DEAR ABBY: I am an 18-year-old woman and have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 years. I love him and can't picture my life without him. However, over the last six months he has become emotionally abusive. He's never wrong, gets mad if I disagree with him about anything, and he yells at me over every little thing.

He used to treat me great, and now this. I miss how it used to be, and I cry almost every day. In the past I always told myself I would never put up with something like this, but I have been -- and it gets harder every day. I know it's not physical, but emotional abuse counts for something, right? Or am I overreacting? Please give me some advice. I need to know there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. -- SAD IN LAS VEGAS

DEAR SAD: You're not overreacting. What you are experiencing now is a preview of how the rest of your life will be if you stay with him. When a partner becomes controlling and emotionally abusive, in most cases it's only a matter of time until the physical abuse begins. If you're smart, you will put an end to this NOW. The "light at the end of the tunnel" is the sunshine you'll see once you exit this relationship and slam the door behind you.

DEAR ABBY: Would you please say something about the practice of choosing teams for group games by having team captains select individuals through the process of elimination?

As a child, I was always the person chosen last, and it happened again at a recent community function. I found it just as humiliating and hurtful as an adult.

We were asked to stand and then sit down as our names were called. I was the last person standing in a room of 60 people, and it felt like I had just been pronounced the least popular and desirable person in the room. -- THE OUTCAST IN ALLEN PARK, MICH.

DEAR "OUTCAST": I'm glad you wrote. When choosing teams for group games, most savvy educators separate students into "odds" and "evens" -- or divide them alphabetically -- rather than using the old "last man standing" method. That this would happen in a room full of adults shows extreme insensitivity, and I don't blame you for being upset.

DEAR ABBY: My mom recently married a man with four daughters whose upbringing was very different than mine. Most of the time the "culture clash" doesn't bother me, except when we get into trouble.

When I stay out after my curfew, I am grounded for two weeks. When they do it, they get a minor scolding. While I understand that we were raised with different standards, I resent it when my punishment is worse than theirs. How can I make this equal? -- ANGRY IN THE WEST

DEAR ANGRY: Yours is a problem that occurs in many families when they become blended -- and you are right; the situation is unfair. That's why I hope you will show this item to your parents. Family counseling can help them arrive at a fair solution and head off resentments before they explode.

DEAR ABBY: "Aaron" and I have been married five years, and I have always tried to keep our sex life "spicy." Letting him take private X-rated photos and videos of me seemed fun at the time.

I recently learned that my "private" photos and videos have been on the Internet and shared with Aaron's buddies, co-workers and friends. I am shocked, embarrassed and hurt. When I confronted him, he said, "You're beautiful, and I enjoy sharing you with other guys!" I was dumbfounded at his response. I have tried talking to him, and he just doesn't see my objections.

Every time I see one of our friends, I wonder if Aaron has shared my "beauty" with him. I'm too embarrassed to talk to my minister about this. I have lost my trust in my husband and don't know what I should do now. -- X-POSED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR X-POSED: What your husband has done is the equivalent of inviting his buddies, co-workers, friends, etc. into your bedroom during your most intimate moments. Your trust was violated and your feelings are understandable. That he would disregard your feelings in the matter is, frankly, shocking.

What you should do now is contact a licensed marriage counselor to figure out if, with professional help, you can help your immature and insensitive husband reorganize his priorities.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I was in love with "Connie," a girl who was my best friend and soul mate. We had so much in common. Connie was chubby -- not fat, just not a size 3.

Being 22 at the time, I became infatuated with "Lisa," who was a size 3. Lisa was also jealous, insecure and still tied to her mother. I snapped one day and left her -- the smartest thing I have ever done.

By then, of course, Connie had moved on, and I deeply regret my wandering eye, lack of sensitivity and misplaced values. My life would be so much happier had I done what was right instead of being stupid.

Connie, I am told, is happily married, and I would not wreck her marriage. I have remained single. I don't know if you can offer me advice, but if my experience can help another young man to recognize the beauty within, he will be happier than I am. -- WISER NOW IN OHIO

DEAR WISER NOW: You are not the first man to wind up with indigestion from too much arm candy. But this happened 20 years ago and you have grown since then. It's time to stop punishing yourself and open yourself to new possibilities. There are many out there. Trust me on that.

