DEAR ABBY: Your response to "Smitten in North Texas" (Aug. 17), who was romantically interested in his deceased father's wife, was not entirely correct.

True, there is no blood relationship between the two, but a relationship of a romantic nature between them is akin to incest because of the previously established relationship of a stepmom/stepson.

A more appropriate response would have been to advise "Smitten" to check the legality of such a relationship in the state of Texas with a family law attorney qualified to practice in that state. -- PAT IN PRICHARD, W.VA.

DEAR PAT: Thank you for writing and pointing out, so gently, that my answer was off the mark. I'm afraid it's time to drag out the old wet noodle, because after reviewing the mail I have received from readers around the country regarding that letter, "Smitten" should definitely consult an attorney -- and possibly a clergyperson -- before taking the relationship to the next level. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I wish to correct a flaw in your advice to "Smitten in North Texas" regarding a potential marriage to his now-former stepmother (his father having passed away). You advised the young man to go ahead with the relationship should he wish.

Under the current Texas Family Code, Chapter 6, Section 6.206: "A marriage is void if a party is a current or former stepchild or stepparent of the other party."

Therefore, under current Texas law, "Smitten" and his stepmother could not achieve a legally binding marriage. They would have to move to another state without such a provision to take that course of action. -- AWAITING MY BAR EXAM RESULTS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: Regarding your advice to "Smitten," be aware that some states, including Texas, outlaw marriage to your stepmother as incestuous. Others are Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee and Oklahoma. -- CLEM IN WALLINGFORD, PA.

DEAR ABBY: If the young man's mother is alive, how would she receive her son's new mate, who used to be her ex-husband's wife? "Smitten's" mother could be an undue source of stress in his marriage, and he should be alerted to that fact. -- OFFERING A WARNING IN HOUSTON

DEAR ABBY: "Smitten" may be in trouble regarding the Bible's prohibition stating that "You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father's wife; it is your father's nakedness." (Leviticus 18:8.) A better suggestion would be to consult a knowledgeable ecumenical authority. -- MARLON IN ROSAMOND, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I'm afraid this time you misled your readers. In all heavenly religions (including Christianity, Islam, Judaism, etc.) if a man marries a woman -- providing having a sexual relationship between them -- his son may NEVER enter wedlock with his stepmother in any way at all! You do not have the right to allow them to marry. To do so would be irreligious, unethical and sinful. You owe palliation to pious readers. -- FATHER K., A MUSLIM READER

DEAR ABBY: I found it very interesting that in describing the "deeper, most romantic kind of love" that young man said he has for a former stepmother, the first on his list of attributes about her was that she is "built" (and don't forget "pretty"). Sounds like true love to me!

-- CYNICAL IN CHICAGO

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: After an unhappy, sexless 12-year marriage, I divorced my husband. Six months later I met a handsome, divorced dermatologist on the Internet. We were immediately attracted to each other and, six weeks later, he invited me to move in with him, which I did.

Last week after I picked up our clothes at the dry cleaner and checked them as I loaded them into the car, I came across an expensive black lace bra, size 36DD. (I am a small B.) I became very upset -- I tend to be the jealous type -- and threw it out the sunroof of my car onto the freeway on my way home.

When my boyfriend got home from his medical meeting that night, I confronted him. He told me it had to have been mistakenly added to our order, and asked me what I had done with it. When I said I had thrown it out, he became irate and ordered me to look for it.

The next day, his friend (a lawyer) called me and told me the bra was evidence in a sexual assault case. He said it had DNA on it and he needed it for court. He said I should go back to the freeway and look for it. I did, but could not locate it.

I feel guilty for losing my temper and for possibly causing the lawyer to lose this important case. My boyfriend is still mad at me. How can I make this right?

-- TRUSTING IN L.A.

DEAR TRUSTING: You need to develop a strong sense of skepticism. I have heard some tall tales in my time, but the one the lawyer told you takes the cake.

