DEAR ABBY: I'm a divorced, middle-aged professional woman with a Ph.D. who has been keeping company with a man my age for seven years. "Burt" treats me well. He takes me out, has helped with some major home renovation projects, sends me flowers and I enjoy his company. I'm perfectly happy in his world, and I like most of his friends.

On the flip side, Burt is overweight, has a drinking problem and never finished college. My problem is, I can't bring myself to introduce him to those in my "professional circle." I'm afraid he will say something boorish, show up drunk or otherwise embarrass me.

Is there something intrinsically wrong with me that I'm ashamed to have the man I love meet people with whom I work and socialize? Is there something wrong with the relationship? -- IT'S COMPLICATED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR IT'S COMPLICATED: There doesn't appear to be anything wrong with the relationship. It has worked for seven years. What's "wrong" may be that you're afraid you have "settled" for someone who isn't up to the standards of those in your professional circle. If you are happy, why do you feel you must live up to someone else's standards?

Of course, this doesn't have to be a deal breaker. If you and Burt are a happy couple, keep your personal and professional lives separate. Many couples do.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young, single mother of two girls. I work full time and I'm involved in my daughters' lives. I go to all their school functions, coach their soccer team, serve as the Cookie Mom for Girl Scouts and volunteer for anything else I can manage to squeeze into my schedule, but I have a hard time making friends with any other moms.

None of the other mothers wants to get to know me. I wait at the bus stop with my girls and the moms talk to each other, but not to me. I get a weird "vibe" from them, as if they think I'm too young to know anything. I try to join in, but it seems they really don't care for me.

I have friends my age, but they don't have children. I want friends who have families because they face the same kind of issues I do. What can I do to make these moms like me? -- FRIEND-CHALLENGED IN CYPRESS, TEXAS

DEAR FRIEND-CHALLENGED: There is no way to "make" someone like you, and if a clique has already been established, it can be difficult to break in. It is possible that because of your youth and single status you are perceived as a threat to them -- but I do have a suggestion, and your youth can be an advantage. Start asking them for advice, and it's possible they may take you under their collective wing.

DEAR ABBY: What is the proper way to kiss after the wedding officiant says, "You may now kiss the bride"? Should the couple share a simple kiss, or can it be a little more intense? -- DANIELLE IN TAMPA

DEAR DANIELLE: The wedding is a time to demonstrate eternal commitment, not unbridled passion. The kiss can be as intense as you like, as long as it doesn't last more than six seconds, and doesn't remove the bride's lipstick.

DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old high school senior who will be leaving for college soon. My boyfriend, also a senior, will be leaving, too. We have been going out for the past two years and trust each other completely. We attended different schools, so we are both fairly adapted to a "long-distance relationship."

The problem is I will be going to college in Florida while he will be staying in Michigan. Neither of us wants to break up, but we understand the enormous changes that will be taking place soon. I don't want to force any unnecessary stress upon him, and I know he feels the same. What are the chances of a long-distance relationship like this working out? Do you have any tips for maintaining it? -- COLLEGE-BOUND

DEAR COLLEGE-BOUND: You are right that significant changes will take place after you and your boyfriend leave for college. You will both grow in different directions, which is a good thing and is to be expected. It will either enrich your relationship or end it. But if you have a strong friendship, are honest with each other and aren't afraid of letting each other enjoy some freedom, your chances are stronger of having a relationship that is long-lasting. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's true.

DEAR ABBY: In the past your column has been supportive of Overeaters Anonymous, a 12-step program for those suffering from compulsive eating. This year is the 50th birthday of OA. We want to remind people that they are not alone.

