DEAR ABBY: After many years of being single, I met a woman I'll call "Trish" on a blind date. We're both in our late 40s, and we hit it off. We have many things in common.

One night I was at her place when she received a phone call. Trish made it short and sweet and hung up. A few minutes later, I asked who it was, and she told me it was her boss. Abby, I know how she answers the phone when it's her boss -- and it wasn't him. When I said, "That was NOT your boss," she admitted it was one of her boss's clients, but said nothing was going on between them.

When I first met Trish, she mentioned that a client had come in one day, had wine and cheese, then leaned over and kissed her. It's the same guy that called -- and he's married.

I am very hurt. We have both been cheated on. I don't think she has cheated, but she lied to my face. My first instinct is to dump her, but I love her. What should I do? -- HURT IN VERMONT

DEAR HURT: Are you and Trish in a committed relationship? If not, you had no right to question her about who was calling.

That said, a person who would lie to you once would lie to you twice. Listen to your gut. She may not be having a physical affair, but something is going on or she wouldn't have tried to mislead you about who was on the phone.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since I was a child, when my mother gave me a gift, as I opened it she would always say that she had bought a bigger, better or prettier gift for me -- but liked it so much she decided to keep it for herself.

Once she told me that she had purchased a jacket for me, but kept it even though she is several sizes smaller than I am. After wearing it a few times, she offered it to me because it was "too big for her."

My mother was the oldest of six children, and I am her only child. Why do you think she behaves as she does? -- WOUNDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WOUNDED: That your mother feels the need on every special occasion to tell you that she comes first indicates that something within herself is missing. As the oldest of six children, was her childhood deprived in some way? Is this her only eccentricity, and is she an ideal mother the rest of the year? I find it sad that your mother is unable to give with a generous heart. If she's this way with a gift, it follows that she must be this way about other things, too.

DEAR ABBY: The other night, some friends and I were visiting and telling stories. In one story, I used the word "sneaked," and everyone corrected my grammar saying that "snuck" is the correct form and "sneaked" is not a word. I disagree.

I hear people use the word "snuck," but I don't think "snuck" is a word. Who is right? -- SECOND-GUESSING MYSELF IN MINNESOTA

DEAR SECOND-GUESSING: "Sneaked" and "snuck" are both words, according to Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition. "Sneaked," however, is more generally accepted among fussy grammarians like me.

DEAR ABBY: Is it proper for a married woman to go out to eat alone when her husband refuses to take her? -- SOLO IN SHERMAN, TEXAS

DEAR SOLO: Absolutely, if she can afford to pay for it and there is enough pet food in the doghouse.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I attended the wedding of two dear friends. The groom's mother, "Millie," made party favors for all the guests -- little gift bags containing sugar-coated almonds and, because the bride and groom are animal lovers, a small glass animal. A few days later, a friend brought her teenage daughter to our home. The daughter admired the two glass animals, so I gave them to her.

I was shocked when, the following weekend, Millie called and asked me to return them. She said she planned to take them back because she would prefer to use the money to buy the couple something they could use. Feeling guilty for "regifting," I responded with the first thing that popped into my head, that I hoped I hadn't "misplaced" them. Millie said she hoped not, too -- they had cost $35 apiece, and she would expect us to reimburse her! Further, we should not mention it to the "happy couple" because of the embarrassment it would cause.

I asked the bride's sister where Millie might have bought the glass figurines under the guise of wanting to get some as gifts for my grad students. I was stunned when she responded that she had purchased an entire case of these inexpensive animals as wedding favors, and that I was welcome to them if I wanted to pick them up from her home.

I'm unclear what motivated Millie to ask for the animals to be returned, or why she would inflate the price and expect to be reimbursed. I understand there was an unpleasant power struggle over the wedding arrangements, but I'm not sure what she hopes to gain from this.

How should this be handled? My husband says I should tell Millie the truth, that we gave them away and we know they cost only 80 cents apiece. What do you say? -- STYMIED IN MARYLAND

DEAR STYMIED: I say Millie is dishonest, and Millie is manipulative, but she's right about one thing: It would create embarrassment if you told the bride and groom what she's been up to.

You were off the hook the minute the bride's sister told you she had a case of the little glass animals. Swing by, pick up a couple and give them to Millie. She's as transparent as they are, and her story about returning them to buy anything for the happy couple is another fabrication.

DEAR ABBY: I have the classic evil stepmom -- except she is my mother, and it's my stepsisters that she mistreats. They are 8 and 6 and have suffered enough through their mother's divorce.

My mother treats them as if they are less than human and don't have the right to be in "her" house. I feel terrible about the way she treats them. I want to do something about it, but I can't say anything to her because that would be disrespectful. Please advise. -- SILENT WITNESS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SILENT WITNESS: Your mother's behavior is despicable. She knew the girls were part of the package deal when she married their father, and she has no right to abuse them.

Because you feel that talking to your mother would be disrespectful, I urge you to tell the girls' father chapter-and-verse about what's happening to his daughters. No law says your mother has to love them, but at the very least, she should treat them with courtesy and respect.

DEAR ABBY: How does one convey a message to one's dentist and his assistants that you would prefer they not discuss personal matters with each other while working on me?

I recognize that they may be so well-trained that they can converse and do these procedures at the same time. But talking over the patient gives the impression that they aren't fully concentrating on the business at hand.

Sitting in the dentist's chair with your mouth propped wide open, it's impossible to say a word. How can this be conveyed in a respectful way? -- DENTALLY DISTRESSED IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR DISTRESSED: One way to get your message across would be to wait until the procedure is finished, then tell your dentist that you feel being treated like a nonentity is rude and insensitive, and you would prefer it not happen when you're in the chair. If you don't have the courage to say it directly, then tell it to his office manager.

An alternative would be to take your business to another dentist because this one needs to practice better chair-side manners. If that's not acceptable, consider bringing an iPod and listening to it to drown out their voices.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl. Over the past couple of years, I have grown very close to my 28-year-old cousin, "Amanda." She lives halfway across the country, but we have kept in touch by e-mail and had fun hanging out together last summer.

I recently heard from relatives that Amanda is planning to get married in a few months. She has not known the man very long, and he has not yet been formally introduced to our family. Amanda doesn't have much money, so they've decided on a small ceremony with only their parents attending.

I'm disappointed that I won't be able to go. I'm also afraid that Amanda and I won't be as close as we have been, since being married is a huge commitment and her priorities may shift.

I have tried talking to her about this, but she hasn't answered my e-mails. I miss the closeness we had, and I feel guilty that I'm not as excited as I should be about this big event in Amanda's life. What should I do? -- SAD COUSIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SAD: Your special relationship with your cousin is not over, but it has been moved to the back burner because right now she's distracted by her whirlwind romance and planning for her wedding. Once she comes back down to earth, I'm sure you will hear from her.

Send her a token gift and a sweet card wishing her happiness. Try to forgive her for not answering your e-mails and accept the fact that she may be distracted for a while. And rather than allowing yourself time to brood, fill your time with activities and friends you enjoy. These things have a way of working themselves out in time. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: If you divorce your husband and then start dating him again, what's the appropriate way to introduce him to associates? I say "friend"; he says "wife."

Oh, by the way, I kept my married name, so we still have the same last name. -- TIFFANY IN COLORADO

DEAR TIFFANY: Smile and say, "I'd like you to meet 'John.'" If the person asks his last name, volunteer it, and when the eyebrows go up, tell the truth -- that he's your ex-husband, not your brother.