If the bra was evidence of a felony in a court of law, it would have been in police custody, not your laundry hamper. Also, once it had been through the dry cleaning process, any DNA would have been compromised.

Your boyfriend is not only a cheater, he's also trying to avoid buying the woman a replacement bra. Rather than trying to make this right, you should be shedding the skin doctor.

DEAR ABBY: I need help deciding what to do about my last name. I am going through a divorce and am not sure if I should return to my maiden name.

I was married more than 35 years and my children are grown with families of their own. Many women have told me they wouldn't keep their married name -- that a divorce is a new start, and I'm not "that person" anymore.

It's just that I'm so used to my married name -- but then again, I only took the name because I got married. Please help me decide. -- IN NAME ONLY, PHOENIX

DEAR IN NAME ONLY: The women who are urging you to take back your maiden name are doing so because they wanted to close an unhappy chapter in their lives and have as few reminders as possible. There are no hard-and-fast rules about this subject. If you are comfortable using your married name, then continue to do so. If you wouldn't mind correcting people who have known you for the last 35 years and telling them, "My name is now ..." then go ahead and change it.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)

DEAR ABBY: I could not disagree more with your advice to "Ticked Off in San Diego" (Aug. 18), whose mother forced her and her siblings to attend a church service before they could celebrate Father's Day. You implied that "Ticked" should acquiesce to her emotional blackmail and just go to church. Not only does that endorse the hateful, overbearing crone ramming her religious beliefs down everyone's throats, but it doesn't take into account the whole point of attending church.

People go to church to express their worship and have an uplifting, meaningful experience -- not just sit there because some domineering old woman forces them to.

At 50 years old, "Ticked" is entitled to make her own choices. Her right to not participate in organized religion should be respected and takes precedence over a selfish family member browbeating everyone into submitting to her childish demands. One of the most dangerous and distasteful things about modern society is how free people feel to force their religious beliefs on others. -- RELIGION-FREE IN PHOENIX

DEAR RELIGION-FREE: I advised "Ticked Off" to offer to pick up her parents after church to take them out to celebrate, rather than going to their home to share a meal. I added that if her mother refused, "Ticked" may have to "bite the bullet," sit through the service, and ultimately have fewer regrets when her parents are gone.

I was impressed by the many thoughtful and spirited responses I received from readers citing personal experiences to support their views -- which, by the way, differ greatly from yours. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Shouting, "You can't tell me what to do!" sounds more like 15 than 50. It's time to grow up, "Ticked." Your parents are in their 80s. If you haven't persuaded them to change their views in the last 30 years or so, you're not likely to do so now.

A church service lasts an hour. So suck it up, put a smile on your face, and go to please your parents. Putting someone else's pleasure ahead of your own for a few minutes won't kill you, and there may not be all that many more opportunities for you to be together. Don't waste these being petty and standing on what you perceive to be "principle." -- KAREN IN ERIEVILLE, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: For a senior citizen who is active in church, this may be his or her main social circle. My guess is that Mom wants the "kids" to join her in church so she can introduce them to all her friends. She is probably proud of their accomplishments and wants to show them off. Many churches also have special recognition for families in attendance, and Mom doesn't want to be left out.

Spend every minute you can with your parents. Mine passed away when I was in my teens. Trust me -- church is a far better place than the ICU for bonding with Mom and Dad. -- JO IN FRANKLIN, TENN.

DEAR ABBY: I am an atheist, but I go to Christmas Mass every year with my grandmother. It is what she wants for Christmas and an easy enough request for me to fulfill. What harm is there in attending a church service to make a loved one happy? Although I am not converted afterward, she is thrilled with the fact that I attended.

By the way, at last year's Mass, I was the only one who offered to give up his seat to a little old lady who was limping up the aisle with a cane. My grandmother said, "Well, at least you ACT like a Christian," and we both laughed. -- MORAL ATHEIST IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR ABBY: My mom died when I was 12. My dad died when I was 29. Some people don't know when they are lucky. I wish I had the chance to be around cranky old parents. -- BOB IN ALPHARETTA, GA.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)