DEAR ABBY: In response to "Resentful in Michigan" (Aug. 2), I think you missed the mark. Etiquette and social mores may dictate that it's acceptable for a man to give his future daughter-in-law away, but "Resentful" was speaking from a place of pain that is valid.

Her father didn't walk her down the aisle because her mother's job was more important to them, which made her feel she was second to the job in her parents' hearts. Now her emotions are telling her that her brother's fiancee is more important as well.

If she doesn't speak her mind, her resentment could be redirected to her brother and his new family and cause irreparable damage. She should address this with her brother to help them understand that sitting and watching her dad walk another woman down the aisle under these circumstances would be devastating. The brother's fiancee could ask another relative to escort her -- or walk down alone since this is her third trip to the altar.

At least the father, while not understanding "Resentful's" pain, is taking her feelings into consideration. Now, if her brother and his fiancee will try to understand her feelings, they'll be validated and an amicable solution can be found. -- HEATHER IN RICHARDSON, TEXAS

DEAR HEATHER: You are not the only reader who disagreed with my response to that letter. I reasoned that the writer did not have the right to decide what role her father would or would not play in her brother's wedding. I also suspected that the reason her parents did not attend her wedding -- much less participate -- may have been they did not approve of the groom or the circumstances under which she was being married.

However, because many people felt my answer was insensitive to the writer's feelings, I'll share some reactions from readers:

DEAR ABBY: The father was "too busy" to walk her down the aisle but now he'd do it for his son's future wife? Her father didn't even offer an apology or try to understand. He said only that he wouldn't walk his son's fiancee down the aisle if "Resentful" was hurt by it. If he had apologized and admitted he was wrong not to have done it for his daughter, she could have forgiven him. I don't blame her for being resentful! -- ALONDRA IN LONDON, ONTARIO

DEAR ABBY: Speaking from personal experience, there are few things worse than being rejected by your parents. You should have rebuked them in the strongest possible way. To deny their daughter on her most important day, then grant the same privilege to an outsider (on her third wedding, no less) is the height of insensitivity. Her parents are horrible. Her feelings are normal, natural, justified and deserved validation. Shame on you for siding with the parents! -- PATRICK IN MESQUITE, NEV.

DEAR ABBY: That woman has every right to feel as she does. Her brother was selfish for not considering his sister's deep disappointment on the biggest day of her life. As a minister, I encourage family members to work through their hurts with each other. But forcing someone to pretend all is well when it isn't doesn't help the healing process. It could drive the family even further apart. -- PAUL T. IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: I have a suggestion. Since the brother's fiancee is on her third marriage, why not ask one of her ex-husbands to give her away. I'm sure he'd be happy to. -- JOANNE IN WATERTOWN, WIS.

DEAR ABBY: Now is the time of year your readers should get vaccinated against influenza to protect themselves and their loved ones throughout the 2010-11 flu season.

This year, our nation has a new and very simple recommendation to keep our population safe: Everyone 6 months of age and older should get vaccinated! Doing it now will protect you throughout the entire flu season, which can run into the spring months.

The influenza vaccine is safe -- you cannot get influenza from it. In addition to getting vaccinations in doctors' offices, people can receive them in pharmacies, supermarkets, senior centers and schools. Parents should be aware that children younger than 9 years old may need two doses.

Although prevention actions like washing your hands and covering your cough help to prevent transmission of the flu virus, the best way to avoid spreading it to others is to be vaccinated every year. -- DEBORAH L. WEXLER, M.D., EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, IMMUNIZATION ACTION COALITION

DEAR DR. WEXLER: I'm pleased to know that this year's flu vaccine is available early, and that there is enough for everyone.

Readers, because influenza is contagious one to two days before symptoms appear, it can be spread to others before we even know we're infected. That's why it's important that everyone be vaccinated not only for our own protection, but also for the protection of family, friends and others in the community who are vulnerable to the serious and sometimes deadly complications of influenza. The good news is, this year there is no need for a separate H1N1 shot because H1N1 protection is included in this year's vaccine.

