DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old woman who lives alone in a house I own. Sometimes strangers come to the house for various reasons -- plumbers, electricians, etc.

One question I am frequently asked is, "Do you live alone?" I just don't know how to answer that question without feeling like someone might take advantage of me. Can you help me and other single women by providing an appropriate response? -- CAUTIOUS BACHELORETTE, HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR BACHELORETTE: Gladly. Your gut instincts are on target. I ran your question by my local police department. While I do not usually advise readers to lie, this is the exception that proves the rule. If you are asked if you live alone, reply: "No, I do not live alone. My boyfriend (brother, nephew, etc.) lives here too. Why do you ask?"

DEAR ABBY: My parents are in their 60s and very healthy. Dad has always been frugal. But ever since his retirement, saving a buck seems to be the only thing that makes him happy. Mom and Dad are comfortably well off, but all they seem to think about is saving money.

My sibling and I are doing well enough that we don't need to rely on inheritance money. We would rather see them enjoy life than hold onto that money for us. Is Dad bored, or does he need a hobby?

It has reached the point where it's embarrassing to go anywhere with them because Dad berates waiters at restaurants and argues with store clerks over prices. When we're shopping, he "disappears" until everything is paid for. When I tell him I didn't expect him to pay, he gets defensive and denies he was hiding. What do you make of this? -- PULLING MY HAIR OUT

DEAR PULLING: I make of it that your parents are healthy, retired with less money at their disposal than -- perhaps -- they had counted on, and expect to live a long time. That may be what is driving your already frugal father's behavior.

Many retirees today are doing with far less because of the financial turmoil over the last few years. Some have had to postpone their retirement entirely.

Because your father is arguing with servers over the price of food -- which is not their fault because they don't set the prices on the menu -- take him to less expensive restaurants. And if his behavior when you're shopping embarrasses you, find other ways to spend time with him.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college student and four months pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and I'm having a baby shower. I recently heard that sometimes males are invited to the shower. I would like to know if this is appropriate and if I can do it. My mother thinks it's tacky, but this is 2010! Is it acceptable? -- JESSICA IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR JESSICA: Yes, it is acceptable. Allow me to quote from Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition: "It is not uncommon for men to be included on baby shower guest lists these days -- and some lucky guys become shower honorees. (An Emily Post Institute survey showed that over a third of respondents had attended showers where the guest list was mixed.)"

DEAR ABBY: Nineteen-year-old "Hopeless in Chandler, Ariz." (May 21), said he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. When I was his age, I didn't know what I wanted to do, either. I didn't want to go to college, the military didn't interest me, and nothing I could think of seemed appealing.

My parents had factory jobs -- Dad in quality control and Mom in assembly. They talked me into filling out an application at the plant. I did so grudgingly, and was hired. I figured I'd stay one or two years and then find something I liked better.

This September I'll have worked there 32 years. I have survived layoffs and reorganizations, a move to another town and the sale of the product line I started on. I consider the job I'm doing now to be my dream job, and I enjoy going to work every day.

My advice to "Hopeless" is to try something he may think he won't like, give it a chance, and see how he feels in a couple of years. He may be surprised by what he discovers. -- HAPPY AND SATISFIED IN OHIO

DEAR HAPPY: Great advice! It never hurts to give something a try before deciding you don't like it. Read on for more suggestions:

DEAR ABBY: I would encourage "Hopeless" to take college transfer courses at a community college. This often leads to finding an interest. Volunteer and/or get a part-time job. If nothing else, those experiences can eliminate some fields of endeavor or spark an interest in something he has not yet considered. -- VOCATIONAL REHABILITATION COUNSELOR IN MURPHY, N.C.

DEAR ABBY: "Hopeless" should sign with a temp agency. I worked as a temp during my college breaks and was introduced to various office settings, technologies and career opportunities. One summer's temporary placement -- answering phones and doing clerical work -- led to a higher-level position the following summer after graduation. I took it and couldn't have been happier.

"Hopeless" shouldn't wait for others to tell him what he should do -- he should just get out there and do it! If nothing else, he may discover what he does NOT want to do and can direct his college course accordingly. -- BARBARA IN KATY, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Life is what happens while you're busy making plans. "Hopeless" should choose something he enjoys doing, do it well and enjoy the experience. Most important, he should stick with it until he's sure a change is needed. Career planning works for some, but for most people life has a funny way of taking us down roads we never saw coming. -- "DOC" IN LOS OSOS, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I never would have thought of becoming a professional organizer, but that's what I am now. This is not a career that appears in any career counselor's tests, but I'm sure you wouldn't find many unusual careers in a book or test. I advise "Hopeless" to join volunteer groups and ask friends if they need help with anything. He may discover an aptitude for something he wasn't aware he possessed. -- JAN IN CARLSBAD, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: There are hundreds of jobs that provide a good living -- plumber, electrician, bricklayer, construction worker, appliance repairman, stonemason. The list goes on. These are jobs that keep the world spinning and keep us in the comforts we enjoy.

If "Hopeless" doesn't know what he wants, he might consider taking a year to work with AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps or Habitat for Humanity. If he uses his imagination, he can make a difference in the world. -- KEEPING IT REAL IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Donna," and I have shared a wonderful relationship for nearly three years. During her college days she had a sexual encounter with her best female friend. (They had been friends since high school.)

Although they graduated from college five years ago, they continue to see each other. Donna tells me that nothing sexual goes on between them. Personally, I don't trust her friend. Please help me get over this. -- TONY IN WHITTIER

DEAR TONY: Forget about not trusting Donna's longtime friend. Do you trust Donna? You have been together nearly three years and obviously, you talk about everything. Ask her if, after experimenting with her friend, she still has hankerings in that direction. If the answer is no, believe her.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with a lady for the past few months. How do I tell her that I want out without hurting her badly?

I have tried a couple of times to end things, but she gets hysterical, starts crying and accuses me of wanting someone else, which is not true. Please give me some advice. -- IN A FIX, PASCAGOULA, MISS.

DEAR IN A FIX: If you want out, prepare yourself for her emotional reaction. As you can see, she does not take this kind of news well. Tell her again that you want to end the relationship. When she starts crying and accusing you of wanting someone else, hand her a tissue and tell her you think she's "great," but you're not ready to settle down with anyone right now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband doesn't like to go to funerals. In the 25 years we have been together, I think he has only been to three -- and that was only because he had been asked to be a pallbearer. Fortunately, we haven't had to deal with many losses on either side of the family.

We were talking recently and he shared that he would not go to his own mother's funeral! They have a very close relationship, and he explained that he only wants to remember her in life, not in a coffin. I feel he should set aside his own uncomfortable feelings and be there for the rest of the family -- especially his brothers and sisters. What do you think? -- PAM IN SPRINGFIELD, OHIO

DEAR PAM: Your husband's feelings may change when the inevitable happens. However, whatever he decides -- and I cannot stress this strongly enough -- you should back him up, be there for him and not judge him.

DEAR ABBY: I recently completed my first year of college. During the year, I met my current boyfriend. My goal this summer is to have him meet my parents. Because we live six hours apart, I thought it would be best if he stayed over at my parents' house -- in the guest room, of course.

My father objected to it, but said that if it were deemed acceptable by you, he would reconsider. What do you say, Abby? Is there really a problem with having one's boyfriend sleep over at one's parents' house? -- CURIOUS CO-ED

DEAR CURIOUS CO-ED: If the sleeping accommodations are as you have described -- and as long as there isn't any hanky-panky going on in the wee hours of the morning -- I see no problem with it.

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