DEAR ABBY: Our son, "Jason," has decided to leave college with only two semesters left in order to pursue his love of river guiding and outdoor programs. While he was in school, his father and I paid for his cell phone, health and car insurance, and his rent because we wanted his focus to be on his studies. We also paid his tuition.

Jason has a part-time job. Now that he has decided to leave school, our view is that he should find another job and assume these expenses.

My husband and I disagree about who should pay for any future education Jason wants. If he goes back to school, his tuition will be paid for, says Dad. I think we would be enabling him if he thought we were always standing by to foot the bill.

We are heartsick that Jason has made this decision, but his mind is made up. Any advice from you would be appreciated. -- UNHAPPY MOM IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR UNHAPPY: I agree that Jason should shoulder the responsibility for his living expenses. However, do not make any hard and fast decisions about his tuition while you are still angry at him. This situation will play out. If and when Jason decides to complete his education, discuss the matter of tuition then.

DEAR ABBY: Do you know what a speech-generating device is? A lot of people don't. It's a specialized computer that speaks for people who are unable to communicate verbally.

We're a group of campers from Camp Courage who use speech-generating devices to talk. Sometimes people are uncomfortable with our unique way of communicating. We'd like to share some ideas to help them understand:

1. Please be patient. It takes us a little bit longer to get our messages out than it does you.

2. Feel free to ask questions. Don't pretend to understand us if you don't.

3. Do not think we are stupid. Have you ever tried to communicate using one of these things?

4. If it looks like we're having trouble, ask if we need help.

5. Treat us like adults -- just as you would want to be treated.

6. If you're curious, you can look at our devices. It's OK to ask. We're not all the same.

7. Be our friend. If you do, you'll find we have a lot of interesting things to say.

Abby, thanks for helping us communicate our message. We hope to speak to you again! -- CAMILLE, HEATHER, JOEL, JOHN, NAT AND NICOLE

DEAR CAMILLE, HEATHER, JOEL, JOHN, NAT AND NICOLE: I'm pleased to help spread the word. For people who are vocally challenged, you have written an eloquent letter.

Assistive technologies have come a long way in recent years to ensure that people with disabilities are more fully able to participate in business as well as society. These advances are constantly evolving -- and as they do there must also be an "evolution" on the part of the larger community toward acceptance of people who are perceived as different.

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at the letter from "Smooth-Headed in Tampa" (June 28), who complained that shallow women won't date a bald man. He hit the nail on the head with the term "shallow."

My husband is bald, but I didn't realize it when I first met him because he always wore a ball cap. We had gone to school together many years earlier, and he had thick, wavy hair then. When he took his cap off, I only hesitated for a second, remembering a lesson my father had taught me: "Never judge a book by its cover."

I'm so glad I heeded my dad's advice. We've been married 11 years and are more in love with each other now than when we married.

Please tell "Smooth-Headed" that not all women are shallow. He wouldn't want a woman like that, anyway. Besides, those women have no idea what they're missing. I keep threatening to get my husband that T-shirt that reads, "This Isn't a Bald Head, It's a Solar Panel for a Sex Machine," but he says he doesn't want to spill the beans! -- LOVE HIS CHROME DOME

DEAR LOVE: Thank you for the encouraging words for "Smooth-Headed." If the enthusiasm from my readers who love and/or prefer bald men is any indication, "Smooth" has been worrying needlessly. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I happen to absolutely go nuts over bald or balding men. I find nothing sexier. I can spot a bald man a mile off, and in my eyes there is no one else who compares. It may be because ever since I can remember, my father has been balding.

It makes no difference to me whether a man has little or no hair, is tall or short, thin or heavy. It is what's on the inside that counts. Any man bold enough to shave his head or not cover it with a ball cap is tops in my book. (My favorite actor is Vin Diesel.) -- OUT THERE LOOKING

DEAR ABBY: Doesn't "Smooth" know that bald is the new "sexy"? If he is uncomfortable with his hairline, he should see a barber or stylist who can make what hair he has "hot." Every head can look good.

