DEAR ABBY: I am a stay-at-home mother with three young children. I have become friends with another stay-at-home parent. We share many things in common, and our children are great playmates. The problem is, my friend is a man.

Even though both of us are happily married, sometimes we feel awkward spending time together. Our spouses are not thrilled about us hanging out together, but they haven't forbidden it because they trust us to be faithful.

Is it appropriate for a man and a woman to spend time together while their spouses are at work? -- AT HOME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN'S HUSBAND

DEAR AT HOME: It depends upon the individuals involved and whether there is a physical attraction. In your case, because you "sometimes feel awkward spending time together," I suggest you limit it -- because what you're feeling may be sexual tension.

Has it occurred to you to include other stay-at-home parents in these visits? That might be a way to diffuse the situation without ending the friendship.

DEAR ABBY: I have a courtesy question regarding personal (not business) e-mails. Should a person's e-mail be "private" and accessible to others only after they are asked and have given permission? Or are e-mail messages "open season," in that anyone with access to someone's PC and password can open the e-mail and browse at will?

I recently discovered my wife reading my e-mail, and I was upset that she had opened it without asking my permission. Her response was, "Well, I've got nothing to hide," but that misses the point of privacy and courtesy between married partners.

Shouldn't courtesy require someone -- even a trusted spouse -- to ask before opening someone else's e-mail? -- FEELS INVADED, ST. PETERS, MO.

DEAR FEELS INVADED: If you and your wife share a joint e-mail account, and the e-mail is addressed to both of you, then your wife is within her rights to read it. If not, she should respect your privacy. And vice versa.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are having a minor disagreement, and I hope you'll respond to this letter in the paper so he sees it. (We're both frequent readers of your column.)

We're arguing over what would be an appropriate curfew for our 18-year-old son. My husband believes 2 a.m. is appropriate for weekends, as long as we know where he is and what he'll be doing. I believe it should be 1 a.m.

Our son is a good person. He dabbled with alcohol when he was a bit younger, but he hasn't done it since and is doing well in life. He also has good friends.

Of course, he thinks the 2 a.m. curfew is better. Like father, like son, huh? Abby, which time do you believe is more appropriate as a curfew for our son? -- CURFEW PATROL MOM

DEAR CURFEW PATROL MOM: At 18, your son has become a young man. There is very little difference between a 1 or 2 o'clock curfew on a weekend night. Why not split the difference and make it 1:30?

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I read the letter from Belle K. in Cadillac, Mich. (Oct. 17), who had only the yearbook from her senior year in high school and would like to purchase yearbooks from the other three. She asked if there was some way to get her hands on them.

I have a similar problem. I grew up in one Oklahoma town and moved to another, 7 1/2 hours away, the summer between my junior and senior years. I have lost the yearbook from my sophomore year -- the last in which a dear friend's photo appeared. She was killed in a car accident in January of our sophomore year. In addition to her class picture, one of her poems is featured in that yearbook.

It would mean the world to me to have that memento back. Because the yearbook would be 14 years old, it's unlikely the school has any left. Can you suggest other options for digging those precious memories out of the ashes of time? -- MISSING THE MEMORIES IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR MISSING: I don't have to. After Belle's letter ran, many caring readers offered wonderful suggestions. A sample:

DEAR ABBY: Belle should put an ad in the paper where her old high school is located. That's what I did, and I got a response right away. The wife of a former school counselor called and said she had several. Tell Belle I wish her luck. -- JUDY IN GREEN RIVER, WYO.

DEAR ABBY: As chairman of my high school reunion committee, I have been successful on a couple of occasions in finding old yearbooks on eBay. There's a large selection there. If she can't find them under the "yearbook" category, she should look under "annuals." -- KEN IN KANAB, UTAH

DEAR ABBY: For high school annuals, contact your local library. Old annuals are occasionally donated and sold at book sales by the Friends of the Library. The staff will alert whoever sorts donations to keep an eye out and let you know if the one you're looking for comes in. -- SONIA MURRAY, PRESIDENT, FRIENDS OF BILOXI LIBRARIES

DEAR ABBY: Many historical societies (and public libraries) keep documents such as city directories and yearbooks in an archive. While they normally aren't available for circulation, most organizations have reading rooms where you can peruse the materials, and even take pictures or scans for your own use. (I became familiar with this process through a recent school project.) -- KRISTINA IN PORTLAND, MAINE

DEAR ABBY: I found copies of my high school yearbook at an antique/collectibles store in my hometown -- at an affordable price. -- MICHAEL G., SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR ABBY: eBay or Craigslist! My brother found not only old yearbooks from his era, but class rings as well. -- PATTI IN FREMONT, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: My old high school is now offering yearbooks on CDs, to be viewed in a slide show format. It was a preservation project that's now doing double duty by giving a lot of pleasure to former students whose yearbooks have disappeared for a variety of reasons. Belle should check to see if her alumni association is doing something similar. -- E.J.H. IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR ABBY: Most teachers who served as yearbook advisers keep a store of old yearbooks. I have made many an older grad happy who had lost one to fire or flood. Belle should contact the school. She might get lucky. (There might even be an extra in the school library.) -- BILL K., OAKLAND, CALIF.

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a part-time job taking care of an older gentleman who is disabled. He is very pleasant and interesting, and for the most part I like my job.

There is just one problem. After I bathe him, he wants me to put lotion on his genitals. When I do it, he tells me how good it feels. He has noticed my embarrassment and has said that it is just part of the human body. He also tells me that he likes me doing this because I do it "better than anyone has before."

I have tried to think about it as just a part of the job, but frankly, this situation makes me very uncomfortable, and now I dread going to his house.

I live with my boyfriend, whom I love very much. I have not discussed this with him because I'm too embarrassed and I'm afraid he would get upset. What should I do? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN CORPUS CHRISTI

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: You did not mention exactly how disabled your employer is. If he is physically able to apply the lotion himself, then that's what he should be doing.

If not, then it's time to inform your employer that you are no longer comfortable bathing him and therefore he should hire a male bath attendant. Frankly, what you have described sounds more like erotic massage than regular caregiving, and your feelings are valid.

DEAR ABBY: Every year, when our family gathers for Christmas, my father's wife, "Marian," brings her camera along. She takes pictures of all the kids, and then asks the "non-O'Brien" kids to step aside so she can snap a photo of "just the O'Briens."

One of my brothers has a wife with a son from a previous relationship, and another brother is with a lady who has two children from a previous union. The kids call my parents "Papa" and "Nana" and get upset about being excluded from the photos. Their moms feel the same.

When it happened two years ago, my brother said that if she did it again he would say something. I know I should have talked to Marian and told her not to single out the children, but I didn't want to be put on the spot.

Well, it did happen again -- last Christmas -- and an argument broke out. There were many hurt feelings. Marian said she had done nothing wrong and demanded an apology from my brother. He felt quite the opposite.

Abby, my family lost a baby to SIDS and our mother to cancer at 47. Life is too short to live this way. How can I tell them that no one is right and we're all wrong? Please help! -- HAS ISSUES IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR HAS ISSUES: Who elected Marian the official family photographer in the first place? Perhaps if more people brought cameras to these family get-togethers and snapped pictures, Marian's insensitivity would be less glaring.

This mess will be straightened out faster if you speak to both your brother and Marian and admit your role in it by not speaking up when you should have. Although I can understand Marian's wish for a picture reflecting the "family bloodline," she's ignoring the fact that the "O'Briens" are a blended family -- with an emphasis on the word FAMILY -- and her membership rules are so stringent that even she doesn't qualify.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)