DEAR ABBY: Last April, you printed my question about whether or not I should go to my junior prom even though I was nervous about boys and being dateless. I took your advice and went with friends.

It turned out to be the right decision. The prom was one of the funnest nights I have ever had. I danced and danced with all my friends, and there were plenty of other girls there without dates. We all just danced together and had a great time.

I realized that I overreacted about the entire boys issue and had worried too much. It turns out I wasn't the only one who felt that way. One of my friends hadn't been sure if she wanted to go either because of not having a date. However, like me, she realized it didn't matter and went anyway -- which is what I am happy about, too.

Teenagers like me shouldn't worry about the cliche that going to the prom requires a date. It doesn't! You can just go and have a good time with your friends without worrying about life for a few hours. It gave me a chance to let go of the stress I had been having and express myself. Thank you for your advice. -- THANKFUL TEEN IN N.Y.

DEAR THANKFUL TEEN: You're welcome. I am often asked whether the people who write to me let me know how my advice worked out. Your letter made my day -- and I hope it will encourage other teens who find themselves with the same dilemma you were facing. Thank you for taking the time to send the update.

DEAR ABBY: My husband just isn't romantic. When we were dating he'd bring me flowers and little surprises and cards. He never proposed -- we just kind of decided to get married. But when he bought the ring there was no getting down on one knee or profession of love.

It's been more than 26 years, and I thought I'd be over this by now. Unless I beat him over the head about it, he never plans anything or does anything romantic.

We had a mini-vacation a few weeks ago, and I said, "This is supposed to be a romantic vacation." He didn't get the hint. No surprises, no dinner reservations, no flowers. What's a girl to do with a great guy with no romance in his bones? -- WISTFUL IN WILMINGTON

DEAR WISTFUL: Because he's a great guy, love him anyway. Then pick out some lovely gifts for yourself, plan the vacations and make the reservations -- including some romantic dinners. No one has everything, so focus on the positive and count your blessings.

DEAR ABBY: When my dad passed away four years ago, I was only 13. My mother has raised me by herself and brought up the issue of dating only once after Daddy died. She asked how I felt about her dating again, and I started crying.

Now that a few years have passed, I have changed my mind. I think it's time for her to get out again. The problem is, she still wears her wedding ring. I think she needs to take it off, so she can send a different message to available men. She's attractive, in her mid-50s and deserves to be happy again. How can I help her? -- LOVING DAUGHTER, MANKATO, MINN.

DEAR DAUGHTER: Tell your mom that now you're older, the idea of her finding love again is no longer threatening and you want her to be happy. Suggest that removing her wedding ring would be a step in the right direction -- then be quiet and hear her out. She may be open to dating again -- or she may be happy with her life just the way it is.

DEAR ABBY: I recently met a woman at a "Mommy and Me" class. We hit it off immediately and started making plans for play dates, etc. During one class we started talking about our husbands, and I realized that her husband is someone I had a casual relationship with 10 years ago.

I have avoided getting together with her ever since because I don't know if it is appropriate to tell her how well I know her husband. I have not had any contact with him, and I don't know how he would feel about my friendship with his wife. If we are to be friends, I feel I must be honest with her. I'd appreciate your advice. -- FEELING AWKWARD IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: If the situation were reversed, how would you feel about it? Would you feel OK with it if she had rejected your husband? If he rejected her, would you care to reintroduce someone who might be considered a "woman scorned"? Or are you all sophisticated enough to laugh it off and let bygones be bygones? If the answer to that last question is yes, then level with her. If not, then don't go there.

DEAR ABBY: "Mary" and I worked in the same department for 20 years. We would occasionally socialize outside of work along with our husbands. They eventually divorced, but I stayed friends with Mary. She remarried, transferred out of my department a few years ago, and we now see each other only at work-related functions.

I recently heard that her ex had passed away suddenly. I don't know whether I should send her a condolence card, call her or not mention anything until we bump into each other again. What is the proper procedure for acknowledging -- or not -- the death of an ex-spouse? -- ROCHELLE IN HAMILTON, N.Y.

