DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a year. We split all the bills -- rent, utilities, etc. -- in half.

A few nights ago I asked him how he felt about paying for half my birth control pills, which amounts to $40 a month. Because neither of us is ready for children, I think we should share the expense.

Am I out of line to ask my boyfriend to split the cost with me? This has become a hot topic at work. The guys don't agree with me, and surprisingly, most of the women don't, either. What is your take on this? -- ALL IN LOVE IS FAIR

DEAR ALL: As I see it, there are two kinds of expenses when people share a dwelling: joint expenses and those that are personal. Prescription drugs usually fall into the latter category. Unless you are prepared to pay half the cost of his prescription drugs -- including Viagra --- my advice is to back down on this one.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since my best friend, "Wendy," turned 40, she has gone bonkers. Don't get me wrong, some of the craziness is good. We're both starting to lose weight. Wendy also went back to school and seemed to be happy with husband No. 3.

What has me concerned is that Wendy appears to have developed an eating disorder because she's so determined to be the same size as her 21-year-old daughter. She has also become obsessed with an 18-year-old boy, which could end her marriage.

I love Wendy, but when I try to talk to her, she calls me "judgmental" and "holier than thou." Is there anything I can do to help my friend? -- MIDLIFE CRISIS

DEAR M.C.: You may love Wendy, but unless the woman is willing to face up to the fact that she has a problem, there is nothing anyone can do to "help" her. She may be terrified of growing old, not as happy as you thought with husband No. 3, or competing with her daughter. Be supportive, and recommend that she make an appointment with her doctor or a psychologist when the time comes. But until she's ready to listen, she will continue to tune you out.

P.S. I don't know what happened to her first two marriages, but it appears Wendy may be someone who is unable to learn from past mistakes.

DEAR ABBY: My 22-year-old daughter was driving on a busy street when she noticed an older gentleman in running shorts lying on the median. She stopped, turned on her hazard lights and went to help. He was unresponsive, but breathing.

When she called 911, she was told that more than 100 motorists had reported a "dead man" on the street, but no one had stopped to check on him. Police, an ambulance and a fire truck arrived shortly after her call.

Abby, at what point do we become invisible? When do we cease to be important? Would it have been different if that person had been a child or someone in his 30s? Have we lost our humanity? -- DISAPPOINTED IN TAMPA

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I doubt whether the situation would have been different if the man had been in his 30s rather than a senior. If a child had been lying there ... maybe.

The passing motorists may have thought they had "done their duty" by calling 911 and were afraid to do more because they didn't know what else to do. Have we lost our humanity? Some people may have, but your daughter isn't one of them. Orchids to her, and to you, for having raised such a caring -- and proactive -- individual.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a nurse, writing in response to the letter from "Flabbergasted Parents in New Mexico" (July 19). I have worked in small community hospitals and in the emergency rooms of trauma centers in larger cities. Over the years, I have seen many young ladies in their early 20s come into the ER with abdominal pain. When asked if there is a "possibility" that they could be pregnant, they say no. Even after a pelvic exam, when they are being taken up to labor and delivery, they deny they are having a baby.

This is like a pseudo-pregnancy, where the person thinks she is pregnant and has all the symptoms but isn't, in REVERSE. In their minds, these ladies feel that the possibility of pregnancy is not an option -- so mind-over-matter takes over.

"Taryn," the girl in the letter, was probably not lying. She just could not face the truth until her baby actually came. Our bodies are amazing vehicles when you think about it. -- TRISHA IN NORTH BALTIMORE, OHIO

DEAR TRISHA: And so are our minds, apparently. I have a stack of mail on my desk verifying the fact that it's not unheard of for a woman to carry a baby well into pregnancy -- and even to term -- without knowing she's pregnant. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: As an RN, I have seen this happen several times. Most interesting was a middle-aged mother of two teenagers. Because both had been delivered by scheduled C-section, she had never experienced labor pains.

She had always been "chubby" and had been premenopausal with irregular periods for some time. She thought she had finally entered menopause and that the strange sensations she had been experiencing for the past few months were just "gas." Now she was truly scared, thinking the pain she was experiencing meant something was dreadfully wrong.

