DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, I was diagnosed with a severe allergy to cold. I cannot touch, eat, breathe or be exposed to cold temperatures without serious risk to my life in the form of anaphylactic shock. Over the course of the last two years, I have learned how to manage this allergy and avoid most triggers, with the exception of the elements during winter months. I applied for and was issued a handicapped permit by the state that allows me to park as close as possible to buildings so I am exposed for the shortest time possible.

With the exception of this severe allergy, I am a young, healthy, 25-year-old female. I have no physical disability. When I park in a handicapped space and get out of my car, I get accusing looks, glares, comments muttered under people's breaths, and one man even shook his head at me -- like, "How dare you?"

I never know how to respond. It makes me feel embarrassed, angry and guilty. I avoid parking in handicapped spaces unless it is absolutely unavoidable due to extreme wind, cold, snow, ice, etc.

Can you advise me how to handle these situations? And please remind people that just because a person doesn't have an obvious physical deformity it doesn't mean he or she isn't eligible for handicapped parking. -- SCAPEGOATED IN SYRACUSE, N.Y.

DEAR SCAPEGOATED: Many people suffer from hidden disabilities that are not obvious to the casual observer. My advice is to ignore the people who give you dirty looks and go on with your business.

If, however, you are challenged about parking in a handicapped zone, inform the person that you have a permit to do so which is on file with the Department of Motor Vehicles -- and if that person wants to check, he or she should write down your license number and question the authorities. You are under no obligation to discuss your disability with a stranger, and I'd advise against it.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with my parents. Even though I don't have a boyfriend, they think I'm on with some boy. They are not ready to trust me. They feel I might run away with that boy someday.

It might be a surprise to you that I do not wear any sort of Western clothes because they don't like it. They are not even ready to give me the freedom to choose my career. What should I do so that they will trust me? Please help me. -- SAD GIRL IN KUWAIT

DEAR SAD GIRL: If you are wise, you will earn your parents' trust the easy way -- by volunteering information. Could the reason they don't trust you be that you don't tell them anything, so they assume you have something to hide? Or could it be that what you told them wasn't exactly true?

In building trust, actions speak louder than words. It isn't what you say but what you do that matters. Whom do YOU trust? Those who have shown you by their actions that they can be trusted. So, show your parents that they can trust you, and I am sure they will eventually do so.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 34 years old and have two wonderful kids ages 12 and 8. I am a single mother, employed part time. I live with my parents and need some advice.

I recently met someone. He is a 35-year-old firefighter who coaches football and has a child of his own. The night we met it was nice. We engaged in physical activity. He said he was interested in me, and I told him likewise.

He called me the next two days -- and that was it! I have called him several times since the last time he called me, and everything seemed fine with him. However, we have not really had a long conversation. He said he wanted to get to know me better, so I don't understand why he doesn't call me anymore.

I e-mailed him that if he wanted me to stop calling, then I would appreciate it if he would just let me know. But he hasn't told me anything. I don't know if he's just really busy with work or what, but I really like this man and enjoyed his company, and wonder if he enjoyed mine too. Please help me understand what the problem is. -- LOST IN GUAM

DEAR LOST: The problem is you engaged in "physical activity" with him too soon. Now the mystery is gone, the excitement of the chase is gone, and he is gone. While it might be nice of him to say goodbye, silence sends a message that speaks volumes. It's saying he is no longer interested.

DEAR ABBY: Over the years I have enjoyed seeing the letters in your column about the kind, helpful things people do -- the good deeds that brighten someone's day. I would like to offer one from my own family.

When my son was 5, he was a very active little boy. I was forever "losing" him in stores. I would usually find him hiding in clothing racks, etc.

One day I couldn't find him. After a frantic search, I finally found him in the women's restroom helping an elderly woman in a wheelchair with the doors. I began to scold him when she said, "Please don't do that. He was the only one who offered to help me." It was then that I realized what a caring little boy he was -- and still is today as a grown man. -- NANCY IN SANTA CLARA, CALIF.

DEAR NANCY: Your little boy was, indeed, kind and empathetic. However, the incident you have described happened many years ago. Today, I am sad to say, parents must impress on their young children the possible danger of wandering away with an adult they don't know.

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I have never seen in your column. My jealous husband created a fictional online character and contacted me through a Christian support e-group. I began corresponding with this person via e-mail. This was a character designed to match all my preferences.

When he offered to meet in person, I refused, but he continued to increase the intimacy of the messages until I eventually expressed dissatisfaction in my marriage. That is when my husband revealed that HE was my fantasy friend.

Now neither of us is sure we can trust each other -- after 18 years of marriage. Should I forgive and forget? -- BETRAYED IN CLEVELAND

DEAR BETRAYED: Yes, and so should he. From where I sit, this could be a golden opportunity to improve your marriage through marriage counseling. Maybe if your husband tries harder to be the man he knows you want him to be, he will have less to worry about in the future. (And you will have less to be dissatisfied about.)

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I find myself in a situation I am not sure how to handle. My mother has adopted my 10-year-old nephew. The boy has severe mental and emotional problems because of the home environment he was in with my sister.

Mom and I often talk about what we want to happen if something should happen to us. We know we need to get wills and living wills made. My problem is, if something should happen to Mom and my stepdad, I will be the logical choice to get my nephew.

I have two young children to consider if I take him in. The boy has already shown predatory tendencies. He has spent six months in a mental hospital because of his problems. I do not want to bring him into my home if I cannot trust him with my children. At this point, I don't like leaving him alone in the house with them even if I am outside.

Abby, I don't want my nephew to leave the family, but I cannot risk my children's safety and bring him into my home. Should I tell Mom that I'll take him in if something happens to her, or tell her I can't risk having him in my home? -- NEEDS HELP IN ARKANSAS

DEAR NEEDS HELP: Because you feel your nephew would be a danger to your children, the answer to your question is no. You should tell you mother as soon as possible that in the event that anything happens to her and your stepfather, she should have other arrangements in place regarding the child.

DEAR ABBY: Can you help me understand a weird quirk I have noticed with a friend of mine? I'll call him "Jerome."

Jerome is a middle-aged professional man with a college degree. However, he has this habit of seeking out free food. Jerome shows up at store grand openings, automobile dealer promotions, new home communities -- you name it. If there's free food being served, he will find it and be the first in line. It makes no difference that he doesn't shop at the place, need a new car, or has no plans to buy in the subdivision.

Can you explain why someone like Jerome would go to such lengths for a free plate of food? -- MYSTIFIED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MYSTIFIED: It may be that your friend can't resist trying to get something for nothing. Or it may not be food he's after at all. He may like to mingle in a crowd because he's lonely.

DEAR ABBY: I started high school this year. It's the second day of school, and I'm already feeling overwhelmed. There is just too much work, and I can't keep up with it all. What should I do? -- PANICKED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR PANICKED: Your feelings are normal for anyone in a new environment, so calm yourself. Recognize that high school is different from grammar school and/or middle school because more responsibility for learning is placed on the shoulders of the student. That's a good thing, because it will teach you how to prioritize and budget your study time wisely.

Try to pinpoint exactly what it is that's making you feel overwhelmed. If it's the volume of work, then you will have to sacrifice something else in your schedule in order to keep up with it. If it's the nature of the work, you should talk to your teachers now about possibly getting extra help so you won't fall behind.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)