For more information, contact your health care provider, visit the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website at � HYPERLINK "http://www.cdc.gov/flu" ��www.cdc.gov/flu�, or call the CDC Info Center at (800) 232-4636.

P.S. Dr. Wexler tells me that if you miss being vaccinated this fall, you can still get vaccinated in January or later because flu season often doesn't peak until February. But dear readers, for my sake, please do it sooner rather than later so I won't worry about you!

DEAR ABBY: I'm pregnant with my first child. This will be my parents' first grandchild and my fiance's parents' fourth. My mother lives in another state and won't be able to attend the birth, and my fiance and his father are not close.

My problem is my future mother-in-law. When she asked to be present during the birth, I told her no. She became extremely upset when she found out my father will be in the room.

I have nothing against my future mother-in-law; it's just that she's a drama queen, and I'm not comfortable sharing such an emotional event with her. Am I wrong for allowing only one grandparent and not the other? -- MOM-TO-BE IN MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR MOM-TO-BE: The birth of a first baby, while a happy event, can also be scary, challenging and traumatic. It is important that you be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. If you prefer that only your fiance and father be present, then that's how it should be. Any witnesses should be at the invitation of the person doing the delivering, and frankly, for your future mother-in-law to have asked to be present, rather than waiting to be invited, was presumptuous.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have a precious 2-year-old Boston terrier, "Bailey," who is our life. We consider him our child and are heartbroken any time we must leave him alone.

I am wondering if there is any way I could train Bailey to use a fire blanket in case of a fire if we're not there. Bailey loves to burrow into blankets, so it's not too much of a stretch. I couldn't bear the thought of our little one not being able to help himself if he was locked in during a fire. Any suggestions? -- BAILEY'S MOMMY IN TOM'S RIVER, N.J.

DEAR BAILEY'S MOMMY: I have two words for you: dog sitter! If there was a fire and you weren't there, Bailey could die of smoke inhalation. A dog sitter is insurance that even in case of fire someone is around to ensure his safety.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 29-year-old woman with one child. Having always wanted to adopt, I looked into international adoptions and foster care adoptions. I also became a foster care provider for two years. I have always wanted to expand my family, but adoption is expensive and foster care wasn't the right fit.

My younger sister, "Caitlin," married her abusive high school boyfriend and immediately became pregnant. She filed for divorce last year. Because he still controlled her, they reconnected and she's now pregnant with a second child. They are still divorcing, and this time she has no intention of reconciling.

I would desperately love to adopt this baby. When I approached Caitlin about it she said allowing me to adopt her child would make her feel "too guilty." How do I convey to her my great desire to adopt her child without making her feel like less than a parent? I wouldn't feel so strongly if I thought she actually wanted this baby, but she acts like this pregnancy is a burden. -- MATERNAL IN TULSA

DEAR MATERNAL: Your sister is experiencing a difficult pregnancy for many reasons, so please do not pressure her. I'm sure she already knows how much you want a baby -- so be supportive and let her know you are there for her. Period.

DEAR ABBY: My supervisor "Valerie" is smart and beautiful. However she is a few pounds overweight. The problem is she thinks she can still squeeze into a size 8. You can tell she's interested in looking professional and stylish by the clothes she picks out, but she still looks terrible. She is obviously in denial about her appearance, and her co-workers and underlings talk about her behind her back.

Because Valerie is my supervisor, I do not feel comfortable telling her how unprofessional she really looks. I am surprised that none of her friends has told her (tactfully), or that her supervisor hasn't told her how unprofessional it is that we all can see the outline of her underwear.

The shame of it is that it's hard to take Valerie seriously in her professional capacity when all one can think about is her clothes don't fit. How does one approach such a subject with someone who isn't really a friend? -- GROSSED OUT AT WORK

DEAR GROSSED OUT: If one is a subordinate, one doesn't. Poor Valerie may be in denial about her weight gain, or she may be having trouble shedding the pounds. Someone who could have a word with her about it would be her supervisor -- who might be inclined to do so if word reached her/him that Valerie's attire was not only distracting, but has become a main topic of conversation in the office.