I have been a grateful recovery member of OA for eight years. Food is no longer my reason for living. I have been transformed by the program, both externally and internally. I want people to know there is help. Just as all heavy drinkers are not necessarily alcoholics, neither are all overeaters food addicts. But for those who are -- and there are thousands -- OA is the answer. -- JANET IN TUCSON

DEAR JANET: My warmest congratulations to you, your fellow OA members and to Overeaters Anonymous on its golden anniversary year. When my mother first mentioned Overeaters Anonymous in this column in 1973, I am told the organization was inundated with 40,000 letters from readers wanting to know more or to start chapters. Today OA has grown to more than 6,500 chapters located in more than 75 countries. There is no shaming, no weighing, and no dues or fees are charged at the meetings. Chapters are located in almost every city, but if there's a problem in finding one, log onto � HYPERLINK "http://www.oa.org" ��www.oa.org� or send a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to OA World Service Office, P.O. Box 44020, Rio Rancho, N.M. 87174-4020.

DEAR ABBY: What do you think of friends like the "Joneses," who tell us about all the different people they have had over for dinner and what was served, but have never invited us to share a meal even though we have had them to our house for dinner on more than one occasion? -- STIFFED IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR STIFFED: The people you have described are not acting like "friends." What they're doing shows extreme disregard for your feelings. When someone accepts an invitation to dinner in your home, anyone with good manners expects to reciprocate the hospitality in some way. If I were you, I would distance myself from the "Joneses." You'll have less hurt feelings and frustration if you do.

DEAR ABBY: The other day my wife of 45 years was cleaning our bathroom and I popped in to ask her a question. I saw her remove my denture brush from the cup and begin cleaning the cracks and crevices of the bathroom with it.

When she realized I was watching her, she said, "Oops, busted! Oh, well, it's not like you put it in your mouth." She also admitted it wasn't the first time. Do you think I should be concerned? -- BRUSHED OFF IN WISCONSIN

DEAR BRUSHED OFF: You absolutely should be concerned. Although the denture brush doesn't go into your mouth, it does have contact with the appliances that do. Your wife's behavior could be a sign of ignorance or bad judgment, but it could also be a sign of senility. This should be reported to your doctor, who should explain to your wife how ill-advised this practice is -- or give her a diagnosis.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, after much searching, I found the love of my life, "Laura," and we were married. Most of our time together is harmonious; the remainder is volatile.

Laura is insanely jealous of practically everything I do. The most recent episode was over a junk e-mail she had seen in my inbox. She asked me about it as we were going to bed, and I told her I had no idea what it was. The next day she asked me to look for it. I did, but I couldn't find it. Laura then accused me of hiding and deleting it. Well, I always delete the "spam" e-mail I receive.

Laura had a horrible first marriage and was wronged in the divorce. She keeps telling me it isn't the reason for her suspicions, but it's hard to believe that doesn't play a part. These arguments are horrible and are causing trouble in our marriage. I am open and honest with her, and I truly want to be with her for the rest of my life. But her doubts, fears and mistrust are driving me crazy. What do I do? -- UNDER CONSTANT ATTACK IN TEMPE, ARIZ.

DEAR UNDER ATTACK: If you want your marriage to survive, tell Laura that although you love her, you will no longer tolerate her inability to trust you and the volatile scenes her insecurity has caused.

Whatever is driving her paranoia, she needs to work it through with a licensed mental health professional. Because she may be resistant to the idea, start by insisting you both see a marriage counselor. That person can be an ally in guiding her into the counseling she seriously needs. I wish you luck, because I suspect her issues go back farther than her first marriage.

DEAR ABBY: With the push in stores to buy their reusable shopping bags, I was wondering what the rule is about bringing bags from different stores. Is it rude if I use bags I purchased from somewhere else? -- SHOPPING GREEN IN BLOOMFIELD, N.M.

DEAR SHOPPING GREEN: Not at all. Stores are in the business of selling merchandise, and if they can bring in money and at the same time promote their brand by selling bags with their logo, that's a double bang for their buck. But please don't feel obligated to use store-brand shopping bags in every establishment you patronize -- or you'll wind up owning more than you can reasonably use. And that's not budget-wise or "green" either.