DEAR ABBY: A woman I work with is pregnant. While this may seem like exciting news, it is the opposite. She is already depressed and often talks about suicide.

My real concern is for her baby. She often says how, if she has a girl, she'll drown it, suffocate it, etc. She says it openly. Everyone in the office has heard her make these statements.

The baby's father is an alcoholic, and he is the one who wants the kid -- not her. She already has an older child she has nothing to do with.

I feel something should be done to keep her baby from being harmed, but what can I do? Can Child Protective Services be of any help when it comes to an unborn baby? Or should we co-workers speak up and ask her to seek help? -- WORRIED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR WORRIED: Of course you should speak up! Hormones have a lot to do with the way people think and react -- as anyone knows who has had anything to do with women who suffer from PMS. Your co-worker should be urged to level with her OB/GYN about the feelings she is experiencing.

I discussed your letter with Child Protective Services and was informed that no intervention can be done until a baby is actually born. However, when your co-worker goes to the hospital to have her child, you should notify the hospital officials because, if necessary, an intervention can be done, and CPS can become involved when she delivers.

It goes without saying that when anyone talks about suicide, that person should be advised to discuss their feelings with a counselor at one of the suicide prevention hotlines. Both numbers are toll-free: (800) 784-2433 and (800) 273-8255.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 22-year-old woman, fairly mature, intelligent and stable. I'm 5-foot-3 and wear a size 5 or 6.

I have this friend, "Tish," who is stunningly gorgeous. She looks like a model, stands about 5-foot-8 and wears a size 1 or 2. She dresses stylishly and has the figure to pull off many outfits that I never could. Tish is also a nice person who has never said anything to put me down. I feel no ill will toward her, just inferior when I'm around her.

I have had super-short hair most of my life, but have been growing it out for the past year to "reinvent" myself. When I saw Tish last week, she had donated her shoulder-length hair to Locks of Love and now sports an ultra-chic haircut that makes her look better than I ever did. I cried for almost an hour after she left.

I know my feelings are stupid and childish. Not only do I feel ugly externally next to Tish, but also internally ugly for being so hung-up on appearance when she hasn't done me any wrong. How can I get rid of these unwanted feelings? -- PALE IN COMPARISON

DEAR PALE: You say you feel inferior when you're around Tish. How do you feel when you're not around her? And why are you constantly comparing yourself to her?

It's important for your future that you figure out what's behind it, because unless you do, your feelings of inferiority will extend beyond this one individual. When you begin to like yourself more, you'll feel less "pale" when you're around others -- including your friend Tish.

Please discuss this with a licensed counselor, and if that's not possible right now, then it might be better for both of you to spend less time together.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old boy who has known for as long as I can remember that my parents would eventually divorce. I can't remember a day in my life without their constant fighting. Dad has been out of the house for a year now, and our home situation is better.

My sisters, on the other hand, are torn apart. They cry at the mention of the word divorce, which has yet to happen. My older sister is having problems at school and self-esteem issues. My younger sister cries for things to be the way they were -- even though everyone was unhappy.

My mother and I recognize that we are happier and are ready to make changes, like moving into a new house and proceeding with the divorce. But because of my sisters, she has asked me if my father should move back in. I desperately want progress, but feel it won't ever come. How can we all let go? -- TEEN IN STATEN ISLAND

DEAR TEEN: A mother should not be asking her 15-year-old son whether she should be giving her marriage another try. If she's ambivalent, she should make that decision with the help of a therapist -- which might also be extremely helpful for you and your sisters.

All of you are experiencing the stress of the impending divorce, and you have my sympathy. But when a marriage is as dysfunctional as your parents' has been, sometimes the sanest answer for all concerned is that it come to an end.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I agreed to help her sister and our niece by allowing them to stay with us in our home due to financial hardship on their part. They pay only their share of the utilities; no rent is included.