DEAR ABBY: My sister is showing signs of Alzheimer's, but she is in denial and refuses to face the issue. I would like to get her medical help. Our mother had the disease and my sister is probably scared. Any advice? -- BIG BROTHER IN FLORIDA

DEAR BIG BROTHER: If your sister is without a spouse or children, her doctor should be notified about your concerns. You also need to talk to her, to ensure that she has an advance directive for health care and powers of attorney in place in the event that she "might" become unable to make decisions for herself.

While the thought of preparing these documents can be scary, NOT having them is far scarier should any incapacitating health-care crisis arise. This needs to be done while your sister still has the capacity to make rational decisions.

The Alzheimer's Association can be a valuable resource in a situation like this, so please don't hesitate to contact it. The toll-free, 24-hour helpline is (800) 272-3900. The website is � HYPERLINK "http://www.alz.org" ��www.alz.org�.

DEAR ABBY: On May 13, "Diana in Lakewood, Calif.," asked you how to reuse or donate little jewelry boxes. You offered some great tips, but you should have let folks know about two terrific resources for giving away or recycling odd things.

Freecycle.org is an online network where people can give away or find free stuff in their local neighborhood. It is a great way to recycle items -- like the jewelry boxes -- to a local thrift store, a crafter or a teacher.

Earth911.com is also an amazing directory of local reuse and recycling options. I work at a thrift store for home improvements. (Instead of donating clothing or furniture, some people give us lumber, kitchen cabinets, hardware, etc.) Most people don't know that stores like ours exist. Reusing items from your neighbors wastes no energy and builds a sense of community. Abby, thanks for touching on this important topic. -- RUTHIE M. IN EDMONSTON, MD.

DEAR RUTHIE: Many readers wrote to remind me that one man's trash is another man's treasure, and we all must do whatever it takes to keep items out of landfills. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am an activity director at a small long-term-care facility and would love to receive those jewelry boxes. People don't realize how grateful we are to provide a home for their extra greeting cards, craft supplies, fabric scraps, wrapping paper, games, cards -- the list goes on and on. Diana should consider contacting her local nursing home activity director and put those boxes to good use.

Budgets are tight. With every cut our state and federal governments make to nursing homes, activity directors are always happy to give new life to no-longer-needed items. -- THE ACTIVITY GODDESS, BUHL, IDAHO

DEAR ABBY: I have another suggestion for Diana in Lakewood. Quit buying so much stuff!

Recycling is only a partial solution to a wasteful lifestyle. Millions of tons of plastic, no matter how many times it is recycled, end up in our oceans, where Texas-sized flotillas of plastic goo will outlast us all. The key is to generate less in the first place.

When considering a purchase, consider all four "R's": Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and Repair. In this case, the option to "Reduce" should be observed by either buying less jewelry, or asking the vendors to quit over-packaging the stuff. -- DR. JAMES HAYES-BOHANAN, PROFESSOR OF ENVIRONMENTAL GEOGRAPHY

DEAR ABBY: Diana should donate the boxes to Goodwill, Salvation Army, Habitat for Humanity, preschools, Girl Scouts and Sunday schools -- not the landfill! -- ELSIE K., OAK RIDGE, TENN.

DEAR ABBY: Perfectly good items should never be tossed into a landfill. There is always someone who can use whatever it is as long as it's in good condition (and sometimes even when it's not). It should be the responsibility of the consumer to find that someone. While it may not be a legal responsibility, it is the right thing to do. -- ROSIE W. IN DENVER

DEAR ABBY: Most malls and department stores open gift-wrapping booths at holiday time. They are usually set up to raise funds for a specific charity. Diana can contact mall management and find out if it plans to have one and if so, what agency will be operating it. Then she can contact the agency and arrange to donate all of the boxes. Believe me, small boxes are always needed. -- LYNN IN CAMBRIDGE, ONTARIO