I have happily dated men with receding hairlines and shaved heads. "Smooth" just needs to find a real woman who's interested in who he is, not what's growing or not growing on top of his head. -- NOT BALDPHOBIC IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR ABBY: You are correct that plenty of women will date balding men. Aside from your assertion that we are the smart ones who see beyond the surface, balding is supposed to be a sign of virility.

I do have one question for "Smooth-Headed": Are you willing to date women who are less than supermodels? Many women I know, myself included, are smart, funny and sexy, but have been spurned because we are slightly overweight. What I have learned is that people who sit around whining about the opposite sex being shallow should review their own biases and unrealistic expectations. Who might you be overlooking, Mr. "Smooth"? -- BIG AND BEAUTIFUL IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR ABBY: I am in a loving, happy relationship with my 26-year-old boyfriend who has male-pattern baldness. We met through Internet dating, and "Smooth" should give it a try. Potential dates read about your interests and personality at the same time they see your photos. They'll start to know you before they meet you.

My advice to balding men: Don't be ashamed. "Own" your baldness. My boyfriend does. And his self-confidence makes him even more attractive to me. -- HAPPY HONEY TO A BALDING BABE

DEAR ABBY: I met "Guy" seven years ago and fell deeply in love. We dated for a couple of months, but one day with no warning he broke up with me on my voicemail.

Three weeks after the breakup, Guy came to my home. It was the week of his wedding, which he never bothered to mention. I later heard he had been married from a mutual friend. I knew Guy had been seeing someone, but he never indicated that it was serious.

We have been having an affair ever since our breakup. Because I love him, I can't say no to him. He'll go through periods where he says he's getting divorced. He even told my mom that. Then he calls and says they're going to work it out. I never pushed. I want him to be happy -- even if it's not with me -- and I want no part in causing a divorce. Every time I start to get over Guy, he comes around again. It's like he has radar.

The last time we slept together, a month ago, he told me he thought he had married the wrong woman. The next day, he admitted he has too much at stake to make a change. I am in so much pain. I don't want to be his mistress. If I tell his wife, Guy will never speak to me again. Should I tell her? -- RUNNER-UP IN CHEYENNE

DEAR RUNNER-UP: Whether you're willing to admit it to yourself or not, by continuing the affair with Guy you have been trying to sabotage his marriage. Your first clue that Guy wasn't much of a man should have been when he used voicemail to "break up" seven years ago. He has now made it plain that he isn't going to leave his wife.

Haven't you recognized by now that he is concerned only with his own gratification and doesn't care who is hurt by his actions? This Guy will waste as much of your time as you are willing to give. For your own sake, call a halt and get your head straight. You won't stop hurting until you draw the line.

DEAR ABBY: Last year I decided to pursue a career as a foreign diplomat. My wife and I weighed the pros and cons and concluded that the opportunity was worth the separation from family and friends. I'm proud that I'll be able to provide the kind of life for my family that we have always wanted, and I'm set to begin training soon.

We have begun spreading the news, and most of our relatives and friends share our excitement. My wife's sister, "Lucinda," however, is furious. Her objections started with snide little "jabs" but have grown into a full-blown assault. She is accusing me of ruining her life and threatening to cut off all contact unless we reconsider. My wife is distraught from the badgering and I'm afraid their relationship is on the verge of collapse.

Should I bow to Lucinda's threats or follow our dream and risk being disowned by a member of the family? I'm afraid I have inadvertently ruined my wife's relationship with her sister. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN MINNESOTA

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Unless you want the remainder of your marriage and your career to be dictated by your wife's sister, do not back down. Lucinda appears to be an insecure, and possibly troubled, woman who is trying to control you and your wife through emotional blackmail. You have a bright -- not to mention fascinating -- future ahead of you. So follow your chosen path and do not allow your sister-in-law to continue to interfere. To fold now would only be the beginning of your problems.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

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