She and her husband were shocked at the diagnosis -- a full-term pregnancy in active labor! Needless to say, she was taken to surgery for another C-section. -- RN IN TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: In late November of 1964, I went to my M.D. with a horrible backache. I'd had my periods all along and no abdominal discomfort. After examining me, he congratulated me on my near-term pregnancy!

Needless to say, I was caught off guard and questioned the diagnosis. My daughter was born two months later. You could call it the shortest pregnancy ever.

By the way, I'm a nurse and have seen this happen more than once. -- SHERRY IN NEVADA

DEAR ABBY: I had my period the whole nine months. I only learned I was pregnant at seven months because I passed out. I also know of an OB nurse who didn't know she was pregnant until she delivered. (Boy, was SHE surprised!)

If the girl in that letter got pregnant because of rape or sexual abuse, she may have blocked the memory of it happening. As for not knowing what was happening during and after delivery -- if she had blocked out the traumatic event, then she may have blocked out the birth process as well. -- FUTURE COUNSELOR IN SPRINGFIELD, OHIO

DEAR ABBY: I worked for a school of medicine in the Southwest for seven years, and I was amazed at the number of women who had no idea they were pregnant or how it had happened. Sadly, there are still groups of people out there who don't discuss sex, and the consequences of unprotected sex, with their children. Unlikely as it seems, that poor girl may have been telling the truth when she said she "didn't know what was going on." Hopefully, she will now become better educated about such things. -- CONNIE IN COLORADO

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I wrote your mother back in 1985, asking her to encourage my eighth-grade students to establish the wonderful habit of reading. My letter was published in The Portland Oregonian.

I still teach eighth-graders, but now I do it in California. It has been 23 years since your mother wrote my students about the importance of reading.

Today we have computers, text messaging and cell phones. It's a different world now, but reading is still important. Would you write a couple of paragraphs about the joys of reading in your column? Your advice will be heeded by my students and many other students in the country who read your column. Kids relate to celebrities, and you are definitely famous. Thank you for your help. -- RAY SMYTHE, PALM SPRINGS, CALIF.

DEAR RAY AND DEAR STUDENTS: I'm glad to oblige. For anyone who doesn't already know, books are magic! Crack open a book and you will be instantly transported into the past, propelled into the future or, if you choose, escape into a world of fantasy. The options are endless.

But while history, science fiction, mysteries and romance provide a wealth of diversion, reading provides far more than just an escape. The greatest ideas of our most gifted thinkers lie between the covers of books waiting for you to discover them. And don't be put off if the books are labeled "classics." That word means only that they have been enjoyed by every single generation who has read them.

Reading is also a vital skill. Perusing a newspaper or doing research online, in addition to expanding your mind, can also be your transport to a successful future. And there is no more effective way to learn to write than by reading.

P.S. If this skill does not come easily for you, remember that libraries offer classes in literacy. There is no shame in needing extra help in learning to read, regardless of your age. The only shame is in not admitting it so you can get the help you need.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 28-year-old wife and mother. I love my family very much and do not lack the essentials in life. But I can't help feeling my house isn't clean enough, my home isn't good enough and I'm not good enough. Nothing in my life is up to my standards.

I see people all around me who have all of these wonderful things. They travel and have fun. I have nothing of any real worth, and I can't remember the last time I truly had fun.

I don't want to take anti-depressants to cover the problem; I want to feel better. I have considered hiring a life coach to help me find the basis for my feelings, but I am not sure if coaching is for real or where to find it. I do not live in a large city, and money is limited. I want to feel like I, and the things in my life, are enough. Help! –- INSUFFICIENT IN WYOMING

DEAR "INSUFFICIENT": It's a huge mistake to compare what you have to what others do, because you will always find people who have more. True happiness comes from within, not from outside yourself. Travel, fun and possessions are not the nitty-gritty of life. You already have the most important things in life -– a loving and healthy family.

Rather than looking for a "life coach" -– a field that is not yet licensed -– I strongly recommend you look in another direction. Your spiritual adviser would be an excellent place to start, or a licensed mental health professional who can help you put yourself back on track.

What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)