DEAR ABBY: Please print my letter on Father's Day because I'd like to say something. I was raised by my father, no mother in sight. He took on the job of two parents and didn't bat an eyelash. I was 6 when Dad changed jobs, bought a house and got my siblings and me out of foster care where our mother had left us.

At the time, I barely knew my dad, but as the years passed I got to know him. He was a tough, hard-working, kind, loving man who taught me those qualities by example, as well as how to laugh at life.

We lost Dad unexpectedly to a heart attack last January. He wasn't even 60 years old. If anyone deserves an accolade on Father's Day, it's him because he was the best. He is sorely missed. He was my hero, and I am flattered to be compared to him. -- LOVING DAUGHTER IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR LOVING DAUGHTER: You are lucky to have had such a positive father figure in your life -- and I'm printing your letter in tribute not only to your own dear father, but also to other devoted and caring men who nurture and mentor children.

In honor of fathers everywhere, I would like to share a poem that last appeared in my column in 2001. It was penned by a talented writer and retired schoolteacher named Hilda Bigelow:

I HAD A FATHER WHO TALKED WITH ME

I had a father who talked with me.

Allowed me the right to disagree,

To question -- and always answered me,

As well as he could -- and truthfully.

He talked of adventures; horrors of war;

Of life, its meaning; what love was for;

How each would always need to strive

To improve the world to keep it alive.

Stressed the duty we owe one another

To be aware each man is a brother.

Words for laughter he also spoke,

A silly song or happy joke.

Time runs along, some say I'm wise,

That I look at life with seeing eyes.

My heart is happy, my mind is free,

I had a father who talked with me.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance wants a prenuptial agreement. I am willing to sign one, even though it's not my idea. This is to protect his finances.

According to our research, we are both supposed to hire our own attorneys. My question: Is it my responsibility to pay for my attorney even though we are doing the prenup only to protect my fiance's assets and inheritance? -- JUST WONDERING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR JUST WONDERING: A prenuptial agreement is supposed to protect the interests of both parties. At the same time that it protects your fiance's assets, it should lay out what provisions will be made for you in the event that the marriage doesn't work out. Because your attorney will be representing only you, you should be the person compensating him (or her) for services rendered. And honey, this is not the time to cheap out.

CONFIDENTIAL TO MORTON B. IN MINNEAPOLIS: A happy, healthy Father's Day to you, Pop!

DEAR ABBY: My 17-year-old son, "Seth," is set to go off to college. He is going to a state university about 20 minutes from our home.

When filling out the paperwork for school, I did not sign him up to live on campus. His behavior during his senior year was less than stellar. I felt he needed to prove himself a little before I spent the money for him to live on campus. He's furious with me, and I admit I am second-guessing my decision as I talk to other parents whose kids are all living on campus.

I want my son to be independent. I told him if he did well the first semester he could live there the second semester. Did I do the right thing? -- PERPLEXED MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR MOM: I know you want your son to be independent, but for him to become independent means he needs to accept responsibility for himself -- and that includes filling out his own paperwork for school. Dormitory living would have provided an atmosphere with some supervision and structure, but dorm rooms are usually assigned at the beginning of the school year -- not the middle.

I know you meant well, but I would have done things differently and told my son that if he did poorly in his first semester, he would be living at home during the second one.

DEAR ABBY: We desperately need your help on how to say "no thanks," without hurting our friends' feelings. A lovely couple at church regularly invite us to their home for dinner. "Judy" is an avid reader and enjoys clipping recipes from newspapers and magazines.

When we arrive, the conversation usually starts with, "I got a new recipe." We have been served half-cooked bean soup that felt like we were chewing on little pebbles from the river, casseroles with cheese topping so hard it could be used as roadway asphalt, and cakes as heavy as lead. Thank God for lemonade to wash down the taste.

We feel like their guinea pigs. We like their company, but we're afraid our medical bill could be higher this year if we venture into the wrong meal. These people are great friends and fun to be around. How do we say no without hurting their feelings? -- QUEASY IN KENTUCKY

DEAR QUEASY: The next time Judy invites you to dinner, accept on the condition that YOU bring the main course. And when you do, be sure to bring the recipe with you. Then, during dinner or after, explain to Judy exactly how it was prepared. You'll be doing not only your hostess, but also yourselves, a big favor.

DEAR ABBY: My father was recently widowed at the age of 77. I know he's lonely because he has never lived by himself, but I'm concerned about his social behavior. He makes sexual remarks around women of all ages -- from 21 to 101. If he sees that I'm shocked or embarrassed, he says he likes a good laugh and "this is nothing they haven't heard before."

I have tried telling Dad that his comments are offensive and degrading. I love him and want him to be happy, but I'm afraid he's making a fool of himself and will end up with a poor reputation in our small retirement town.

Am I wrong? How can I help him see the error of his ways? -- DISCONCERTED DAUGHTER

DEAR DAUGHTER: You are not wrong. But you have already told your father that his remarks are offensive. He can see the effect that they have on you. Unless he is becoming demented, which you should be able to determine if there have been other changes in his behavior, he may be one of those hard-headed people who have to learn things the hard way.

DEAR ABBY: I met "Paul" through an ad I placed on an Internet dating service. We have been out in person and have also been cyber-dating for nearly a year. Paul used to live close by, but he got an offer on his place, so he sold it and moved to his second home in another state. He invited me to come along, but because I had college-aged children still residing with me, I didn't move.

My kids have now moved into places of their own, and Paul has asked that we buy our own house in the state where my kids live. I agreed. The problem is my extended family. Except for my sister, everyone thinks I'm being taken advantage of. Paul has more money than I will ever have in my life. I trust and love him. My children approve of our relationship.

Does it matter that most of our relationship thus far has been spent on the Internet? We talk on the phone, chat online and probably spend more time together than couples living together do. How do I politely tell my family to back off? If I get hurt, I get hurt -- but it's a chance I'm willing to take. -- HAPPY AND HOPING IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HAPPY AND HOPING: I have a suggestion. While in some areas the real estate market is beginning to recover, it should become even better as the economy improves -- so why don't you and Paul rent out your houses for now, and rent an apartment for a year in the area in which you are considering buying? That way, you won't be rushing into a purchase in an area you're not familiar with, and you and Paul can decide if you're as compatible in person as you are on the phone and Internet. Please understand I am not implying that there is anything wrong with Paul, only that you should not rush into making a hefty financial investment while in the heat of passion.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was laid off in 2008 and has searched everywhere, even out of state, for a job and found nothing. I feel bad for him because he is home 24/7. I try to get him out of the house to no avail, and when I ask him to tell me how he really feels, he says he's fine and that he will be OK.

I want him to express the way he feels because he is keeping all of his pain and stress to himself. How can I help him? -- WORRIED WIFE IN ENGLEWOOD, N.J.

DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Men and women do not always express their innermost feelings in the same way, so please stop trying to pry the pain and stress out of your husband or you may add to it.

What concerns me more than your husband's unwillingness to "dump" is the fact that he is staying in the house 24/7. Cocooning is no way to find another job. However, volunteering some of the time he has on his hands could be. And that's what you should insist he do.

DEAR ABBY: I have cancer and my family and friends are hosting a fund-raiser with dinner and a silent auction. My question is, what do I do with the things that are not purchased? Should I return them to the donors or what? Thank you. -- J.C. IN ILLINOIS

DEAR J.C.: Offer to return the items to the donors, and if they refuse, donate them to the American Cancer Society at one of its thrift stores.

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