We have recently learned that they're not really having a financial problem. My sister-in-law lied to us about their situation. In fact, she makes more money than I do, and she's putting half her earnings into her retirement investment account. What is the right way to approach this problem? -- DECEIVED IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR DECEIVED: Your sister-in-law's behavior is reprehensible. As I see it, you have a couple of choices. You can take the indirect approach by clipping this letter, attaching it to a large piece of paper and printing on it, "You have three days to make other living arrangements," and leaving it on your sister-in-law's pillow. Or the direct one, which would be to tell her that the jig is up, she's no longer welcome under your roof, and you want her and her daughter to pack their bags immediately.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a teacher who is concerned by the trend of families displaying caricatures of their family members, along with the names, on the back of their car windows. Some of them not only list every child's name, but also the name of the family pet!

While this may seem cute, it is also advertising personal information to complete strangers. Anyone could approach your children, call them by name, convince them they know the family, and then kidnap them or worse. Why wouldn't they trust someone who even knows their dog's name?

Please print this to raise awareness among parents who may not realize the consequences of such a thoughtless action. -- CONCERNED TEACHER, YORBA LINDA, CALIF.

DEAR CONCERNED TEACHER: Consider it done.

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DEAR ABBY: I have become alarmed by my mother's recent habit of "Googling" people. She digs up things about my friends and calls to report them to me. The list of those she has researched on the Internet ranges from friends I haven't talked to in years, to an ex-boyfriend of hers against whom she filed a restraining order.

This isn't the first time she has searched for information on people. I find it downright creepy. She claims she's doing it to "protect her daughters from Internet stalkers." But the problem is, SHE'S the one stalking people on the Internet. Often they aren't even people she knows well or was ever friends with.

I'm concerned that this could lead to greater degrees of paranoia and controlling behavior -- to which she is prone -- and I am only seeing a small part of a much bigger problem. What do I do? -- ALARMED IN ATLANTA

DEAR ALARMED: You can't stop your mother from trolling the Internet, which contains enormous amounts of information on just about everybody. You can, however, stop your mother from trying to control your life by "sharing" the results of her searches.

The most direct way to do it would be to tell her when she calls with her latest "news flash" that you're not interested and don't want to hear it. If she persists, tell her you're too busy to talk right now and get off the phone. Your mother may be paranoid, but she can only be controlling if you allow it.

DEAR ABBY: I met the most amazing guy. He's in grad school, has a job, his own home, loves music, movies and good food -- he can even cook.

We exchanged phone numbers, and I was excited about finally meeting a man who could be "the one." And then he casually dropped a bomb on me: He told me he has herpes. I thought he was kidding, but he said: "I live stress-free, so I never break out. Herpes is no big deal."

He left voicemails asking if we can go out on a date soon, and I had to tell him I just couldn't date someone with herpes. My male friends support me, so why do I feel so guilty about this? Is it wrong of me not to date someone because of his STD status? -- FEELING MISERABLE IN GAINESVILLE, FLA.

DEAR FEELING MISERABLE: I don't think so. And it was OK to be honest about your feelings, so stop feeling guilty. While herpes isn't life-threatening, it is NOT "no big deal." And while the young man in your letter may "never break out," the virus is shed all the time. That's how the disease is spread, and it is widespread. If you need more information, I recommend you discuss this with your OB/GYN or visit the Web site of ASHA (American Social Health Association) at www.ashastd.org.

DEAR ABBY: After we laid my mother-in-law to rest, my wife discovered a box of letters her parents had written to each other. Her father was stationed overseas during WWII.

My wife is agonizing over whether to read them or destroy them. Because her mother's passing was unexpected, no instructions were made. Should my wife read them as a way to share the experiences of my in-laws' love for each other or consider them so private they are inviolable? -- STUCK FOR AN ANSWER IN OHIO

DEAR STUCK: Reading them might give your wife new insight into her parents, the challenges they faced and an opportunity to view them in the bloom of their youth. They could also be historically significant. That said, however, if she thinks her mother would have preferred that the letters be destroyed, she should follow her conscience.

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