DEAR ABBY: I am a licensed psychologist and the director of a small counseling center at a liberal arts college. Part of my duties include answering emergency calls from students who are in crisis.

A local coed apparently has been regularly giving out my cell phone number to young men she meets in bars whom she does not want to reject on the spot. Abby, you wouldn't believe the calls and text messages I receive at all hours of the day and night. I hear a lot in my line of work, yet some of these calls have made me blush!

Not only is this an inconvenience for me, but it would create a difficult situation for someone in a real crisis who can't get through to me because my phone is tied up with these phone calls and text messages.

Ladies, young and old alike: Please be honest. If you are not interested in the man -- say so! You don't have to annihilate him. Just say that you enjoyed meeting him but the "spark" isn't there, and wish him luck in his dating future. Please do not give him someone else's number. That's a coward's way out, and it is extremely unbecoming. And, at the very least, you are creating an inconvenience for someone else. I know. -- PHONE CALL FIELDER IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PHONE CALL FIELDER: One would think that a person who is old enough to be looking for a good time in an establishment that serves liquor would also be mature enough to charmingly discourage unwanted attention. However, because the situation you have described happens frequently, I am printing your letter.

I agree that giving someone a wrong phone number is cowardly. I have heard from many men who have told me that if a woman isn't interested, she should be direct about it. Believe it or not, the honesty will be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: Thanksgiving will be here soon, and I hope you will help me spread a timely message.

Each year the media cheapens the holiday by referring to it as Turkey Day instead of Thanksgiving. Please remind your readers that the name Turkey Day is both inaccurate and inappropriate. While I think turkeys are charming and entertaining, our family does not gather on the fourth Thursday of November to celebrate the intelligence or majesty of these remarkable birds. Instead, we try to carry on the tradition of the Pilgrims who were thankful for their bounteous blessings after surviving their first winter in the New World.

I believe the expression "Happy Turkey Day" contributes to the dumbing down of America, and that we are falling further and further away from the real meaning behind the holiday with each passing year.

Please help to remind your readers to use the correct name for this important holiday, and let's all have a Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for the opportunity to vent. -- MARK M. IN TAMPA, FLA.

DEAR MARK M.: I agree that it's important not to forget the true meaning of our national holidays. But perhaps the reason so many members of the media -- and others -- refer to Thanksgiving as "turkey day" is because it's the time we allow ourselves to "gobble, gobble, gobble."

Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)

DEAR ABBY: I read about your booklet "How to Write Letters for All Occasions" a few years ago, and I want to let you know how much it helped me recently in writing to my aunt.

You see, my aunt's beloved cat, "Mouser," passed away. Although I didn't know Mouser very well, I did know how much her cat meant to her.

Knowing how much she was hurting, I felt I had to say something -- but what? Then I remembered that your booklet had a section on how to write a condolence letter.

You said: "When writing a condolence letter ... if you come up with a specific memory that you have cherished, relate it. Believe it or not, a humorous incident will be appreciated."

So I sent my aunt a funny incident I remembered about Mouser. She wrote me back a month later thanking me for "moving her thoughts from a very sad place and making her smile." She said my story made her remember other antics she hadn't thought of in a long time.

I know I'm not the only person who has trouble putting feelings down on paper. Please mention your booklet again so your readers will know this invaluable resource is available. -- GRATEFUL READER IN N.Y.

DEAR GRATEFUL READER: Thank you for your sweet note. I'm pleased my booklet was helpful to you. Not everyone can write letters that are literary masterpieces, but anyone can acknowledge a gift, express sympathy as you did, and accept (or decline) an invitation -- and do it properly -- by following a few basic "rules."

While letter writing may always be a chore to some people, there are occasions when the written message is the only proper means of communication. My booklet contains sample letters for almost any occasion, which may be used as patterns from which to write your own letters.

It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds), to Dear Abby -- Letters Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

For anyone who has ever wondered how to begin to compose a charming thank-you note, a letter expressing warm congratulations, a love letter or the opposite -- announce a broken engagement -- "How to Write Letters for All Occasions" will serve as a guide for those who put off writing because they don't know what to say, how to say it or even how to begin.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-husband and his live-in, pregnant girlfriend asked me to help them decorate their soon-to-be new house. (Their affair is what ended our marriage.) They both have commented on what good taste I have and how they like my decorating style. They have even offered to pay for my services.

Abby, is this too weird or what? -- STUCK IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE

DEAR STUCK: I'm not sure I'd call it "weird" as much as I'd call it nervy and insensitive. My question is, how badly do you need the money?

DEAR ABBY: "Hurt in Sacramento" (Aug. 27) wrote that her sister told her that the only reason she existed was because her dad had been trying for a boy after having three girls. Tell her to trust me -- this is a rite of passage.

I am the youngest of three girls. I was told by my middle sister that I was born a boy, and the doctor gave me a shot to make me a girl.

This sister and I fought like cats and dogs when we were young. Finally, when I was 15 and she was 18, we shared a summer together. From that time on we have been the best of friends and would die for each other. I may have endured years of teasing that my parents didn't want me, but the relationship we have now is one I would never trade.

All I needed to know was that my dad loved me no matter what, and growing up I was always attached to my dad's hip -- which may be why my sister needed to put me down. To this day I know I am Dad's favorite, even though he would never say so. Please tell "Hurt" not to listen to her older sister. She should listen instead to her heart. -- DADDY'S LITTLE TAURUS

DEAR D.L.T.: Many readers agreed with you that teasing one's sibling is a rite of passage, and that once people mature, the teasing stops. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, am a sibling with three sisters. However, in my case, I came with the "package." I was 11 months old when Dad met my mom and they married. He adopted me, and then they proceeded to have three more daughters. Dad is proud of each of us in our own way. Being the oldest, I reaped most of the benefits of learning all the things he would have a taught a boy -- hunting, fishing, house and car repairs, to name a few. To this day I thank him for all he taught me as his daughter. -- CINDY IN SOUTH HAVEN, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: I am a former Marine and, most importantly, I am the proud father of two beautiful, intelligent, respectful and wonderful girls. During both of my wife's pregnancies, the only thing I prayed for was a healthy child.

My brother has two boys, and I pity him because he has never been the guest of honor at a formal tea party or attended a daddy-daughter dance. He has never gone to the aid of a damsel in distress by removing a threatening spider from the room. He has never been asked to judge a beauty contest in his own home. He has never had a chance to sit outside a dressing room and watch while all the girls in his life try on clothes and shoes.

A father loves all his children equally and independently. No two are the same -- not even twins. We all say hurtful things that we do not mean when we're fighting. But I guarantee "Hurt in Sacramento" that she and her sister will outgrow the fighting and become best friends. -- PROUD POPPA IN JACKSONVILLE, N.C.

DEAR ABBY: I'm also one of four girls. When my father was asked if he kept having children in order to sire a boy, his response was: "No. We found a good thing and stuck with it!" -- FRAN IN CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: I have an uncle with five kids -- all girls. My father-in-law put it in perspective one day when he said, "Sometimes the daughters come first and the son (in-law) later." He has four sons and a grandson now, and is very proud of his daughters.

If that dad was disappointed by not having a son, he would have been disappointed after the first one -- not the fourth. -- RICK S., SUN PRAIRIE, WIS.

DEAR READERS: Today is Veteran's Day. I would like to thank not only our veterans, but also the men and women who are on active duty, for their service to our country. -- ABBY

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)