DEAR ABBY: Please let the world know that kind people still exist. I was on my way to two job interviews. Not surprisingly, I was nervous, so before I got off my train, I took my phone out to check the directions to the first one. A short walk later, I reached the subway, but when I went into my purse for my wallet to buy a MetroCard, lo and behold, my wallet and new glasses were missing.

I retraced my steps and ran to the courtesy counter to ask if anyone had turned in my wallet and glass case. The woman in the booth told me the train was still in the station and to hurry there immediately to check for my things. Long story short, no luck.

Heartbroken, I returned to the courtesy desk. Not only would I miss both my appointments, but I was stranded with no money. I burst into tears as I explained the situation to the woman in the booth. Abby, she reached into her purse and handed me $7! "It's all I have right now," she said, "use it to get to your interviews." I went to my interviews and aced them both. When I came back to thank her, she was gone, but she had described me to the woman on the next shift who handed me a courtesy ticket home.

Abby, that woman's kindness was overwhelming. And just when the day couldn't get any better, I received a call. A conductor had found my wallet and glasses and would meet me on the train the next day.

I just want to share that kindness can happen when we least expect it. When it happens, we should pay it forward. -- S. SMITH, ASBURY PARK, N.J.

DEAR S. SMITH: And I know you will. Good deeds are like wildflower seeds. Throw enough of them around and a desert becomes a garden.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a stay-at-home mother with a 4-year-old son. Every summer, my stepson -- who is now 8 -- comes to stay with us. In past years it has been all right, but since the boys have become more rambunctious, it has gotten harder.

Abby, I don't deal well with stress. Having two active boys running around the house has made me extremely nervous. There's a reason I chose to have only one biological child -- I knew I couldn't handle more. I thought a few short summers with a stepchild would be OK. I was wrong.

I have spoken to my husband about my problem; he doesn't seem to understand the amount of strain I am under. I am starting my own business later this year, and my husband doesn't see why I can't bring both boys to my appointments next summer. The younger child would play quietly alone, but not with his half-brother there. What should I do? -- PULLING MY HAIR OUT IN HUNTSVILLE

DEAR PULLING YOUR HAIR: You husband is mistaken. Two active boys should not accompany you to your business appointments, any more than they should accompany your husband to his. Start researching NOW what summer programs are offered in your area for kids so they will be entertained and supervised during the day. Family time can be in the evenings and on weekends, when you are in a better frame of mind to deal with the pandemonium.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman living with a man, but "in love" with another man whom I formerly dated but broke up with because he's an alcoholic. "Spike" is a true biker -- exciting, funny and fun. Our lifestyles didn't mesh, so I made the decision we shouldn't be together. I miss him very much, and it keeps me from being totally committed in my head to the man I live with.

I believe I have commitment problems. I am a psychiatric nurse with 30 years' experience, so I've heard it all and know what I should do, but the issue remains. My boyfriend, "Cal," is a hard-working man with little education who earns very little and cannot help support me. We met when I weighed 300 pounds and had low self-esteem. Still, Cal loved me as I was.

I am a post-gastric bypass patient. I now realize that our lives are very different, and I'm having a hard time accepting that we are meant to be married. I hate the thought of not doing the "right thing" by Cal. I have been faithful. When will I grow up and be able to make the right decision, Abby? -- CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: If you think that "doing the right thing" by someone is to marry him knowing that he isn't right for you, please let me point out that to do so would be a huge mistake. From what you have written, it is clear to me that you have involved yourself with two men who are not suitable for you -- and for the reasons you stated.

While you may be in the mental health profession, it is important that you find a mental health professional who can help you come to terms with the person you have gone through so much to become. I predict that after you do, you will begin making sounder decisions about many things, including whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a volunteer at a veterans hospital here in Maine for the past five years. It has been extremely rewarding. Sadly, I won't be able to continue. Because of the price of gas, I can no longer afford to drive the 100-mile round-trip.

These hospitals are losing many volunteers because of this. If I lived closer, I would continue with the work. I am asking people who live within a reasonable distance of any VA hospital to go sign up. Volunteers are needed as office workers, groundskeepers, people to help transport veterans from building to building in the hospital, and in numerous other positions. I know there are people sitting around bored, with nothing to do. Retired people can sign up, including men.

Abby, volunteers have to take only a short, one-day training class to familiarize themselves with the safety and rules of the hospital. The work is fulfilling, and you even get a free meal if you stay more than three or four hours. -- GLORIA P., FREEDOM, MAINE

DEAR GLORIA P.: As sorry as you are to leave, I'm sure the people at the VA are even sorrier to see you go. Our veterans have given so much to this country, we owe it to them to see they get the help they need. Readers, if you're interested, call your nearest VA hospital and ask for the volunteer office.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law, "Carol," doesn't wash her hands after changing diapers. I find it repulsive, and I can't help but cringe. I have also noticed that her kids don't wash their hands after using the bathroom -- or any other time, for that matter -- unless instructed to do so and closely watched. Even then, they don't use soap.

Carol wonders why her family is always sick. If I say anything to her, I'm sure she'll become defensive or dismiss it as the cause of their illness. Is there a polite, yet firm, way to say something? -- INCREASINGLY GERMOPHOBIC, KENOSHA, WIS.

DEAR GERMOPHOBIC: The idea that Carol would change a diaper and then prepare meals for the family is, frankly, nauseating.

Sometimes there is no polite way to say something, so my advice is to be direct. There is a reason why hospitals constantly impress upon their staff the importance of washing their hands. Years ago, my mother described a poster she saw in the halls of a major hospital. It depicted a silhouette of two outstretched hands, fingers apart. The caption read, "The 10 most frequent causes of disease. Remember to wash your hands." Repeat this to your sister-in-law, and maybe she'll get the message.

DEAR ABBY: I'm the unofficial event planner in my office. I am the one who makes sure people's birthdays are celebrated and comes up with occasional fun events like potlucks. Sometimes I buy everyone pizza (on the company) to keep morale up. I am not management, but I think doing this is important.

Last week my birthday came and went. Abby, not one person remembered! A co-worker from another department got me a card, but no one in my area even mentioned it. I am so bummed.

I remember everyone's birthday and make a big deal out of it with cakes and candles. I'm hurt that they forgot mine. It makes me want to stop being the party planner and do away with birthday celebrations altogether. Is this childish? Or should I just get over it and keep on keeping on? -- CRUSHED IN OHIO

DEAR CRUSHED: You wouldn't be human if being overlooked didn't "smart." However, it's possible that because you have assumed the responsibility of arranging the birthday recognition, that everyone depends on you to let them know when one is coming up.

Because this can be awkward when the birthday being celebrated is your own, in the future, why not post a monthly calendar in your office with the various birthdays written in -- including yours? Also, because you were forgotten this year, tell someone besides me! Guilt can work miracles.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has a checking account with his daughter-in-law. I have told him that I don't like it and feel that it is disrespectful, but he refuses to change it. We do not have a joint account. How should I take this? -- MISTREATED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MISTREATED: This is hardly a vote of confidence in your fiscal responsibility. I'm sorry you didn't elaborate further on the financial arrangements in your marriage. I, too, wonder why he would want his daughter-in-law to have access to his money while keeping it out of your reach.

However, because you signed your letter "Mistreated," it appears you have more problems in your relationship than money, and perhaps if you work those out, the money issue will resolve itself.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)