DEAR ABBY: I'm 15 and have a 6-month-old daughter who is my everything. Her father is 16, and he does drugs and drinks. He says he loves me and the baby, but given the choice, he'd rather be stoned or drunk at his friends' houses than see his daughter.

I want him involved in our lives, but the only time he sees us is when I take the baby to his house. I won't allow my daughter to spend the night with him because he smokes, and so does the rest of the family. I need your help. I don't know what to do. -- TEEN MOMMY IN ILLINOIS

DEAR TEEN MOMMY: It appears your baby's father is in no condition to be a parent in any sense of the word. What you're going to have to do is grow up quickly and realize that at the rate he's going, he has no future.

Teenagers who spend their time drinking and drugging can't study, can't work and can't hold a job. Whether your baby's father will even graduate from high school is questionable. That is why it is doubly important for you to apply yourself to your studies and get all the education you can -- because the odds are great that you will be supporting your daughter emotionally and financially until she's an adult.

Some schools offer programs for teen mothers and dads. I urge you to reach out and find out what is available in your community.

DEAR ABBY: Now that I have retired after working long and hard to provide for three kids, life was supposed to be relaxing and enjoyable. The problem is, my relationship with my wife has become strained.

We don't seem to agree on anything. I find her annoying to be around, and she feels the same about me. This leads to arguments, and after 35 years of marriage, I confess that for the first time I don't feel the love for her that I used to. I believe she feels the same way. (At least we agree on something.)

Is this common? Is it repairable? If not, then walking the straight and narrow to reach the golden years was a fool's error. -- OUT TO PASTURE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR OUT TO PASTURE: What you are describing is not at all uncommon. The good news is, it is fixable, but it will take effort on the part of both you and your wife.

It might help your marriage if you went out into the community and volunteered some of your time. I'm sure a man with your energy and intellect would be welcomed with open arms. And you and your wife should join some social groups together so you can start enjoying each other again. If that doesn't bring some improvement, then please consider marriage counseling before you throw in the towel.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever I go out with my friend "Tara," she is ALWAYS 15 to 30 minutes late. Regardless of where we are going or what we'll be doing, she makes me wait.

I am a busy person. Tara does not work. She will call to let me know she'll be late, but still I have to wait. She does this with other people, too.

I am so fed up with waiting for her that I have reached the point of no longer being willing to do it. What can I do about her inconsiderate behavior? -- ON THE DOT, MONROE, LA.

DEAR ON THE DOT: Give your friend a sweet, but firm warning. Tell her that when you make a date with her, you expect her to be ready at the appointed time -- and if she's not, you will leave without her. Then follow through.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I'm 10 years old and worried about my friend "Kelly." Her father has fought in two wars and suffers from PTSD, and when he loses it, he hits her.

I really want to tell someone who can help her, but she wants to "keep it a secret." I'm afraid if I tell, my best friend will get separated from her family. What should I do? -- HOPING TO HELP A FRIEND

DEAR HOPING TO HELP: Some secrets are meant to be kept, but physical abuse isn't one of them. One of the saddest things about abuse is that the victims often come to believe they deserve it because that's what the abuser tells them (This is YOUR fault -- YOU made me do this!). Of course, when someone loses control, it isn't the victim's fault but rather the abuser's, because the abuser is unable to control his (or her) emotions.

There are worse things than being removed from a violent family situation, among them the risk of serious injury. That's why it's important that you tell a trusted adult what's happening to Kelly. This needs to be reported so her father can get the help he so desperately needs.

DEAR ABBY: In our school, we're not allowed to have our cell phones out or turned on, but of course, people do it anyway. Some of these students have extremely high-pitched ring tones. They are at such a frequency that the older teachers cannot hear them. Many adults do not hear the noise.

These "mosquito" tones hurt my ears, and just about everyone in the room cringes when someone gets a text message. I'm not sure what to do. The teachers are oblivious, and there are far too many cell phones out to report them all. Should I endure it until I graduate? -- HATING THE INVISIBLE NOISE

DEAR HATING THE NOISE: Have a private chat with the teacher, tell him or her what's going on, and explain that the tones are a distraction in class. Then talk to some of the other students you see cringing when the "mosquitoes" start buzzing. If a number of you start visibly reacting to the noise, your teacher should notice and begin to take action.

P.S. Some electronics-savvy educators insist that all cell phones be placed on their desks when students enter the classroom.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married in an impromptu ceremony while visiting his parents. We didn't have a ring, so his mother offered to give me the wedding ring she had inherited from her mother as a gift.

About a year ago, my husband gave me an anniversary band, which I decided to wear with the ring from my mother-in-law. However, when she heard about my new ring, she asked me to return her mother's ring. I am hurt that she wants it back because I'd like to keep it. What should I do? -- TWO-RING CIRCUS

DEAR TWO-RING: First, let me tell you what not to do. Although the ring was a "gift," do not allow it to become a bone of contention. In the interest of family harmony, return it to your mother-in-law with a sweet note thanking her for letting you wear it all this time, and telling her how much that "symbol of her love and acceptance" has meant to you all these years. Maybe she'll leave it to you in her will.

DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away last year, and my whole world has been rocked. To make it worse, my father has been acting like a little boy. Soon after Mom's death, he met a woman. Since then, he has not included me and my siblings in any decisions regarding Mom's belongings -- including expensive and sentimental things that have been in our family for years.

When we ask Dad about the items, he says, "They're mine now," or, "You have nothing to do with them." Mom prided herself on these antiques that have stayed in the family. We would like to pass them on to our children and their cousins, but Dad has been selling them and using the money to pay for his lifestyle.

Am I wrong for feeling that Dad is acting like a spoiled brat? Talking to him is useless. He responds like a kid at the playground whose friends won't play the way he likes. -- LET DOWN BY DAD IN N.Y.

DEAR LET DOWN: Although it may not seem like it, your mother's death may have rocked your father's world, too. It is regrettable that the "mechanism" he has chosen to help him through the grieving process is so expensive he must sell family assets to afford her. However, unless your mother left a will specifying what items she wanted you and your siblings to have, then they are legally your father's to dispose of as he wishes. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I've been single for a year and a half, and have four children. After 14 miserable years, I finally left their father. He abused me in many ways, which is the reason I left.

He is now in a relationship -- and I want him back. Is this normal? I thought I left for all the right reasons, and I never expected to feel this way. I can't understand why my feelings for him are starting to resurface. I thought that part of my life was over.

Is it because I'm alone? Is it because he has someone else? Am I jealous? Please give me some insight. I'm ... DAZED IN ARIZONA

DEAR DAZED: The feelings you are experiencing are normal and are probably a combination of each of the reasons you mentioned. You have the responsibility of raising your four children, and you probably envision you and your ex floating off on a pink cloud to a happy ending. Well, grab the smelling salts because it isn't going to happen.

By leaving your husband and removing the children from that toxic environment, you took a giant step toward a healthy future for all of you. Your husband is an abuser. What he did to you he will do to his new lady friend sooner or later. So be glad you got out, and don't look back. Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. If you do it, you'll be frozen in place, too.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please settle a dispute between my best friend and me? If you are attending a non-military wedding, should your male escort wear his military uniform? My friend says it's an honor to be in the service, and it's perfectly acceptable for a guest to wear a uniform to the wedding. -- DEBBIE IN BALTIMORE

DEAR DEBBIE: Wearing a military uniform to a wedding is "perfectly acceptable," but it would be wise to first ask the bride how she feels about it. She may object because there have been instances in which the serviceperson cut such a dashing figure in his uniform that he (almost) overshadowed the bride.