DEAR ROCHELLE: If Mary's first marriage ended in a bitter divorce, drop her a line and let her know what you heard. She may not have heard the news. If the divorce was a friendly one, then give her a call and offer condolences. Not only would it be a gesture of support, but also an opportunity for the two of you to catch up.

DEAR ABBY: My friend, "Jane," who lives in California, is going through a painful divorce. She has recently become obsessed with a celebrity and, through fan chat rooms, found out where he hangs out, goes shopping, etc.

She is now attending his church. She has spoken to him casually twice and says she "knows" they are meant to be together.

I know Jane isn't violent, and I'm sure she would do him no harm, but when I mentioned counseling she accused me of being "jealous."

Abby, we're not teenagers. Jane is a 43-year-old woman. Mutual friends tell me I should let her have her fun. Am I right to be concerned? -- FRIEND OF A STALKER

DEAR FRIEND: Yes, to a degree, because your friend may be setting herself up for another disappointment. Sought-after celebrities develop an instinct for detecting obsessed fans who try to worm their way into their lives.

Right now, Jane's behavior is on the outer perimeters of normal. But if it escalates, contact the clergyperson of the church and let him or her know what's going on so he or she can take action or the celebrity can be notified.

TO MY JEWISH READERS: Rosh Hashanah begins tonight at sundown, so I'd like to wish everyone a happy, healthy new year!

DEAR ABBY: I am a 58-year-old woman who has just been dumped by my 55-year-old boyfriend for a younger woman. She is 18, and if that isn't bad enough -- she's my daughter. They are now living together.

For more than a year we functioned as a family. We had regular game nights and took a family vacation together. Because of their betrayal, I have lost my daughter, my boyfriend, the two people I thought were also my best friends, and my family all at the same time. I don't know anyone who has had this happen to them, but unfortunately there must be some out there.

How do I go on? How do I maintain a relationship with my daughter when she is living with my ex-boyfriend? How do I accept what has happened without approving of it? There is so much wrong with this I'm at a loss for rules or tools to handle it. -- IN CRUSHING PAIN IN OREGON

DEAR IN CRUSHING PAIN: There ARE no "rules." And it does occasionally happen -- most famously with Mia Farrow, her adopted daughter and her longtime boyfriend Woody Allen. I believe Ms. Farrow cut off all contact with both of them.

But enough about her. You are going to have to figure out what will work best for you. Your first step should be to seek spiritual support. Sometimes, with time, comes acceptance. But right now, it is crucial that you take care of yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 19 and finally getting my life together. I have already experienced a lot emotionally and physically. I have recently started on the path to sobriety, but there are two problems. In the city where I live there is nothing to do after 10 p.m. if you're not a drunk. My friends from childhood not only do not support me but tell me I should just have a drink.

I know you should keep yourself surrounded by people who will lift you up, but these people have been my close companions for many years, and I don't think I can dismiss them that easily. Please help me. I like how my life is right now, and I need to know how to stay focused. -- DRUNK OR SOBER? IN NEW YORK

DEAR D. OR S.?: If you want to hang onto your sobriety, you are going to have to fight for it. You got off on a wrong path very early, and so did your childhood friends. But now you have an opportunity to make new ones -- the members of your sobriety program. The more time you spend with them, the less time you will have to allow yourself to be seduced into falling off the wagon.

If you're strong enough to do this, you can be a role model for some of your old drinking buddies, and some may decide to join you. But if they don't, you will have made new friends who have also made positive changes in their lives -- and that's not a bad consolation prize.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell me your position on this. Are adult children supposed to take an aging mother with them on vacation? If not, what is a gentle way to say no when the parent invites herself? Please help us. -- UNSURE IN OHIO

DEAR UNSURE: I think it depends upon the relationship between the mother and "child." It also depends upon the purpose of the vacation. If a couple is going away to relax and bond more closely with each other, they do not need a third wheel -- regardless of how much they might love her. And the way to say that is, "We need some alone time, Mom. Please understand."