take this opportunity, but at the same time I wonder if I should just stay with my job and be near my son. I cry over this every day. Please help me decide. -- TORN IN COLORADO

DEAR TORN: I'm glad to help. You should definitely take the opportunity to complete your education, which will help you to better provide for yourself and your child in the future.

However, before you go, I strongly recommend that you discuss the situation with an attorney who specializes in family law. I don't know what has been going on in your house -- or your child's father's house -- that has biased the boy the way it appears he has been. But a custody arrangement should absolutely be worked out before you leave, and it may take a judge to decide what would be appropriate. I can't do it for you via long distance.

DEAR ABBY: I met this guy a while ago, and we started hanging out and having sex. We introduced our kids to each other, I met his family, and we have been together ever since.

The problem is, he's now saying that we are just friends with benefits. It hurts to hear that. He told me in the beginning that he was looking for a serious relationship. I don't know how to deal with this because I have fallen for him. I have turned other guys away because I believed we had an exclusive relationship.

Please tell me what to do. Should I find someone who wants me for me -- and more than a friend with benefits? Or should I wait it out and see what happens? -- LOST FOR WORDS IN LIMA, OHIO

DEAR LOST FOR WORDS: The "guy" you've been seeing is not ready or willing to turn in his bachelor button for a boutonniere. He may also be commitment-phobic. Although it is painful, be grateful he was honest about it.

The time has come to tell him that being a "friend with benefits" was not what you signed on for -- and goodbye. You should definitely look for someone who wants what you do in a relationship. And because it can take time to find, start now. Waiting it out with this "guy" would be a waste of time.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: Why do I keep meeting married men? I need a single or widowed man. If they're not married, they are too old! I am a wonderful widow. However, I am attracted to married men. Any remedies for me? Help! -- THE WIDOW QUEEN IN N.Y.C.

DEAR WIDOW QUEEN: It might help if you stop identifying yourself as royalty. You didn't mention your age, but if you are over 50, part of the problem may be that most men in your demographic are already coupled up, which narrows your field of available candidates. It is also possible that, for whatever reason, you are still not emotionally ready to give yourself completely to anyone, which is why you find unavailable men more attractive.

Some ways to widen your circle would be to join a singles group, become politically active, and/or venture onto the Internet and join some of the popular match-making sites where you can meet men who are eligible and looking for partners. Of course, that will mean learning current Internet dating etiquette and remembering what it was like when people used to meet in nightclubs. (As I recall, you couldn't necessarily believe everything you were told then, either.) I personally know several couples who met on the Internet and are happily married. Good luck, and good hunting.

DEAR ABBY: In 2002, my brother "John" was arrested for sex crimes against his stepdaughters. He's in prison until 2010 at the most. I have refused contact and have disowned him. John is now my parents' son. The only thing I feel toward him is hate.

I am a survivor of molestation myself. My parents can't understand my feelings. Mom is mad at the whole family because no one will take him in so he can be paroled. They live in Florida, and according to the prison review board, their address was denied by the state of Florida.

I have tried to make my mother realize that my feelings are mine. I don't tell her not to love John, so she shouldn't try to make me love him. He touched me inappropriately when we were young, but she wouldn't believe me. I know I am right -- or at least, I hope I am -- and I respect your opinion enough that I need to hear you say "yea" or "nay." Thank you. -- PRESSURED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PRESSURED: Do not allow your mother to lay blame or guilt at your feet. It doesn't belong there. You are under no obligation to shelter the person who molested you as a child.

If your parents had believed you when you told them then, they might have gotten help for your brother while he was still young enough to receive it, and he wouldn't have acted out against his stepdaughters. Because they didn't he is where he is today, and it's where he belongs. You need me to tell you "yea"? Well, here it is: YEA!

DEAR ABBY: What do you say to someone who responds to an invitation with an endless recital of allergies, food and animal dislikes, physical problems, numerous needy relatives and their great lack of money? -- SORE EAR ANYWHERE

DEAR SORE EAR: You say, "I'm sorry you can't join us for the event. You'll be missed."

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have an excellent friend, "Janis." She's nice, funny, and also very pretty.

One day Janis was asked if she wanted to have sex with the hottest boy in our middle school. Because she's my best friend, I would have thought she'd say no. Then I found out she had sex in the back of his parents' van. Abby, I can't believe Janis did that. She's only 12!

That was about three months ago. Now she thinks she's pregnant. Her parents haven't even found out about this yet. Janis is telling me not to tell. I don't know what to do. Please help. -- WORRIED IN GEORGIA

DEAR WORRIED: Some secrets are meant to be kept, but this isn't one of them. Whether your friend is pregnant or not, she needs to be seen by a doctor because she has become sexually active. It's time to tell your mother what you know, because Janis needs to inform her parents -- and it might be better if she has an adult who is not emotionally involved with her when she does.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, who is going into the sixth grade, frequently invites her best friend, "Taylor," over for sleepovers. The problem is, Taylor is very forgetful. She misplaces things each time she visits, no matter how many times we remind her to keep track of her things.

During the last sleepover, Taylor lost an expensive video game. We all tore the house apart looking for it without success. Needless to say, Taylor's mother was not happy with us. Are we in some way obligated to replace her lost items, or does the responsibility fall on Taylor? -- "MONICA'S" MOM

DEAR MOM: The responsibility falls on the person who brought the item to your home. Taylor's mother's unhappiness is misplaced.

The next time the young lady is invited over for a sleepover, suggest that she make a checklist of the items she's bringing, so she can refer to it when she's gathering her things to go home. It also might help her become better organized.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Cheryl" and I have been friends for three years. We became best friends last year. I started being nice and going on a coffee run every Friday morning for her and another co-worker. The co-worker pays for her coffee every week. Cheryl doesn't, but expects it.

Last year it didn't bother me because we would go to happy hour after work, and Cheryl would pay since I had bought the coffee in the morning. Well, things have now changed, but she still wants coffee. She has never offered to pay.

I am unsure how to tell her she must pay or she won't get any more coffee. It has become very expensive, and I am on a tight budget now. We also are no longer best friends, but we're still friendly. I'm afraid of ruining the relationship just because of the coffee. What should I do? -- COFFEE CADDY IN MCKINNEY, TEXAS

DEAR COFFEE CADDY: Before you fetch Cheryl one more cup of coffee, have a frank chat with her and explain that your budget no longer allows you to treat her. If the relationship is ruined because you asked her to pay for her own coffee, then face it -- it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)